The last Thunder report

The last Thunder report

Ryan Robson's Thunder Report

Well, tonight could possibly be the last Thunder report I ever do. I hope that both my readers enjoyed my reports as much as I did writing them. So hell, let's get on with the show.
Match 1: Air Raid (A.J. Styles and Air Paris) vs. Jung Dragons. Styles charges to the corner where Yang catches him with a belly-to-belly overhead release suplex. Hayashi tries a huricanrana only to have Styles stop him in mid move, hook the legs around the arms, and then pancake him down. Hayashi comes in via hot tag, and has vicious kicks to the head for both his opponents. Yang hits a cradle/piledriver on Styles who gets the save from his partner. Yang goes to the top rope for the Yang-time, but gets shoved off all the way down to the floor. Air Raid hits their version of the H-bomb, but Yang, from the outside, pulls his opponent from the cover. Hayashi hits an inverted bulldog on Styles to secure the win.
Dustin Rhodes comes to the ring with a mic, and a bag. Despite Thunder being taped right after Nitro, Dustin says "For those of you who missed Nitro." He points to the big screen where we all get to see a replay of Ric Flair and Jeff Jarrett's faces into a donkey's rear end. Dustin reaches into the bag, and pulls out a box with the title on the box saying "Pin The Naitch On The Jackass," and it has a picture of Ric Flair pasted on a donkey. He also offers some chapstick for Flair for when he puckers up. He also offers Flair some mouthwash. Finally he offers Flair a hotel room in case he and the donkey get a little too close. Flair then appears on the big screen; he is pretty pissed off about Dustin's actions. Flair starts comparing himself to some sports legends, and then books Dustin against Scott Steiner and Jeff Jarrett. Flair was completely off the deep end for the entire segment.
Match 2: Jason Jett vs. Cash (I'd suggest that he is Kid Kash, but I don't actually know what he looks like). My theory is supported when we get an "ECW" chant, albeit very brief. We start pretty quickly with some flips and some flying. Cash comes off the top rope all the way to the floor to hit a huricanrana. Jett puts Cash in the pendulum, kind of like a reverse Boston crab. Jett hits the shockwave (the slingshot flip to a clothesline), and then hits a standing moonsault for a two-count. Cash gets Jett in trouble. Cash goes for a sunset flip, but Jett catches him, and flattens him with the reverse piledriver. Jett then hits the afterburner (very cool move), and tries the crash-landing, but Cash reverses it and hits the money-maker (double-underhook piledriver). Cash comes off the middle rope, but misjudges the distance, and gets a kick in the gut, followed by the crash landing to earn the win for Jett.
The camcorder has Ric Flair chatting with Rick Steiner. Flair apologizes to Rick for the accusations about attacking Midajah and the others. The Cat and Ms. Jones talk to M.I. Smooth about Kanyon and Animal and their match tonight.
Match 3: Kanyon and Animal vs. M.I. Smooth and The Cat with Ms. Jones. The Cat and Kanyon kick it off, and they do so by exchanging kicks. Smooth comes in with Kanyon in trouble, but Smooth calls for Animal, which proves to be a poor decision as he mounts no offence on Animal. They start to exchange moves that seemingly have no effect on each other. Kanyon has no shortage of innovative moves, and he looks like he wants to hit a fisherman's suplex, but spins around instead and goes for the bridge only for a two-count. Cat starts to dance, and Animal suspects the worse, and so he levels him with a clothesline. Ms. Jones draws Animal away briefly, thus leaving Kanyon in the ring to fight Smooth. Kanyon comes off the ropes, and gets tripped by the Cat. Smooth follows with a jumping splash to pin Kanyon.
Match 4: Hugh Morrus vs. Rick Steiner with Konnan. Morrus is all over Steiner to start out, but Morrus misses a clothesline on the outside, and hits the ringpost. Steiner actually looks decent, the pace is a little slow, but Steiner actually uses some good wrestling moves. Steiner then hits the top rope bulldog, but Morrus gets a foot on the rope to break the count. Steiner starts jawing with some fans, allowing Morrus to recuperate. Morrus surprisingly hits a spinning heel kick. Steiner kicks Morrus in the crotch, enabling him enough time to grab a chair. Steiner puts Morrus' arm in the chair (a la Lex Luger), and calls out Shane Douglas. Douglas comes out, wrist in a cast, and they start to fight. Actually, it's more like Douglas is on the receiving end of Steiner's fighting. They go into the ring where Steiner continues to pound on Douglas. Douglas then pops his arm up nailing Steiner in the face, Morrus follows with a belly-to-back suplex which is enough to get him the pin. Post-match, Douglas hands a tape to ring announcer David Penzer, I'm sure we'll find out what it's all about on Monday.
