Credible retains title at Hardcore Heaven
By JOHN POWELL -- SLAM!
Wrestling
How can you tell you're hardcore? You hold a wrestling pay-per-view
on Mother's Day. Not a good idea. Call it Karma. Call it Mother Nature
showing she truly has the stroke. Call it coincidence or maybe, just
maybe...the collective negative energy from all those Moms whose families
ducked out on them to watch wrestling came to bear on ECW as it held its
Hardcore Heaven pay-per-view from The Rave in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
First they lost the introductory promo that usually follows Joey Styles and
Joel Gertner's chat in the ring. Styles and Gertner looked dazed and confused as
the cameras cut to shots of the audience. Then, the house lights went out
during the three way match between Little Guido, Mikey Whipwreck and Simon
Diamond. Spotlights were quickly turned on to illuminate the ring. The
lights came back on after the match concluded. Also, several camera men
were taken out when they got too close to the action. A rough night all
around for ECW. In spite of the glitches, ECW maintained its composure and
put on another rip-roaring show. Congrats to everyone for not missing a
step. Though it might be nice in future if they announced the complete card
ahead of time. Not doing so makes them look bush league at say the
least.
In the main event ECW World Heavyweight Champion Justin Credible was
supposed to put the belt on the line in a three way dance with Tommy
Dreamer and Lance Storm. Credible threw a wrench into the works by saying
that if Dreamer entered the ring he would take the belt and heave it into
the trash live on pay-per-view. ECW head honcho Paul Heyman and a mob of
security guards held Dreamer back. Heyman told Dreamer that (to paraphrase
the crude verbiage) there was nothing he could do about the situation.
Dreamer shook hands with Lance Storm wishing him luck before departing to
the locker room.
The former Impact Players tag team stared each other down in the middle of
the ring. They traded slaps and punches. Storm did a double-leg take down
on Credible sweeping him off his feet. Credible bailed out. As the champ
went to climb back in, Storm attacked keeping him on the outside. Once he
did manage to, Storm whipped him into a corner. Credible completed a Ric
Flair flip over the ropes landing on the apron. Storm drop kicked him to
the floor. The OTHER grappler from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, jumped upon
Credible. Credible caught him in the face with his Singapore Cane. Storm's
forehead was opened up.
Credible set-up a table on the rampway. Credible and Storm rifled chops and
punches at each other. The crowd began chanting...We want Dreamer! Storm
elbowed out of a chinlock and performed a sunset flip on Credible for a two
count. Credible clotheslined Storm down to the canvass. A thumb to the eye,
a snap mare and Storm was trapped in the same punishing hold which he
escaped via elbows to the gut again. Turning up the offence, Storm
Hurracanranaed Credible and hit him with a beautiful flying reverse elbow
smash off the second rope. Storm got a two count.
Storm reversed the champion's That's Incredible finishing move into a nice
bridged suplex reaping another two count. Credible super kicked Storm in
the face. The ref slapped two. Credible unfolded a steel chair slamming
Storm's head into it. An overworked official counted two. Credible went for
a cross body block off the top rope. Storm rolled with it tangling Credible
up for...you guessed it...another two. Using Roddy Piper's patented move,
the champ poked Storm in the eye yet again. Storm reversed an Irish whip
hip-tossing Credible over the ropes and through the table Credible himself
had placed there earlier. Rolling him in Storm saw the official's hand hit
the canvas twice.
Countering a move by his former partner, Storm twisted Credible into a
single leg crab. Francine saw her man in deep trouble so she took off her
high-heeled shoe smacking Storm in the back of the head breaking the hold.
Dawn Marie intervened. A cat fight ensued. Credible dragged Dawn Marie off
of Francine by the hair. Justin drilled her with That's Incredible. Storm
caned and Deep Impacted Credible. Two count. Storm went for his finishing
move once more. Credible countered it with That's Incredible. Two count.
