Here today, gone tomorrow
By JARETT CHAROWSKY --
for SLAM! Wrestling
Who was that wrestler I saw you with last night?
If you've been watching the WWF for the past little while, that's not
really a hard question to answer is it?
However, if you're new to the whole scene, the names like Crash Holly,
Bull Buchanan, D'Lo Brown, Jerry Lynn or Mike Awesome may not mean much
to you. (Alright, alright, those names mean something to all of you, but
that's not my point). These men are all either injured, being re-worked
or lost in the shuffle. People heal, or they'll find a niche and the WWF
will split their roster (right?).
We are in a day and age where there are more quickly recognizable names
than faces .. or costumes anyway. Most of us can take a look at a glossy
photo of any of the WWF regulars and know who they are in an instant. So
far, so good. My main problem was when the Alliance all got together in
the ring. I suppose it was for unity at the time, and it makes sense,
but almost to a tee they all wore black shirts, wore pants and they all
looked the same. I'd watch the camera pan over the huddled mass in the
ring and have to second guess myself on who some of these people were.
Tazz always had a bit of color, but I think he was supposed to stick out
of the crowd anyway. The Dudley's, long since dropping their blue for
gray, still had a look of their own. Austin stuck out because he would
wear jeans (the blue was dazzling), he's bald and he said 'what?' a lot.
Plus, he happens to be Steve Austin, a fact you can't really hide even
if you wanted to. Everyone else though I didn't find too much different.
What happened to Lance Storm's red and white pants ? Where's Kidman's
white tank top and cut off jeans? (Ok, so it's hard to sell 'wife
beater' shirts to the crowd, but most shirts that get sold at shows
aren't worn by the wrestlers anyway) Mike Awesome didn't sparkle and
Hugh Morrus blended right in? Wow Sum suck the color and life right out of
them. I was glad when they had Angle for a week or so.
Maybe I'm reading too much into this? Maybe I'm the only one who would
like to see something a little different? I'm not suggesting that we go
nuts and spray-paint everyone different neon colors. Plus there are
people like Kane, Jericho (not only his shirts, but he has color in his
ponytail too!) and RVD. Even the vest and the little bit of blue on it
helps out DDP Sum. and that's a good thing. Then we have people who don't
need anything to stick out of a crowd like the Undertaker, Big Show and
Having said all of that, I wonder if the WWF has been thinking along the
same lines as I have? The WWF has heralded in the new regimes of
Goldust, Mr. Perfect and Chuck & Billy. Well, 'new' in relative terms
Goldust, love him or hate him. That man will ALWAYS stick out in a
crowd. I might not have the patience to sit in a chair and have that
makeup applied to me a few days a week, but I'm glad someone has. He
also has the added advantage of working that gimmick like no one else.
Not many people this side of Doink will surpass Goldust, but in this day
and age you don't need to. Mr.Perfect is -ahem- perfect just wearing the
traditional wrestling body suit. Chuck & Billy has us all seeing red?
Well, it's about half look and half character right now, but I can
guarantee that you will remember them a lot longer and talk about them
more than you ever would have Palumbo and O'Haire while in the WWF. Just
think about it for a minute.
You don't need to give people new gimmicks. You don't need to rename
anyone. You don't even have to do everybody, just a small handful of
people would help. A shirt, a third jersey or a pair of mismatched socks
even. How about a pair of trunks? When Val Venis made his return at the
rumble, I was personally hoping to see him back in the old trunks that
had more purple than black on them. Sounds stupid I know, but I just
think he looked better that way.
Don't even ask me about the Godfather.
Oh well, enough ranting for now. I'm done. The Alliance is dead, long
live the nWo!
Jarett Charowsky is from Winnipeg, Manitoba and can be emailed at email@example.com.
He has written for SLAM! Wrestling in the past: