Surprises dominate Rumble 2001
By JOHN POWELL -- SLAM!
Wrestling
It's pay-per-view time again and wouldn't you know it, BIG surprises are
promised beforehand. I'm beginning to experience deja vu. Aren't you? Lo
and behold, it's the Royal Rumble 2001 from the New Orleans Arena in New
Orleans, La., and the World Wrestling Federation delivers. Imagine
that.
Let's forget about the winner of the 30-man, over-the-top-rope, battle
royal for a moment. Everyone knows who has that position locked in. Just
like the last million or so Rumbles where a shot at the WWF World
Heavyweight Title at WrestleMania is on the line, it makes the guess work a
lot easier to determine who will receive the coveted spot. Let's focus on
the surprises. The WWF steals a page from the Eric Bischoff Guide To
Booking Wrestling Matches and enters comedian Drew Carey in the Royal
Rumble. Carey eliminated himself as he was left in the ring with Kane once
the Hardy Boys booted themselves.
Next up, the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all-time, the HonkyTonk
Man makes his WWF return. He cuts his signature promo. Sings his song. Kane
lays him out with his own guitar and tosses him out. Great to see Honky
again though this dumping all over the veteran WWF wrestlers angle by the
Federation really doesn't say much for them respecting their own
history.
The Big Show gets called back from the minors (Jim Cornette's Ohio Valley promotion) to
fill in a Rumble gap. Thing is, I thought this guy was supposed to LOSE
weight not GAIN it. Wow. What a roll he's carrying. He's more out of shape
than ever before. If he doesn't watch it he'll be teamed with Rikishi soon
enough. Show cleans house and chokeslams The Rock through a table before
getting the heave-ho in short order. My guess is that's the last you'll see
of the Big Show until he gets his act together.
Finally, in a move that embarrasses Eric Bischoff and World Championship
Wrestling, their Hardcore Champion -- Meng (called by his old WWF name,
Haku) -- enters the Rumble at Number 29. Really strange, that. The most
obvious pairing would be with Rikishi but the two didn't team-up during
Meng's time in the Rumble. Can you say a tournament for the WCW Hardcore
Title on Nitro tonight? I gotta see how WCW explains this one and how the
WWF uses Meng, if at all. It might've been a one-shot deal. Who knows?
Of course, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin won the Royal Rumble but not, at least
in my mind, without some controversy. When the buzzer went at Number 27,
Austin came out. He never made it to the ring though. Gaining revenge for
what Austin did to him during his WWF World Title match against Kurt Angle
earlier on, Triple H pummeled Stone Cold into a bloody mess before he had
the chance to enter the ring. Billy Gunn was next and in the ring as Austin
lay battered on the arena floor.
If my Royal Rumble knowledge serves me correctly, every participant must
enter the ring before the next contestant comes out. Otherwise, they are
disqualified. If the rule wasn't in place a wrestler could just hang around
outside the ring as long as they like never getting into the fray until the
field is whittled down. Was the obvious mistake intentional? The announcers
never mention the rule violation. Could Kane be declared the Rumble winner
on Raw tonight possibly setting up a four-way dance at WrestleMania? If
Austin's Rumble victory holds true it is just another gaping hole in a
recent WWF storyline further pointing to the lack of organization and
continuity in the WWF booking department during the last four or five
months.
As I mentioned, Kane and Austin were the last two men with Kane doing a Ric
Flair and being in the match for just over an hour. Kane joined at 7
minutes and 11 seconds in and was put out by Austin at an hour and 57
seconds. The last three men were Kane, Austin and The Rock. After being
chokeslammed by The Big Show, Rock sat out much of the Rumble match on the
arena floor as Austin did. The Rock and Austin lock eyes and fought as Kane
slumped in a corner. Kane snuck in to push The Rock out. Kane chokeslammed
Austin and attempted to cave-in his skull with a steel chair. Austin fought
back chair-shooting Kane three or four times then clotheslined him out to
be the last man standing in the Rumble.