Credible and Storm pounded on each other while on their knees. Credible
swinging DDTed Storm. Two count. Storm drop kicked Credible down heading
for the top rope. Credible crotched Storm, picked him up and laced him with
That's Incredible. Credible got the pinfall to hold onto the strap.
Francine picked up the ECW World Title first, then checked on her man.
Joey Styles was about to sign off when Dreamer caned Credible. Dreamer
turned his attention to Francine. She put the belt down in front of him,
stroked his face and hugged him. Dreamer Spicolli Drivered Francine, took
the belt, dropped it on a fallen Credible talking trash to him as the
pay-per-view went off the air.
The next ECW pay-per-view is Heat Wave 2000 on July 16th.
ECW Hardcore Heaven Results
Cyrus barges into the commentator's booth. (Wing) Kintaro Kanemura is
with him. Cyrus and Gertner bandy threats about. Cyrus orders Kanemura to
choke out Gertner. He does. Cyrus takes Gertner's announcing position, though
tonight he seems uninspired giving mostly direct commentary and not playing
into his Network angle all that often.
Balls Mahoney Vs Masato Tanaka
Standard spirited brawl they've done in the past. Mahoney and Tanaka
shake hands ahead of beating the snot out of each other. Tanaka takes three
glasses of beer to the face. Mahoney is Tornado DDTed on the rampway. At
4:30, the traditional chair duel. Mahoney kicks out of a Tornado DDT on a
pile of chairs. Tanaka shoulders out of the Nutcracker Suite and one on the
chairs. Mahoney kicks out of the Roaring Elbow. A Roaring Elbow and a chair
shot from the top rope and Mahoney goes down to defeat.
Winner: Masato Tanaka at 9 minutes and 13 seconds.
Match Rating: 7 / 10.
Simon Diamond Vs Mikey Whipwreck Vs Little Guido (Three Way
Elimination Match)
Simon should change his name to Johnny Diamond. Oh, yeah. And what's
with the 55 thousand people accompanying him to the ring? Mitch, the dweeb
in the tux. Two muscle heads and a mostakteer...of all things? Lose them,
Diamond. They complicate matters. Sal has a bandage around his head. At
5:37, the house lights blink out. The grapplers wrestle on as the ring area
is lit by spotlights. Mikey boots Diamond with the Whippersnapper at 5:37.
Mikey is handed some material from the Sinister Minister. Whipwreck throws
a fireball into Sal's face. Guido plasters Mikey with the Maritado to pin him.
Winner: Little Guido at 7 minutes and 12 seconds.
Match Rating: 6 / 10.
Lou E. Dangerously, the Dangerous Alliance and Electra yap on and on.
Dangerously says Electra is the toughest woman in wrestling today. Jazz
disagrees punking the Alliance. Electra is wearing a Mike Awesome shirt.
Jazz tears it off. Electra is wearing a real skimpy swim suit deal
underneath. Anderson Spinebusters Jazz. This brings a steaming Kid Kash to
the ring.
Kid Kash Vs C.W. Anderson
What's with the New Dangerous Alliance's wrestling attire? They look
like a cross between the Killer Bees and The Hart Foundation. Strange.
Dangerously clocks Wilde with his phone by mistake. Kid Kash's hurracanrana
puts Anderson away.
Winner: Kid Kash at 5 minutes and 8 seconds.
Match Rating: 5 / 10.
The Baldies Vs Nova, Chetti Vs Doring, Roadkill (Tag Team Elimination
Match)
It's the match of the gimmick-challenged wrestlers. Each of these guys
is a well-schooled yet their personas are dragging them down. Nova is
dressed as Venom. Maybe he oughta be in the Rhino - Sandman match? At 3:43,
Grimes interferes with a guitar labeling Doring with it. They're outta
there. At 5:03, Roadkill top rope splashes Grimes through a table on the
outside of the ring! Nova and Chetti execute the Tidal Wave to usher out
the Baldies. The Baldies swarm Chetti and Nova.