My mistake, we're finding out right now. Douglas wants a piece of Rick Steiner, and still wants to get to Ric Flair. In the meantime, he will fight Rick Steiner at Nitro.
Match 5, 6-man tag team match: Elix Skipper, Kid Romeo and Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio Jr, Billy Kidman and Sugar Shane Helms. By the way, I agree with Nick that Helms' song sucks. Kidman and Chavo start off. Chavo hits a lightning-quick head scissors, Kidman then hits a neckbreaker before tagging out to Helms. Some bodies go flying out of the ring, with Kidman doing the most damage by hitting all three of his team's opponents. They return to the ring, and Mysterio is being battered. Helms hits the ring, and wipes out all three guys. Kid Romeo gets the fireman's carry /face buster. Kidman hits a top rope elbow drop for a two-count. Chavo gets the baseball slide in the crotch, and then the rough-rider (get it right Schiavone). Helms sets up the vertebreaker on Romeo, but Chavo helps him out, and then takes Helms to the outside. Romeo prepares for the last kiss, but Kidman floats over, and hits the kid crusher to pin Romeo.
Backstage, the camcorder catches Rick Steiner totally enraged about his loss moments ago. Elsewhere, Chuck Palumbo cuts a promo, with Sean O'Haire in the background. He says that he's no going to cry about losing the match (but not the titles) to Team Canada on Nitro. There's going to be a match between Palumbo and Awesome. Palumbo warns Lance Storm that O'Haire will be there should Storm want to interfere. O'Haire grunts to finish the interview... don't ask me, I just write what I see.
Match 6: Chuck Palumbo vs. Mike Awesome. These guys start by slugging it out. Damn, Palumbo is just as tall as Awesome. Awesome hits a flying clothesline off the top rope to the floor, and then hits a slingshot splash into the ring for a two-count. Awesome controls the match for several moments, with some sleeper holds, and some reverse chin-locks. They fight to the outside where Palumbo tries to slug it out. Palumbo takes a chair shot to the forearms, and immediately gets up to hit Awesome with the same chair. Moments later, Palumbo hits a shoulder-tackle off the top ropes, but only gets a two-count. Awesome misses a frog-splash, so Lance Storm runs down to get a small piece of Palumbo. O'Haire runs down and attacks Storm, and they fight on the outside. Awesome goes to the top rope, where O'Haire holds him up long enough to let Palumbo get to his feet. As Storm knocks O'Haire off the ropes, Awesome goes for his attack, but Palumbo reverses it into a powerslam. Soon, Palumbo hits the jungle kick to put Awesome down for the count.
Match 7, handicap match: Dustin Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner. Jarrett and Steiner each get a word in, and Steiner concentrates mostly on Booker T, saying that Monday will be the last match of Booker T's career. Before the match begins, Animal goes to talk to Ric Flair, only to find him laid out. By the way, we have a match. Jarrett starts out against Dustin, and has limited success. Rhodes sets up the dustbuster early, but Steiner distracts Rhodes long enough for Jarrett to slip out of position. Steiner enters and immediately hits the Steinerline, and the elbow drop. As Steiner does his push-ups, the ref counts a pin anyways until Steiner orders him to stop. Rhodes gets an inside cradle on Jarrett, but the ref was turned away. Rhodes hits a running bulldog on Jarrett, but Jarrett gets his foot on the rope. With the ref checking on Jarrett, Rhodes turns and gets nailed by Scott Steiner and his lead pipe. Steiner locks in the Steiner recliner for the win. Steiner puts it on again, and Booker T makes the save. Booker T tells Steiner to bring his A-game on Monday. Meanwhile, security tries to hold Steiner back, and leads him backstage as Thunder comes to a close.
Well, that's it. It's been fun. I certainly hope that there will be something else to write about in a month. Who knows, maybe we will get a whole new promotion with the good talent like Shane Helms, Kanyon, and Lance Storm, and without the dead-weight like Lex Luger, Rick Steiner, and Disqo. Finally, feel free to e-mail me, I'd love to hear what the people liked and didn't like about my reports, you can also tell me how much I suck (kind of the way a lot of people tell Landsberg on Off The Record), I can always use good laughs. Hope to see you soon.