The pay-per-view itself wasn't as creative as last year's show. The tedious
replay of XFL, WWF restaurant promos and angle recaps which were already
shown on Heat before the pay-per-view really damaged the broadcast forming
noticeable gaps in the action. Still, the Rumble itself, the amazing
Jericho - Benoit ladder bout and the WWF World Title match made up for the
repetitious footage and the jumbled storylines.
The next WWF pay-per-view is No Way Out on February 28th.
WWF Royal Rumble 2001 Results
Dudley Boys (challengers) versus Edge, Christian (champions) (WWF
World Tag Team Title Match)
Both teams seem a bit sluggish tonight especially D'Von Dudley. D'Von
ducks a Con-chair-to, clotheslining the champs to the canvas. Buh Buh is
hot-tagged in. In two clever spots, Edge spears Buh Buh as The Dudleys were
about to 3-D Christian. Edge and Christian try the "whassup" Dudley Boy
move. Buh Buh rolls up Christian. Edge is pushed off the top rope by D'Von.
Edge headbutts Christian's crotch. 3-D on Edge and "those damn Dudleys" are
your new tag team champions, without the use of any tables.
Winners: ...and new WWF World Tag Team Champions, The Dudley Boys at
9 minutes and 38 seconds.
Match Rating: 5 / 10.
Promo time. Triple H tells Stephanie not to interfere in the title
match. Stephanie says that if Trish gets involved, she's dead meat. Drew
Carey interrupts Stephanie and Triple H. He claims to have seen Kamala at
the airport showing his total lack of modern wrestling knowledge. Steph
offers to take Drew to see Trish Stratus.
The APA are playing cards. They compare Rumble numbers teasing that
they will face each other but never actually do. Crash Holly tells them
they are friends and all but he will still kick their butts. The point is?
Chris Jericho (challenger) versus Chris Benoit (champion) (WWF
Intercontinental Title - Ladder Match)
A stunning Match Of The Year Candidate. This match contains the highest
level of artistry, ring psychology and intricately planned spots. By
watching it unfold you can tell the two men spent a lot of time putting
this symphony of destruction together. Some great spots include...Benoit
suicide-diving through the ropes and Jericho hitting him in the head with a
steel chair (What impact and sound!), Jericho locking on a Tajiri-like
Tarantula submission move on Benoit at the top of the standing ladder,
Benoit suplexing Jericho over the ropes and Jericho setting-up the ladder
so Benoit was trapped underneath pinned to the mat. Undeniably one of the
best ladder matches presented anywhere. In the end, it is Jericho who tips
over the ladder on Benoit. Benoit falls out of the ring and can't climb
back in time to stop Jericho from grabbing the belt.
Winner: ...and new WWF Intercontinental Champion...Chris Jericho at
18 minutes and 49 seconds.
Match Rating: 10 / 10.
McMahon swerves Carey into participating in the Royal Rumble.
Stephanie and Trish spar verbally in the make-up department. Billy Gunn
warns Chyna not to go through with the match against Ivory as her doctors
have advised against it. Chyna won't heed the doctor's or Gunn's advice.
Chris Jericho calls Benoit "one of the toughest bastards" he's ever had to
fight. Yap. Yap. Yap. Ads. Ads. Ads. Back to the action.
Chyna (challenger) versus Ivory (champion) (WWF World Women's
Heavyweight Championship Match)
From good to bad. Not only a candidate for the Worst Match Of 2001 but
also one of the worst injury angles I have ever witnessed in the 24 years I
have been watching grappling. Ivory gets in no offence as Chyna bashes her
around the ring and into the crowd. Chyna Gorilla Slams Ivory over the ring
barrier. Back in the squared circle, Chyna whips Ivory into a corner and
does her hand-spring thing. She connects with her butt and for some stupid
reason falls down on the canvas. She doesn't move a muscle so Ivory pins
her. Lawler runs to check on Chyna in giving viewers a sickening and
unnecessary flashback to the Owen Hart tragedy. This is bad taste at its
finest. Gunn and EMTs load Chyna onto a stretcher. Chyna does nothing by
remain still. No grimace. Nothing. No Chyna chants are heard. The fans in
attendance don't buy it.
