Hollywood Hogan retires
Hollywood Hogan arrives on the Tonight Show to announce his retirement from wrestling.
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By JOHN POWELL -- SLAM!
Sports
It wasn't Bobby "The Brain" Heenan or King Kong Bundy or "Nature Boy" Ric
Flair. Not even the nWo Wolf Pack could get the job done.
On national television last night, Hollywood (Hulk) Hogan himself killed
Hulkamania.
As a guest on Jay Leno's Tonight Show, Hogan (real name Terry Bollea)
announced he's leaving his days as a professional wrestler behind to pursue
the American presidency.
"I had to come to the crossroads here. I've accomplished everything I've
wanted to do in wrestling. My family is secure. I've had a great career. I
wanted to come on your show tonight and officially announce my retirement,"
Hogan told host Jay Leno, whom he wrestled previously this year at WCW's
Road Wild pay-per-view.
Praising World Championship Wrestling and Ted Turner for all they had done
for him, Hogan said he owed his loyal fans an explanation and chose the
Tonight Show as the perfect place to make his intentions public.
"All good things must come to an end. I had a great career. The fans have
been great. I love you guys and thanks for sticking with me. And this
really helps me segue into being the next president of the United States,"
Hogan commented opening the door for Leno to pose some serious questions
relating to the legitimacy of his political aspirations.
When asked if his retirement was indeed final, Hogan - like a true
politician - avoided giving a straight answer saying he'd still wrestle his
wife and that the hair transplant he and Leno joked about earlier wouldn't
be ready in time.
Hogan referred to ex-wrestler / commentator Jesse Ventura's victory in
Minnesota as his inspiration. Hogan believes his business dealings as a pro
wrestler have groomed him well for the hard decisions a president must make
on a daily basis. If elected, Hogan would put America's interests first.
"So who would be your running mate? Would you have Professor Tanaka or
somebody?," joked Leno snaring guffaws from the studio audience.
Hogan replied that he's still contacting political parties outside the
mainstream and would choose his running mate in the next few weeks.
The nine-time World Heavyweight Champion is looking forward to hopefully
running against former World Wrestling Federation stablemate Ventura in the
near future.
Jay Leno teases Hogan.
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"Well, I'd love to run against Jesse because that would be like really easy
pickings. I mean, everything that I've ever done against Jesse I've always
won. So, that would be a lot
of fun just to beat him one more time," said Hogan who is scheduled to
grace the cover of TV Guide next week.
"Would you be willing to challenge Hussein to a steel cage death match in
some neutral territory like the Bahamas?," asked Leno sarcastically.
"If it could save one American life...I'd fight him till I die," said the
former leader of WCW's New World Order wrestling gang.
Hogan: The Candidate
On the Clinton - Lewinsky scandal...
"I wouldn't make that mistake."
On his political opponents digging up his past...
"It's pretty much all in the open with me. We all make mistakes. Thank God
we learn from our mistakes. But that's what's so great about me. I'm beyond
this mid-life crisis that Clinton is going through right now. I'm modest
and I'm humble. I'd love to sleep in Abe Lincoln's bed."
Is he a Democrat or Republican?
"I think I'm right in the middle."
"Everything across the board has got to be for America."
Hogan's stand on taxes?
"A flat tax, brother."
"It would be good for everybody. There'd be enough money to pay all of our
debts."
"Sixteen percent but don't hold me to that."
On Iraq and Saddam Hussein....
"You know, I look at this thing as a big mistake. It's kinda like when
you're in the ring and you're wrestling, there's no substitute for victory.
I feel the first time we sent our men and women, the equipment, all the
money, the fuel...we shoulda taken the brother out the first time."