Tag team bout steals Massacre show
By JOHN POWELL -- SLAM!
Wrestling
The Sandman stole the ECW World Heavyweight Title last night at Massacre On 34th Street.
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History repeated itself in more ways than one at the ECW Massacre On 34th
Street pay-per-view live from the Hammerstein Ballroom in Manhattan, New
York. Steve "King Of Old School" Corino once again fended off not one but
two challengers to the ECW World Heavyweight Championship and The Sandman
repeated his behaviour during Raven's reign as champ years ago by pilfering
the title.
Credit the talent. Credit the bookers. Even without a home for their weekly
television show, ECW continues to top the other federations when it comes
to pure wrestling. Their storylines may not be as intricate but ECW is
still best at where it counts in my book: presenting fantastic matches. For
example, it is a shame that the three-way elimination match for the World
Title had to follow a wicked Match Of The Year candidate in Mikey Whipwreck
and Tajiri versus Super Crazy and Kid Kash. If you didn't know better you'd
think Corino, Credible and Lynn were all moving in slow motion or totally
dogging their bout. That's because the four technicians before them put on
such a rapid-fire clinic in tag team wrestling that anything else the show
had to offer couldn't possibly beat what was just witnessed. Thems the
breaks, kids.
Lynn, Corino and Credible intrepidly soldiered on all the while cognizant
of the fact that the show's climax already occurred. Not surprisingly Lynn,
rumoured to be heading to the WWF soon, was the first to be ousted.
Francine interfered and tried to kick Lynn in the groin. He leap-frogged
the kick which ended up striking Credible. Credible launched a punch at
Lynn. He dodged that too so that Credible punched Francine in the chops.
Credible was able to put a disoriented Lynn in the That's Incredible
piledriver giving The New F'N Show the heave-ho. At seeing Lynn get
trounced, Cyrus abandoned the commentator's booth to hunt him down.
A replay of last month's November To Remember show had Corino and Credible
squaring off for ECW's most prized possession. Credible remarkably bled
before Corino did as his head struck some mesh fencing on other side of the
entranceway. While Credible licked his wounds, Corino brought out a ladder
from the back. He leveraged it against the security railing in hopes of
banking Credible off it. Credible reversed the Irish whip sending Corino
tumbling into it.
Rhino chokes out Spike Dudley.
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Inside the ring, Credible suplexed Corino on the ladder as the brawl made
its way through the crowd, up the stairs to one of the Hammerstein
Ballroom's balconies. In front of startled fans and a herd of ECW security,
Credible caned Corino over and over again. Credible pushed Corino over the
railing. Corino held on for dear life as Credible caned him in the skull.
Inevitably, Corino let go and dropped about 10 or 15 feet to the area
floor. Corino came up bleeding from the forehead. Corino blading time
equals twenty minutes and three seconds for those counting that sort of
thing.
When they returned to the ring Corino kicked out of That's Incredible then
twisted and turned Credible into The Old School Expulsion to retain the
title. Even before Corino had a chance to mug for the cameras, The Sandman
tore into the ring caning both Jack Victory and Corino. Sandman scooped up
the ECW Heavyweight Title screaming at Corino..."You may be the ECW World
Heavyweight Champion but this belt is mine!" Sandman fled into the crowd
to do what he does best...guzzle brews.
Jerry Lynn is shown walking out of the arena with his bags. Cyrus catches
up to him. Cyrus believes that Lynn was screwed again. Lynn agrees to be
managed by Cyrus. What could it all mean?
The next ECW pay-per-view is ECW pay-per-view is Guilty As Charged
on January 7th.
ECW Massacre On 34th Street Results
Steve Corino cuts a funny promo putting down past champions who've
defended their titles in New York like Bruno Sammartino and Pedro Morales
(He's on welfare now!). Referring to an "Internet rumour", Corino asks
Victory if he wants the title belt. Victory replies negatively saying it is
too heavy. As Victory heads off, Corino turns to the camera claiming he can
kick Victory's ass anyway and that he dyes his grey hair blonde.
Swinger, Simon Diamond versus Christian York, Joey Matthews
Why do I feel like The Rockers theme should be playing whenever York
and Matthews hit the ring? Hmmmm. Dawn Marie halts the start of the match
with a special announcement. She offers her services to the team who wins.
Talk about incentive. The Y2K Rockers win with a pair of dual flying body
splashes though Matthews lies in the corner apparently injuring his arm.
Dawn Marie jumps York scratching his eyes out. It's a swerve! It's a
swerve! Diamond and Swinger bash York's head in. Marie hugs and kisses
Simon. Ah, true love.
Winners: Christian York, Joey Matthews at 5 minutes and 32 seconds.
Match Rating: 6 / 10.
EZ Money Vs Balls Mahoney
In a we-really-didn't-need-to-see-that moment, EZ Money shows off the
g-string he has on under his trunks. Yikes! What would Aunt May think? Hot
Commodity members punk Mahoney at their leisure. Chris Hamrick steals away
Mahoney's chair as he is about to use it. Julio Dinero lands a leg drop. EZ Money scores a pinfall in the confusion. A crazed Nova arrives to rescue Balls
from a beating. Chair in hand, Balls sticks around to keep Money and
Hamrick in check.
Winner: EZ Money at 7 minutes and 50 seconds.
Match Rating: 5 / 10.
