Raw: Punk and Heyman have a heart-to-heart and a hug
NICK TYLWALK - SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight on Raw: you think there won't be repercussions from Brock Lesnar's assault on CM Punk and Mark Henry's swerve on John Cena? Friend, you must not have been watching this show for very long. Let's get to it from Charleston, South Carolina as Raw is live once again on USA.
Daniel Bryan comes to the ring to clear the air about something. Namely, that he wasn't an extra in the Hobbit. As proof that the isn't the weak link, Bryan vows to continue challenging Randy Orton until he gets a win by pinfall or submission. Naturally, that gets an in-person response from The Viper, who tells him to shut up and fight.
Match 1 Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton
These guys go right at each other. Maybe too much, as they brawl to the outside and the match has to be halted as the legion of referees comes down to separate them.
After some commercials, we learn that the match ended as a double DQ. Bryan demands a match with Orton from Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox or else he wants to take on Maddox. He gets his wish, but Vince McMahon shows up a few seconds later. The Chairman mentions that some people think Bryan is an embarrassment due to his small stature and mental state, but he leaves it to Vickie and Brad to figure out what he thinks.
Match 2 Team Rhodes Scholars vs. Sheamus and Christian
Did I mention how good it is to see Christian back? I think I'm going to do that every week. He takes the abuse that leads to a hot tag to Sheamus, and both of the Scholars end up the worse for wear. Rhodes eats a Brogue Kick after a botched tag, and the good guys win this one.
Vickie stops to talk to Punk, but he only wants to know where Paul Heyman and Lesnar are. And he wants to be notified if either man shows up. Probably not to discuss last night's episode of Mad Men either.
Match 3 Kaitlyn vs. Aksana
Because you demanded it. Didn't you? The match is interrupted early when Kaitlyn's music hits again, and AJ comes out to mock her dressed in a muscle suit, wig and something approximating her ring gear. It's not enough of a distraction to keep Kaitlyn from winning with a spear, but AJ keeps her parody going with Big E Langston playing the part of the fictional secret admirer.
Another week, another Wyatt Family video. That rocking chair though... And we see a full recap of Henry's fake retirement from last week.
Match 4 Chris Jericho vs. Alberto Del Rio
Of course we get a commercial break early in this contest, returning to find Jericho in the groove for the first time. Del Rio catches him with a kick to the back of the head though, sending Y2J down to the floor. The referee counts as JBL seems confused about whether or not this is a title match (it isn't). Jericho returns but ends up right in a submission hold. Del Rio throws him around and into the corner, but he ends up bouncing off the ropes for a forearm shot and almost steals one from the champ with a bridging pin. Del Rio's shoulder is sent into the post, but he still manages to shrug off attempts at a Codebreaker and the Walls of Jericho. Alberto gets a near fall after another kick, but a running bulldog prevents the cross armbreaker. His second try works, and Jericho looks to be in bad shape in the middle of the ring. But he manages to flip Del Rio into the Walls, forcing Ricardo Rodriguez to come to the rescue. The match is thrown out, Dolph Ziggler comes down, and there's momentary chaos. Ricardo gets a Codebreaker and Ricardo receives a Zig Zag, and after a short staredown, Ziggler hits his finisher on Jericho too.
Now it's Triple H's turn to drop in on Vickie and Brad. He wants to know why he's heard a rumor that the Bryan-Orton match has been canceled, and he reminds them that what the WWE Universe thinks is the most important thing. The Game keeps going, suggesting that the fans get to vote on a stipulation.
Next up is the unveiling of the cover of WWE 2K14. Or maybe not, as Guerrero interrupts Jerry Lawler's announcement to tell the fans about voting for the Bryan-Orton stipulation. Anyway, there's going to be a contest to design a cover for the new game, and Vickie shows hers, featuring Vince, Steph and HHH. How about the real cover? The Rock is on it. Well that was the safest possible choice, I suppose.
Match 5 Ryback vs. The Great Khali
Khali may be the one guy who can stand up to Ryback in a head-to-head collision, and he handles himself very nicely for a few minutes. Yet Ryback is able to get the big man up on his shoulders, and a Shell Shock brings this match to an abrupt end.
