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By BRET "The Hitman" HART -- For the Calgary Sun
Groin injury won't keep Hitman on the shelf
Diamond Dallas Page put a hit out on the Hitman. I guess I should have expected, with all the damage I've done lately, that Page would sprinkle cash and treats around to anybody who could end my career.
I hope Dean Malenko is proud of himself for rupturing my groin. A groin injury is the most delicate and difficult to heal injury in wrestling because there's no way to wrap it, it takes so long to heal, and it hurts like hell. Despite that, no matter how much the doctors and trainers tell me I shouldn't wrestle until this thing heals, I'm not going home so my good buddy, Dean Malenko, can't collect his reward.
In my opinion, Page looked a little too proud of himself for accepting a DQ match with a guy he knows isn't at 100%, until he lost, that is. It's not my fault he hit his head on the floor when he tried to put me in one of my own patented moves, the figure-four on the ring post. The Giant tried to revive him, albeit in a less-than-orthodox fashion, but he did the best he could to clear the cob webs out of a dazed and confused Dallas Page. There's no sport in beating a beaten man but try as I might, I just couldn't snap him out of it. Some people have suggested that Page might have been inebriated but I don't believe that was the case. In any case, that's how Diamond Dallas Page lost the U.S. Heavyweight Championship back to yours truly.
With crime rates escalating around the U.S., taxes out of control and people with no food on the table, what the U.S. needs is a new hero. I've been saying that all along and every time I do, they boo me, but on Monday those were Bischoff's words and they cheered him. Go figure. Bischoff has a lot on his mind, what with Hogan's sudden bid for the presidency and Bam Bam Bigelow showing up out of nowhere, obsessed with getting a shot at Goldberg.
Why not give Bigelow the shot? No, he doesn't work for WCW, but why can't he? Why not give the guy a contract? He'd be a great addition to the roster or why not sign him for one mega match against Goldberg? It's not like Bigelow is a rookie. He's one of the toughest, meanest, most experienced wrestlers in the world and hey, maybe that's why they won't give him the shot at Goldberg! That's not to say Goldberg is hiding behind the Executive Committee. Goldberg doesn't hide from anybody.
I'm sorry I told you I'd be on Dateline last Tuesday when, as I'm sure many of you know, I wasn't. They interviewed me on Tuesday and I thought it would be on that same night, but it will air on January 27th. Just as I'd suspected, it's going to be an interesting show. I'm looking forward to being on TSN's Gallagher show this Tuesday -- and yes, it is live on Tuesday!
Right now, I'm on a plane on the way to tape my second appearance on Mad TV.
I had fun with those guys last time and I'm looking forward to some laughs. I'll keep you posted.
They say time flies when you're having fun. It's hard to believe I've been with WCW for a year. I like it here. The best wrestling competition in the world is here in WCW. They treat their athletes with respect. They have the philosophy that the talent makes the company. I'm satisfied that in my first year in WCW, I've added the U.S. Heavyweight title to my collection, bringing the total to 12, not including Stampede days.
My toughest match might be Sunday morning when I take on Darth Vader.
Apparently he wants to try to steal Christmas again, like he did last year.
With Senator Dan Hays and Michelle Cameron teaming up with The Hitman, I'm sure we can teach old Darth a lesson, especially when the British Army training corps from Suffield will be there to back us up. This is all going for a great cause, to raise awareness of cystic fibrosis and For The Love of Children Society of Alberta, who went to great lengths to assure that our guests of honor, the approximately 72 children diagnosed with cystic fibrosis and other special needs, will have a great time.