WCW plots strictly for metal heads
By MR.X -- Ottawa Sun
PARTS UNKNOWN -- Eureka! After many weeks of intensive study, I've finally figured out what makes the mind of World Championship Wrestling fans tick.
Yep, you'd have to be about 10 bricks shy of a nine-brick load, or have implants put into your head, to fully appreciate the lame storylines that wind up nowhere. The World Wrestling Federation, while pushing the envelope and with a product that sometimes borders on sleaze, is can't-miss entertainment.
No question, WCW has a stable of stars, led by Hollywouldn't Hogan. And they'll be boosted by the imminent return of legendary stylin', profilin' Ric Flair and the Four Horsemen.
But the WCW's story-tellers do their best to botch up the talented stable of wrestlers, with tales that are convoluted and often downright stupid.
Let's hope Sunday's Fall Brawl, 7 p.m. on Viewer's Choice, breaks off a streak of all-too-predictable bad pay-per-views. The main event is War Games, fought in a two-ring steel cage. The rules have been altered with three teams of three battling, but the sole survivor (kind of takes the team angle away) will get a shot at world champ Goldberg. Diamond Dallas Page captains the WCW team of Roddy Piper and Ultimate Warrior; Kevin Nash captains the nWo Wolfpack team of Sting and Lex Luger; Hogan captains the nWo Hollywood team of Bret Hart and Stevie Ray. Look for the sparks to fly between Hart and Hogan. But since the WCW has sunk so much into the Warrior's return, he will also get a big push in this.
Other matches include: Chris Jericho vs. Konnan; Raven vs. Saturn (with the Flock on the line); Juventud Guerrera vs. Kaz Hayashi; Dean Malenko vs. Curt Hennig; Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner; and The Giant vs. Meng.
AROUND THE WWF: The U.S. Open, thankfully, wraps up this weekend. It means Monday nights will return to normal on TSNwith RAW returning. You can catch the latest edition of RAW, taped a week and a half ago, tonight at midnight on ONtv ... Look for Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Austin Monday ... Baricua Miguel Perez obviously listens closely to chants from the peanut gallery. He's shaved his back ... Sniper and Recon from the Truth Commission will be repackaged as Seek and Destroy.
WCW BITS: Prayers go out to Hacksaw Jim Duggan, who had surgery this week after being diagnosed with cancer ... The Giant (Paul Wright) could be in giant trouble, stemming from a melee in Long Island in June. Wright apparently got into a heated discussion with a 29-year-old man, then broke the man's jaw with a smash to the face. Wright turned himself in Wednesday and was charged with assault ... ECW star Sandman has apparently signed with WCW ... Flair could make his return Monday night, but WCW may decide to do this at a snail's pace (why would they change their approach to this now), and delay it.
AND THEN: Abdullah Butcher is still wrestling the independent circuit. While the madman from the Sudan (he's actually Larry Shreeve from Windsor) claims to be 57, records indicate he's 62. He lives in Atlanta where he owns Abdullah the Butcher's House of Ribs and Chinese Food. Given Abdullah's penchant for carving up opponents, you can bet there's no shortage of eating utensils.