Cena comes down the ramp to address Henry's actions from last Monday. He talks the history of the WWE Championship and the underhanded things that men have done to try to claim the title. But the belt has to be earned, not bought or taken, and Cena isn't planning on allowing the World's Strongest Man to earn it in the ring. After the promo ends, there's another video easing the return of Rob Van Dam.
Match 6 Tons Of Funk vs. 3MB vs. The Usos WWE Tag Team Title Number One Contenders Match
This is a short match considering how many men are involved in it. The Usos win, and The Shield comes out to... intimidate them, I guess.
Now we see why that match was so short. Some time was needed to promote The Call, out on Blu Ray and DVD now. It's a funny bit with Halle Berry, David Otunga and Kane, but one we've seen before.
To a predictable chorus of boos, Heyman enters the ring. He promises answers for Punk if he'll come down to the ring. CM obliges him, angrily starting into a history lesson that goes back to Paul's time running the company's developmental territory, and how Heyman stuck up for him when corporate types were asking for Punk to be held down or let go. Punk switches gears and tells Heyman to deliver a message to Lesnar, promising to do whatever it takes to take Brock down. He follows up with a furious demand for Paul to tell the truth about whether or not Lesnar was sent after him at Heyman's command. With fans chanting Tell the truth, Heyman denies knowing that Brock was in the building, deflecting the blame for the attack back on Punk under the guise of professional jealousy. Paul doubles down by declaring his love for his supposed best friend. Is Punk buying it? It appears that way as he apologizes for doubting Heyman and offers a hug.
Match 7 CM Punk vs. Darren Young
The story here is that Punk might be shaken up enough mentally from that last segment that Young could have a chance at the upset. For a while, it looks like that might be the case, as Young gets several near falls. But as soon as Punk gets his wits about him, the Anaconda Vice gets a quick tap out. Titus O'Neill tries a post-match assault, but Curtis Axel heads down to lend CM a hand. That leads to a heated discussion between Punk, Heyman and Axel, with Paul saying there was no other way because it was two-on-one.
Which McMahon hasn't bothered Vickie yet? Oh right, Stephanie. She tells Guerrero she's going to announce the participants in this year's Money in the Bank Ladder Match. And the lucky contestants are: Punk, Bryan, Sheamus, Orton, Christian, Kane and RVD. In the back, both Ryback and Jericho barge into Vickie's office demanding title shots in Henry's place. Instead, they end up booked to face each other at the pay-per-view.
Heyman informs Punk that he and Axel are going to tag together to take on the Prime Time Players next week. He's not real happy about that. Out in the ring, Henry claims he's had Quentin Tarantino, Steven Spielberg and Tyler Perry approach him about acting. He scoffs at the people who have told him to do things the right way throughout his career, and he says that he's coming home as WWE champion.
More Wyattt Family. That is all. #OKWeGetIt
The people have spoken, and the stipulation for the main event is a Street Fight. Let's get it.
Main Event Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton Street Fight
We're starting and ending the show the same way, except this second go-round won't end in a count out or double DQ. The fight stays in the ring through a commercial break, but will that continue? Orton sets up a table in one corner, but Bryan prevents it from coming into play right away. He hammers Orton with kicks until he runs into a chair thrown into his face. Randy covers but only gets two. The battle goes to the apron, where Orton finds himself power bombed through a table. Bryan drags his foe back into the squared circle and goes nuts with kendo stick shots. Those end when Orton is able to suplex Bryan over his head and through the table he set up earlier. Still no three count. A dropkick has Bryan in trouble again, but he punches his way out of danger on the top turnbuckle. Orton counters a top rope move with a power bomb, but it's still not enough for a win. An RKO seems to be looming, but Bryan uses a backslide to earn a near fall. The kendo stick softens Orton up for the No Lock, and Bryan uses the stick to add extra pain to the hold. Orton resists briefly before tapping out, and Bryan has his big victory. Randy offers a handshake after the match even though he's clearly displeased with the outcome. Is this the end of Bryan's inferiority complex storyline? We'll see next week!
Nick Tylwalk has a full time job, several freelance writing gigs and two kids, so he doesn't have time to figure out the Wyatt Family videos. Help with the analysis by following Nick on Twitter or Google+ or send him an email.