New Hogan film a flop
Monday, October 13, 1998
New Hogan film a flop
By JOHN POWELL -- SLAM!
Hollywood Hogan in Shadow Warriors.
As the leader of pro-wrestling's nasty New World Order gang, the
unscrupulous Hollywood Hogan (AKA: Hulk Hogan, Terry Bollea) often brags
about his reputed movie star status luring members into the fold with
promises of fame and fortune. Which of course shows you just how dumb
Hogan's New World Order chumps really are.
Truth be told, Hollywood Hogan has appeared in almost as many box office
bombs as he's held world title belts. His charming performances in kiddie
favs Mr. Nanny (1993) and Suburban Commando (1991) remain as his shining
moments to date.
Dumping the wholesome Hulk character in favor of the rule-breaking
Hollywood Hogan in the wrestling ring has also redirected Hogan to edgy
roles better suited to the skills he honed as a grappler, such as the
failed Thunder In Paradise action-adventure television series. Unwilling to
be held down for a three count, Hogan has "popped up" once again in the
film Shadow Warriors debuting this month in Canada on The Movie Network.
A transparent rip-off of 1996's summer blockbuster The Rock, Shadow
Warriors - produced by Hogan and World Championship Wrestling
Vice-President Eric Bischoff - stars Hogan as Navy SEAL killing machine
Mike McBride. Schooled in various ancient combat disciplines, McBride leads
a covert team into the jungles of San Dominico to assassinate a drug lord
(The Untouchable's Billy Drago as Gallindo) and bring his depraved empire
crumbling down. Action Jackson himself, Carl Weathers, is McBride's
right-hand man Roy Brown. Learning that Brown has 30 days left before he
retires from active duty does provoke an unintentional snicker or two.
Surprise. Surprise. The mission is anything but a routine search and
destroy exercise. Tipped-off by an inside source, Gallindo sets a trap for
the unsuspecting SEALs. His men dropping like nWo Hollywood members
whenever The Warrior appears, McBride, Brown and an undercover DEA agent
(Canada's B-Movie Queen, Shannon Tweed) capture Gallindo transporting him
to America so he can face criminal charges.
Up to this point, Shadow Warriors is a hokey yet watchable adventure film.
There's enough gun play and fiery explosions to satisfy any action film
fan. But as the plot shifts back to America and a second mission is
introduced, Shadow Warriors swallows a live hand grenade.
In a laughable development, Gallindo's forces kidnap the U.S. Olympic
Gymnastics team, flies them to the Devil's Island prison and incarcerates
them in metal cage right out of an episode of TV's campy Batman series
complete with a fail safe mechanisms designed to drown the gymnasts if the
terrorist's demands aren't met. McBride and his team launch an assault on
the prison island against extras left over from filming The Rock. Why
McBride would risk his life to rescue a bunch of irritating, whiny gymnasts
is anyone's guess.
Hollywood Hogan and Carl Weathers looking all spiffy in Shadow Warriors.
Grim-faced throughout, Hogan surrenders the spotlight to the vivacious
Shannon Tweed kung-fuing baddies in her bra and panties. Tweed's a hoot to
watch unclothed or otherwise as she's having a grand old time in not taking
her role too seriously. Besides the climatic rooftop battle, Hogan in
comparison is a boring grump. His unemotional demeanor drains the wit in
his one-liners ruining all the fun he could've had as Mike McBride. The
title of the film fits as Hogan is but a shadow of his dynamic squared
Rating: 1 / 5
The Movie Network replays Shadow Warriors on Friday October 23rd at 12:00
p.m. and 4:15 p.m., Saturday October 24th at 12:30 a.m. and Thursday
October 29th at 1:45 p.m., 4:30 p.m. and 11:25 p.m.
Hollywood Hogan (Hulk Hogan, Terry Bollea) Filmography
- 3 Ninjas: High Noon At Mega Mountain (1998) (as Dave Dragon)
- Shadow Warriors (as Mike McBride)
- Santa with Muscles (1996) (as Blake)
- Secret Agent Club, The (1996) (as Ray Chase)
- Spy Hard (1996) (as Steele's tag team partner)
- Thunder in Paradise (1994) (TV Series) (as R.J. "Hurricane" Spencer)
- Mr. Nanny (1993) (as Sean Armstrong)
- Suburban Commando (1991) (as Shep Ramsey)
- Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990) (as Himself)
- Happy Birthday, Bugs!: 50 Looney Years (1990) (TV) (as Himself)
- No Holds Barred (1989) (as Rip)
- Rocky III (1982) (as Thunderlips)