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   December 22, 2014



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COMMENT





Total Divas: Somebody doesn't want to be called Mama
By BOB KAPUR - SLAM! Wrestling


Brie Bella is looking at bridal magazines because her and Daniel Bryan's wedding is a couple of months away. The two practice their wedding kiss, and it's clear that Brie will be a total Bridezilla when the time comes.

Elsewhere, Summer Rae tells Eva Marie how depressed she is because one of her exes just got engaged. She's 30 and single and wants a relationship. At Summer's prompting, Eva agrees to have her husband Johnathan find a man for Summer Rae.

Naomi and Jimmy Uso wake up, and he wants some morning delight, but she says no because she didn't take her birth control pill. Jimmy refuses to put on a "love sleeve" (as she calls it), even though she's worried about bearing his third child. He says "Uce", but she says "No" and leaves the bed.

At breakfast, Summer tells all of the girls about her loneliness, because she's the only Diva that's single. Eva suggests Summer go after Fandango, while Ariane says by all means, it's fine to mess around with the Superstars. Summer says she will only do it if there is a chance for something long-term -- she's not interested in just a fling. Brie tells her that she and Bryan got together because their romance blossomed from an on-screen storyline.

At Raw, Summer and Fandango take on Santino and Emma. Summer thinks that her in-ring chemistry with Fandango could translate into an out-of-ring romance. She starts flirting with him after their match backstage, albeit awkwardly, and asks him out.

Brie is out shopping for wedding dresses with her mom and cousin, and she's upset that Nikki isn't there to help her select one. She finally finds one that's great, and Nikki finally shows up. Nikki seems to be jealous that Brie is planning a wedding and she's not.

On their way to a show, Eva and the Funkadactyls are talking. Eva predicts that Nattie will be upset when Lana debuts because she's a pretty blonde. Naomi realizes she forgot to take her pill again. She's been doing research on a new type of birth control which involves an injection that will keep you kid-free for three years. Of course, she hasn't talked to Jimmy Uso about this idea, because she feels it's her body, so it's her decision.

The Bellas are out shopping for bridesmaid dresses, and Nikki wants a dress that shows off her chest, much to Brie's dismay. Brie wants her to wear something more conservative, and Nikki's not happy about it.

Later, Naomi and her mom go visit her woman-parts doctor to get the birth control surgery. Naomi tells her mom that Jimmy doesn't know that she's coming, and her mom is surprised by this. Her mom tries to talk some sense into her, but Naomi is insistent that she doesn't want babies - right now, she wants to focus on her career. The operation is quick and painless, though it requires Naomi to tape up her arm.

Summer and Fandango are out on a date, and he takes her to his favourite dive bar. Though he loses man points for drinking a margarita. She flirts some more, but he is clearly not interested in her advances. He basically shuts her down, and it's kind of sad watching her desperate attempts.

At a gym, Nikki and John Cena are working out, when Brie and Bryan show up. Brie wants to talk dresses and reception seating plans, but Nikki stops that noise. She makes up a rule that while in the gym, there can be no wedding talk. Another week, another stupid Bella fight.

The date's over, and Summer and Fandango are in the car going home. Summer basically invites herself over to his place for a nightcap and a night swim. After another drink, she dives in for some macking. But, just as they start, Summer realizes that there's no spark there, and she stops. They basically agree to stay friends but not to mess it up with anything more than that.

Driving home from the gym, Brie tells Bryan that she's so upset with Nikki for being rude to her during the workout that she's thinking of finding a new maid of honour.

The next morning, Summer and Eva |Marie are working out, and an embarrassed Summer is trying to keep what happened with Fandango on the down-low. Naomi joins them, and the girls see her armband and correctly guess why Naomi is wearing it. Jimmy Uso shows up, sees the armband, and asks Naomi about it. She tells him about the operation, and he's not pleased that she went ahead and did this without talking to him about it.

Brie is at Nikki's place and she wants Nikki's help in folding invitations. Nikki is still being rude about the whole wedding planning thing and the two get into another fight. Brie tells her to forget about being her maid of honour and leaves.

The next day, Brie is with her mom who, in catching up, asks about Nikki. Brie tells her mom that Nikki hasn't been supporting her as much as Brie wants her to. Mama Bella says that Nikki is likely shutting down because she's jealous, as there are no wedding plans in her future. Brie realizes that this may be the case, and feels bad for Nikki.

Before a show, Summer and Fandango are talking about the plans for the night's show. He starts teasing her about what happened, and they agree that their relationship should remain platonic and professional.

Naomi and Jimmy talk about her decision to get the birth control surgery. She apologizes for going behind his back, as she realizes that in a marriage, they should be making decision jointly. He forgives her, and they make out.

Meanwhile, Brie finds Nikki and they hash things out. They make up, even though they're still kind of bitchy to each other.

Bob Kapur has no kids that he knows of. E-mail him the paternity test results at bobkapur@hotmail.com.