Nova Vs Dinero
Nova Krunches Electra. Mahoney whacks every member of Hot Commodity
with his steel chair. Nova scores a flying body splash and the victory.
Winner: Nova at 5 minutes and 50 seconds.
Match Rating: 6 / 10.
Rhino slobbers and rages at Spike Dudley. My 15-month-old son is
transfixed by Rhino's blitherings. There must be something an egghead
psychologist would read into that. No matter. Next...
The F.B.I. (champions) Vs Roadkill, Danny Doring (challengers) (ECW
World Tag Team Title Match)
Another wild tag team bout. If Roadkill and Doring lose they must
break-up as a team. Mamaluke takes a nasty spill as Doring kicks him in the
face. Mamaluke sails out of the ring and audibly strikes his head or jaw on
the security fence then hits the pavement. Ouch! Road Kill and Doring do
their version of the Hart Foundation guillotine to win the tag team belts.
Mamaluke has to be helped to the back.
Winners: ....and new ECW World Tag Team Champions...Danny Doring and
Road Kill at 9 minutes and 9 seconds.
Match Rating: 7.5 / 10.
Spike cuts a promo as Rhino mocking him. Spike tells Rhino...f--k you!
Spike speaks highly of his wins over Bam Bam Bigelow, 911 and The Dudley
Boys. Rhino is going down. Cut to the ring where a "ring boy" is wiping off
the ropes with a towel.
C.W. Anderson Vs Tommy Dreamer
Anderson spits in Dreamer's face to say hello. Anderson works on
Dreamer's arm. To start it off he wraps it in a steel chair and the ring
post then hits both with another steel chair. In a move I haven't seen in
years, Dreamer Atomic Drops Anderson on a chair in the ring. Anderson drags
Ring Boy into the ring. He Irish Whips him into Dreamer. Anderson comes
charging in. Dreamer lifts Ring Boy up so he can kick Anderson in the
mouth. Ring Boy leaves the ring in a hurry. Lou E. Dangerously appears at
ringside and shoves down Ring Boy. Dangerously clocks Dreamer in the head
with his phone. Paul Heyman busts Dangerously with his from behind. A table
comes into play. Dreamer SpineBusters Anderson on the table. Anderson
Super-plexes Dreamer on it. Anderson sets-up the table upside down in the
corner with its legs sticking up. Dreamer is SpineBustered through the
table and the legs.
Winner: C.W. Anderson at 16 minutes and 47 seconds.
Match Rating: 8 / 10.
Sinister Minister is back with Tajiri and Whipwreck in their locker
room. He doesn't look worse for wear besides a heavily bandaged hand.
Rhino Vs Spike Dudley (ECW Television Title Match)
Spike takes the early advantage working on Rhino's legs. Rhino
chair-shots Spike twice. Spike bleeds from the forehead. Spike dives from
an upper balcony onto Rhino. In the ring, Spike strives for an Acid Drop.
Rhino lifts Spike into the air throwing him over the top rope and through a
table. Rhino gores Spike. The fans chant "Goldberg" taunting Rhino. Spike
rolls out of the ring and tapes Rhino's leg to the bottom rope. He bashes
the trapped leg with a steel chair. In a clumsy finish, Rhino mauls Spike
into a chokehold in which he squeezes him into unconsciousness. Rhino
chair-shots Spike three times as he lays immobile. Rhino gores a ref
through a table. Someone, anyone, beat Rhino...pa-leeze.
Winner: ...and still ECW Television Champion...Rhino at 9 minutes
and 51 seconds.
Match Rating: 5 / 10.
Credible attacks Corino and Victory backstage.
Mikey Whipwreck, Tajiri Vs Super Crazy, Kid Kash
Tajiri wraps up Super Crazy in the dreaded Tarantula.
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As already noted, a Match Of The Year candidate. High-flying moves.
Precise counter-for-counter wrestling that received standing ovations.
Hardcore brutality. This one has something for everyone. Whipwreck and
Tajiri place Crazy and Kash's heads between three steel chairs. The spot
almost doesn't come off until Sinister Minister comes to the aid and holds
the chairs in place. Whipwreck and Tajiri double drop kick the chairs. Kid
Kash uses the official to hurtle the ropes and splash Whipwreck, Tajiri and
Crazy. Tajiri blows his green mist. Whipwreck and Kash both duck. Crazy,
standing on the apron, gets it in the face. Mikey Whippersnappers Kash off
the top rope and onto a steel chair. Kash also suffers the same only
through a table outside the ring. Kid Kash Hurracanranas Whipwreck off the
top rope through a table on the ringside floor. Tajiri lays three chairs
and a table over Crazy. His top rope double stomp seals Crazy's fate.
Clip: Highlights of the Tajiri, Whipwreck, Super Crazy and Kid Kash match.
(1.5 MB)
Winners: Mikey Whipwreck and Tajiri at 18 minutes and 24
seconds.
Match Rating: 10 / 10.
Another pointless Blue Meanie segment. Why does this guy get air time
if he isn't going to wrestle? Meanie is cruising around New York in a car.
He picks up Jasmine.
Steve Corino (champion) Vs Jerry Lynn (challenger) Vs Justin Credible
(challenger) (ECW World Heavyweight Title Match)
Winner: ...and still ECW World Heavyweight Champion...Steve Corino
at 22 minutes and 47 seconds
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Match Rating: 7 / 10.
Total Event Time: 2 hours and 45 minutes
Overall Event Rating: 8 / 10.
