Fully Loaded recycles Raw material
By JOHN POWELL -- SLAM!
Wrestling
The Undertaker wears the crimson mask.
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The World Wrestling Federation has fallen into a severe slump.
Lacking any heel depth in their roster the federation has been compelled to
renew old feuds and perpetuate a McMahon - Austin angle that's months past
its expiration date. The WWF is running out of fresh ideas as last night's
Fully Loaded pay-per-view from Buffalo, New York, plainly shows.
The matches themselves were worked fine. Not too many complaints there. It
was the multitude of regurgitated angles torn from the weekly Raw Is War
program that exposed just how empty the WWF's creative gas tank really is.
Mr. Ass hits The Rock with a wooden club. Steve Austin gives Jeff Jarrett a
Stunner to clear him from the ring so he can cut a promo. The Undertaker
blindsides X-Pac. The Hardy Boys break Michael Hayes' cane over Bradshaw's
head. Al Snow begs for the Big Boss Man to put him out of his misery. Fans
have seen these angles before on Raw and it didn't cost them thirty bucks
of their hard-earned cash either.
For all intents and purposes, the main event First Blood match between The
Undertaker and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin was nothing but a highspot
mishmash of their most recent bouts.
Jim Ross had it right when he said..."This is a slugfest for the WWF
title". Relying more on boxing than actual wrestling, Austin and Taker
threw more punches than Evander Holyfield has in his whole career. Stop me
if any of this sounds vaguely familiar. Austin and Undertaker Pearl Harbor
each other backstage. Both are cut and need medical attention. Austin and
Taker brawl in the entrance way, in the crowd and the ringside area. They
bash each other into the steel retaining fences. Austin is clotheslined
over the fence and into the crowd. Stone Cold works on Undertaker's knee.
Taker prevents Austin from wrapping his leg around the steel post by
kicking him off into the security fence. A camera cable is used as a
garrote.
Austin is in need of a transfusion.
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Fans must be forgiven if they momentarily thought they had inadvertently
hit "Play" on a copy of Over The Edge in their VCRs. The one and
only difference between Fully Loaded and Over The Edge was that McMahon and Austin's
futures were on the line. If Austin won, McMahon would bow out of an active
role in the WWF. Translation: Vince is going on summer holiday. If Austin
lost, he could never again vie for the WWF World Heavyweight Title.
Thanks to X-Pac, McMahon oughta be packing his sun tan oil by now.
Angry at Taker's interference earlier in the evening, X-Pac did his version
of Rob Van Dam's VamDaminator kick on The Undertaker as The Man From The Darkside was about to take Stone Cold's head off with a steel chair. Shane McMahon ran into the ring. He was met
with a stiff chairshot by Austin. Stealing a page from Shawn Michaels'
book, Austin creamed Taker with a video camera causing him to bleed
profusely and lose the match. McMahon got a Stunner for trying to hit
Austin with a crutch. Then it was time for everyone to join the party.
Triple H jumped Austin. The Rock jumped Triple H. Taker and Austin brawled
again. Austin offered to shake McMahon's hand. Austin Stunned McMahon
again.
The next WWF pay-per-view is SummerSlam on August 22nd.
WWF Fully Loaded '99 Results
The Undertaker attacks Austin on Sunday Night Heat. Austin needs
stitches to close the cut in his head.
McMahon cuts a promo guaranteeing that Stone Cold will lose the belt.
Edge (champion) Vs Jeff Jarrett (challenger) (WWF Intercontinental
Title Match)
Edge enters through the crowd and is announced as the new champ.
Stills are shown from the Toronto house show on Saturday where Edge
captured the gold.
At 11:14, the lights go out. It's a blood bath by Gangrel. The house
lights turn back on and Gangrel is down on the floor with Edge standing
over him smiling.
Edge and Jarrett punch each other. The momentum sends Edge into the
ropes. He bumps into Debra knocking her off the apron. Edge looks to see if
Debra is okay. Gangrel socks him in the jaw. Jarrett gets the pin.
Austin rushes the ring and Stuns Jarrett. Austin tells the crowd he is
on the hunt for the Undertaker.
Winner: ...and new WWF Intercontinental Champion...Jeff Jarrett at
13 minutes and 20 seconds
.
Match Rating: 7 / 10.