Winners: Chris Chetti and Nova at 6 minutes and 29 seconds.
Match Rating: 7.5 / 10.
New Jack Vs The Baldies
Rap music plays over the speakers. New Jack arrives on the scene with
what else...plunder. Devito is staple-gunned in the head. New Jack stabs
Devito and Angel in the head using a fork! The Butcher would be proud. New
Jack body splashes Devito through a table from a balcony high above. Chair
shot from the top rope wins New Jack the match. Match? What match? They
never said this was a match. Odd. New Jack's matches against The Baldies
are starting to look the same to me.
Winner: New Jack at...who the heck was counting?
Match Rating: 5 / 10.
Joey Styles addresses the screw-up at the show's start. He claims he
was frazzled because Tommy Dreamer was attacked by Credible and came
staggering out into the area all bloody like. Nice try, Joey. ECW has to be
commended for facing the mistake and not sweeping it under the carpet.
Steve Corino Vs Tajiri
Match Of The Year Candidate. Awesome display by two EXTREMELY
underrated grapplers. Corino reminds me more and more of Barry Windham all
the time. Corino offers to forgive Tajiri then he lays into him with some
racial slurs. It's the year 2000. Is this stuff really necessary? Tajiri
responds by going nuts on Corino. Corino gets Brainbustered on the rampway.
Tied to the tree of woe and kicked in the head, Corino bleeds heavily.
Blood drops spray onto the camera capturing the action. Cool. Tajiri drop
kicks a table into Corino's throat. Tajiri blows the green mist into Jack
Victory's eyes and stomps Corino through a table. (Wing) Kintaro Kanemura
punks Tajiri. Dusty Rhodes plays hero. Rhino rings Dusty's bell. Enter
Sandman is cued.
Winner: Tajiri at 10 minutes and 19 seconds.
Match Rating: 9 / 10.
The Sandman (challenger) Vs Rhino (champion) (ECW World Television
Title Match)
The Sandman's wife canes Jack Victory. Bah. Ha. What a loser. Give
Victory his walking papers, Paul. He doesn't do much but put together
tables, anyways. In a sick spot, Rhino piledrives the Sandman's wife off
the ring apron and onto a table. Sandman canes Rhino and picks up his
injured wife. Rhino gores Sandman through a table. Rhino wishes The
Sandman's wife a happy Mother's Day using some four letter words I can't
repeat here. Man, Rhino is evil I tell you. Evil!
Winner: ...and still ECW Television Champion...Rhino at 6 minutes
and 21 seconds
.
Match Rating: 7 / 10.
Jerry Lynn Vs Rob Van Dam
Match Of The Candidate flawed by a run-in ending. What can be said that
hasn't been said before about RVD and Lynn? As for pure wrestling talent,
you can't get any better than them. RVD does a Five Star splash on Lynn and
a steel chair. Cyrus leaves the broadcast position. Corino and Victory get
involved. Jerry Lynn fights them off. Rhino gores Lynn. Rhino powerbombs
RVD. Cyrus sneaks up behind RVD, mike in hand to bash him one. RVD Van
Daminators Cyrus. Lynn Van Daminators Alphonso. Van Dam does the same to
Lynn. RVD ascends to the top rope. Scotty Anton tears off his RVD shirt and
pushes RVD off the top rope. RVD takes a nasty fall hitting the edge of the
rampway as he hits the arena floor. Ouch! Anton tosses RVD back in. A
Cradle Piledriver by Lynn garners him a two count. A Cradle Piledriver on a
steel chair wins him the bout. ECW trainers come in to check on RVD.
Winner: Jerry Lynn at 19 minutes and 51 seconds
.
Match Rating: 9 / 10.
Lance Storm (challenger) Vs Justin Credible (champion) (ECW World
Heavyweight Title Match) )
Winner: ...and still ECW World Heavyweight Champion...Justin
Credible at 12 minutes and 2 seconds
.
Match Rating: 8 / 10.