Winner: ...and still WWF Women's World Heavyweight Champion...Ivory
at 3 minutes and 35 seconds.
Match Rating: -5 / 10.
Drew Carey sits in a locker room with his wrestling duds. Kane walks
by. Carey asks...Who is the goofy guy in the mask? More tasteless jokes on
the way. McMahon informs Lo Down that Drew will be taking their spot in the
Rumble. Tiger replies...Drew Curry? Who is that? Triple H is shown snorting
into a mirror like he was Rhino or something. Whatever.
Triple H (challenger) versus Kurt Angle (champion) (WWF World
Heavyweight Title Match)
A good, technical match marred by its length and a stupid cat fight.
Trish tries to help out Kurt who is selling a knee injury which Triple H is
working on with various holds. Stephanie and Trish go at it. Vince McMahon
comes down to separate the two. This goes on for like five minutes until
McMahon guides them to the back. Triple H delivers a Razor's Edge and Ross
calls it as such. The ref is taken out twice. Once Triple H falls into him
from the apron and two, he is smashed into the ring stairs. Austin does a
run-in hitting Triple H with the World Title busting him open and also
Stunning him. Angle covers for the win. Triple H is ticked.
Winner: ...and still WWF World Heavyweight Champion...Kurt Angle at
23 minutes and 58 seconds.
Match Rating: 7.5 / 10.
The Rock refers to himself eight times in his promo.
The Royal Rumble
Random thoughts....
Why didn't McMahon introduce his surprise that he hinted at on
SmackDown!?
Kane and The Undertaker worked as a team.
The Hardy Boys kicked themselves out.
Again, I ask, what was the big deal about the APA promo? Nothing
happened to them.
Boos erupted from the crowd when Tazz was kicked out so quickly. When
is the WWF going to realize that Tazz is a fan favourite and quit screwing
him around?
Once Raven come in, it was a hardcore match for awhile with trash cans
and such in the ring. Interesting indeed.
|
Participant |
Time In |
Time Out |
| Jeff Hardy |
Start |
6:38 |
| Bull Buchanan |
Start |
2:10 |
| Matt Hardy |
1:55 |
6:38 |
| Faarooq |
3:34 |
4:36 |
| Drew Carey |
5:27 |
9:08 |
| Kane |
7:11 |
1 hour, 57 seconds |
| Raven |
9:00 |
17:52 |
| Snow |
10:41 |
17:45 |
| Saturn |
12:31 |
17:23 |
| Steve Blackman |
14:28 |
17:38 |
| Grandmaster Sexay |
16:14 |
17:21 |
| The HonkyTonk Man |
18:13 |
19:57 |
| The Rock |
20:19 |
59:12 |
| The Goodfather |
22:10 |
22:27 |
| Tazz |
23:52 |
24:04 |
| Bradshaw |
25:54 |
43:34 |
| Albert |
27:42 |
42:41 |
| Hardcore Holly |
29:33 |
43:36 |
| K.Kwick |
31:33 |
39:23 |
| Val Venis |
33:13 |
43:42 |
| William Regal |
35:12 |
37:17 |
| Test |
37:06 |
39:50 |
| Big Show |
38:91 |
40:30 |
| Crash Holly |
41:07 |
44:43 |
| The Undertaker |
42:51 |
53:55 |
| Scotty Too Hotty |
44:40 |
45:48 |
| Steve Austin |
46:23 |
WINNER |
| Billy Gunn |
48:03 |
55:26 |
| Haku (Meng) |
49:54 |
52:48 |
| Rikishi |
51:45 |
54:54 |
Winner: ...Steve Austin at 1 hour and 57 seconds.
Match Rating: 9 / 10.
Total Event Time: 2 hours and 55 minutes.
Overall Event Rating: 9 / 10.