The Acolytes (challengers) Vs The Hardy Boys (champions) (WWF World
Tag Team Title Match)
As "Hardcore" Chris Gramlich astutely pointed out, the Hardy Boys are
like "mini Sabus". They take some vicious bumps in this match. Kudos to
them. The Hardys hit Bradshaw with Hayes' cane. Bradshaw doesn't go down.
The Acolytes double Powerbomb Hayes and get the 1-2-3.
Winner: ... and new WWF World Tag Team Champions...The Acolytes at
10 minutes and 59 seconds.
Match Rating: 6 / 10.
D'Lo Brown (challenger) Vs Median (champion) (WWF European Title Match)
D'Lo splats Dennis (Once-A-Godwinn-Always-A-Godwinn) Knight with the
Low Down (a frog splash) to once again become the pride and joy of Helsinki.
Winner: ...and new WWF European Champion....D'Lo Brown at seven
minutes even.
Match Rating: 3 / 10.
Al Snow (champion) Vs Big Boss Man (challenger) (WWF Hardcore Title
Match)
Boss Man leaves Al Snow hanging.
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WWF still can't do ECW. Al Snow cuts a promo asking someone to stop
Head's screaming over the spike driven into her head. Snow looks like he
hasn't slept in a week.
The backstage camera work bites. Snow wants Boss Man to bring the pain
on. Brawling outside on a roadway, Snow and Boss Man almost get "run over"
by a planted car.
Across the street, Boss Man handcuffs Snow to a fence and works him
over with a retractable, steel billy club. Boss Man puts a boot over Snow's
throat to pin him.
Winner: ..and new WWF Hardcore Champion...The Big Boss Man at 10
minutes and 30 seconds.
Match Rating: 3 / 10.
Kane Vs The Big Show
A daily workout schedule would be of service to The Big Show. He can't
go three minutes without looking like he's gonna pass out. At the beginning
of the match, The Big Show gorilla presses Kane clear over the top rope to
the floor below. Yowch!
Bob Holly - the special guest ref - shot blocks Kane from behind. The
Big Show Chokeslams Kane. Holly slaps a three count that's faster than the
speed of light.
X-Pac sticks his nose in. Undertaker chokeslams X-Pac. The Undertaker
and The Big Show pound on Kane. The Undertaker drapes an unconscious X-Pac
over Kane.
Winner: The Big Show at 8 minutes and 18 seconds.
Match Rating: 2 / 10.
Austin catches up with The Undertaker cutting him open.
Ken Shamrock Vs Steve Blackman (Iron Circle Match)
Takes place in an underground parking lot. The cars are in a circle
with their headlights on. WWF wrestlers (Droz, Prince Albert, The
Godfather..etc) chant, drum on the cars and beep the horns as Shamrock and
Blackman go at it.
Blackman swings a tire iron. Shamrock dodges it. Blackman smashes a
car window.
Shamrock misses a punch putting his fist through a window.
Shamrock chokes out Blackman with a steel chain shouting..."So, you
like to play with weapons!".
Winner: Ken Shamrock at 3 minutes and 57 seconds.
Match Rating: 1 / 10.
Billy Gunn, Chyna Vs Road Dogg, X-Pac (DX Trademark Match)
I'll say it again, I don't care if it's the make-believe world of
wrestling or not, there is just something utterly disgusting about male
grapplers beating on women. Don't men in the biz have any sense of honour
or responsibility these days? I am really beginning to wonder.
Road Dogg Pumphandle Slams Gunn for the victory.
Winners: Road Dogg and X-Pac at 11 minutes and 36 seconds
.
Match Rating: 4 / 10.
Triple H Vs The Rock (Leather Strap Match)
Another consummate effort by both young guns.
Chyna jaws with the official. Miavia executes The Rock Bottom for a
clear pinfall but there's no ref. Gunn wallops Rock with the wooden club.
The Rock kicks out. Miavia drops The People's Elbow. Gunn pulls The Rock
off of Triple H from outside the ring. Gunn is Rock Bottomed. Triple H
Pedigrees The Rock.
Winner: Triple H at 19 minutes and 23 seconds
.
Match Rating: 7 / 10.
The Undertaker (challenger) Vs Steve Austin (champion) (WWF World
Heavyweight Title - First Blood Match)
Winner: ...and still WWF World Heavyweight Champion...Steve Austin
at 16 minutes even.
Match Rating: 3 / 10.
Total Event Time: 2 hours and 45 minutes.
Overall Event Rating: 3 / 10.
