Raw - April 4, 2000
Dan Titus's Monday Night Raw Report
Yes ladies and gentlemen,tis I.Here to bring you the Raw recap all the
way from Nanaimo, British Columbia. Tonight's show was as flat as week
old beer, but I trudge through, still the Slam! superstar.
Shane McMahon starts us off, and publically apologizes to Papa Vince,
and challenges The Rock to a match. HHH and Stephanie arrive on the
scene, and HHH states that he will avenge the Rock Bottom/People's elbow
Stephanie took to climax Wrestlemania, and issues a challenge of his
own. Boy, is Rock popular. Now it's Vinces turn to put his stamp on
things, and yeah he challenges Rock as well. He also tells people it's
his job to shatter peoples dreams (In Canada,the educational system does
a great job of that). The interview ends and it's not clear who Rock'll
be facing.
After the break, it's time for European champ Chris Jericho (with
Chyna) vs. Eddy Guerrero. Before the match, Eddy goes off about how
Chyna is after some latin heat, and proceeds to say something in
spanish. During the match,the ref goes down, and Jericho splatters.
Eddy with a moonsault. Chyna comes in and makes the count. The raven
haired stunner then hits Y2J with a DDT, and Eddy becomes the third
radical to take gold. Amazing how people said those four guys would
never excel in the WWF.
Another break, and Vince and Stephanie are having one of those heart to
heart talks. Vince agrees to think about letting HHH handle the Rock
situation.
Road Dog and X Pac defeat T&A after Tori interferes. Vince is backstage
telling Shane "I got everything covered".
During Tazz's ring entrance to wrestle Chris Benoit, TSN cut to the
company graphic, can somebody tell me what was edited out? Anyway, Tazz
has things under control when Perry Saturn interferes. Tazz powerslams
Saturn off the top rope, but Benoit wraps him with a belly to back
suplex for the win.
Big Show is in the back, telling Shane how much he's come to love
Hollywood.
After the break, Edge and Christian come to cut a promo. Why does Edge
always sound like he's being dubbed? Maybe he supplements his income by
doing voiceovers for Godzilla movies. These two have taken the old
gimmick of patting each other on the back for everything. The blonde
duo then call out the Hardys. The Hardy's climb up on the apron but are
knocked down by Edge and Christian after they get distracted by the
Dudleys. The Dudleys hit Edge with the 3D, and then brawl with The
Hardys to the dressing room.
Before the break, Eddy and Chyna take off in an orange Cadillac. You
have her home by 11, okay Eddy?
Another break, and Big Show tangles with Rakishi. The match is short as
Rikishi is disqualified after Too Cool interferes...strange, Rikishi
wasn't in a lot of trouble. Oh, I almost forgot, Big Show attempted
to do the "Worm" and then he missed while attempting Scotty Too Hotty's
elbow. Funny stuff.
In the back, Shane, Vince, and HHH are drawing straws to decide who'll
face the Rock (I heard that's how they determine who gets to be Prime
Minister of Canada). Shane draws the short straw.
When the show comes back, Big Show is on the mic. He says there's more
to him than headbutts and chokeslams. He's actually quite a funny
guy. He proves his point by dancing to Rikishi's music. I know this
isn't nice, but he boogies with all the rythym of an elephant with a
thumbtack stuck in his paw.
Rock has no comment on that, but points out several of Vince's past
"achievements". National expansion in 1983, Wrestlemania in 1985, the
great penis enlargement in 1991, well, the Rock says all those
achievements now mean...nothing. Rock says he doesn't care who he
has to face. By the way, what's Rocks obsession with penis jokes?
We now overhear Too Cool making fun of the Big Show's dancing.
Oh goodie. The Hardcore comic-relief-title is to be defended. Crash
Holly defeats Hardcore Holly after the Acolytes intervene. Crash is
then jumped by the Mean Street Posse, but escapes.
Big Show is then shown asking Grandmaster Sexay his opinion on his
dancing earlier. Show displays a poor tolerance for constructive
criticism, and puts Sexay through a table.
Next match, Kurt Angle tells the fans how being robbed of the I.C. and
European titles is bad for the U.S. economy. Angle then insults Val
Venis by trying to put on rubber gloves before their match. Kurt
wins with a Chicken Wing.
For some reason, the WWF figured Bull Buchanan versus Kane would be what we
wanted to see the night after Wrestlemania. Not much here. Kane wins
with a Tombstone. The cop duo then pounds Kane's wrist with a chair.
Main Event time.
This is it? An unopposed show, the night after the biggest PPV of the
year gives us...Shane McMahon versus The Rock? Well, this was a match
that really fell flat. HHH interferes, and Rock pins him after a Rock
Bottom, while Vince curses the show off the air.
