SLAM! Sports SLAM! Wrestling
   July 26, 2014



News & Rumours
Bios
Obits
Canadian Hall of Fame
WrestleMania 30
WrestleMania 30 photos
Video
Movie Database
Minority Mat Report
Columnists
Features
Results Archive
PPV Reviews
SLAM! Wrestling store
On Facebook
On Twitter
Send Feedback




Photo Galleries

Raw in Miami


Tragos/Thesz Hall of Fame inductions


WWE Battleground


ROH in Detroit


Smackdown & Main Event in Ottawa


Raw in Montreal


WWE in Kingston







SCOREBOARD
PHOTO GALLERY
VIDEO GALLERY
COMMENT





Smackdown: Parting is such sweet sorrow
By DAVE HILLHOUSE -- SLAM! Wrestling


Tonight, one of the most promising tag teams in a while severs ties, a returning World Champion shows some renewed energy, and Ricardo Rodriguez continues to get stuck in between an angry Alberto Del Rio and Big Show.

Outside in the parking lot, Alberto Del Rio awaits the arrival of Big Show, brandishing a pipe of threatening significance.

Inside the ring we go. Booker T is a former six-time, six-time world champion, not-so-legendary commentator, and a pretty decent GM, but he doesn’t exactly swing for the fences with his ideas for Elimination Chamber selections. He gathers The Great Khali, Randy Orton, Kane, Daniel Bryan, Sheamus, and Dolph Ziggler. Thank goodness Jack Swagger is here to Save_us.

That’s right, the All-American American is back and he wants in the Chamber match. Booker T says he’ll have to earn it. Ziggler, for his part, pipes up and says “thanks, but no thanks” to the Chamber match and will take his chances with Money in the Bank. Before he leaves, Booker T gives him a match against Del Rio tonight.

First, though, Booker calls down someone else who wants in on the Chamber: Rey Mysterio, along with Sin Cara, for a tag match.

Match #1 – Sin Cara & Rey Mysterio vs. Team Hell No (Kane & Daniel Bryan)

Perhaps not surprisingly, the theme of the early part of the match is that Mysterio and Cara do well against Bryan, but are largely ineffective against Kane. Still, Bryan does dodge a 619 and block Sin Cara’s attempt at a top-rope hurricanrana, but once Mysterio knocks Kane out of contention, Bryan falls prey to a 619 and a dime dropped.

Winners via pinfall: Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara

Matt Striker heads outside to ask Del Rio what’s up, but the champ says he just needs some fresh air.

Match #2 – Jinder Mahal (w/ Heath Slater & Drew McIntyre) vs. The Great Khali (w/ Natalya & Hornswoggle)

It takes just as long to type out the names of the participants as it does to play out this match. Mahal takes a Punjabi Plunge.

Winner via pinfall: The Great Khali

Backstage, Booker T and Teddy Long are impressed by Khali’s performance. Booker expresses his surprise by Swagger’s return, and Long lets slip that it was his idea.

Some of the worst news of 2013 thus far, and I predict it will be the worst news for the tag team division for the rest of the year, comes from Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow. They are foregoing Rhodes Scholars to pursue their solo careers. Starting, apparently, now.

Match #3 – Damien Sandow vs. Sheamus

Seeking revenge for being put through a table on Raw, Sandow comes out swinging with a neckbreaker, knee drop, and an Elbow of Disdain, a move so electrifying it will probably win him a world championship someday.

Not today, though, as the proceedings are interrupted by The Shield attacking Sheamus.

Winner via disqualification: Sheamus

Match #4 – Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

These two must be able to sleepwalk through a match together by now. A big Barrett boot gives the Intercontinental Champion an early advantage before Orton’s greatest hits, sandwiched around Barrett running his Bull Hammer elbow into the ringpost, gives Orton the win.

Winner via pinfall: Randy Orton

After the break, Wade Barrett is with Matt Striker, perhaps about to lament having such a terrible week, when he sees Bo Dallas and ambushes him from behind, leaving him laid out.

Match #5 – Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger’s slicked-back hair now makes him look like Biff from Back to the Future, but after he became George McFly’s whipping boy. Kingston looks to play a whipping boy here, as he’s tossed around without mercy. He does come back with a Boom Drop, but misses Trouble in Paradise on the outside, landing his shin on the announcer’s table.

Seems like a good chance for an ankle lock, and Kingston has to submit.

Winner via submission: Jack Swagger

JBL thinks that was one of the most impactful returns he’s ever seen. He should probably see more impactful returns. Outside, some security guards are trying to convince Del Rio to drop the pipe, but he’s not having it. Now, here comes a bus, presumably with Big Show.

Del Rio lies in waiting, and then, after all that, misses his first best shot as Big Show sees him coming. They scrap on top of a car with Del Rio so incensed he can only speak in Spanish. Big Show manages to find a car and take off.

After the break, as Del Rio collects himself and preps for the match, he convinces Ricardo Rodriguez to stay in the back. That will probably backfire.

Match #6 – Dolph Ziggler (w/ AJ & Big E Langston) vs. Albert Del Rio

Why can’t babyfaces arrive in fancy cars? With seemingly no heat between these two, they show what a good match they can put together. Langston and AJ conspire to distract the ref and knock Del Rio off the ropes before a moonsault, and soon afterwards Langston is ejected from ringside.

Del Rio responds superbly with a superplex and superkick to a kneeling Ziggler, but Ziggler responds to a cross arm-breaker attempt with a leg lariat. Del Rio returns the favour by countering the Zig-Zag into his submission hold for the win.

Winner via submission: Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio celebrates but Big Show gets his attention on the big screen, holding Rodriguez by the neck. After admonishing him to never attempt an attack like that again, Big Show KOs Rodriguez. By the time Del Rio makes it to the back, Big Show is gone and his buddy is lights out.

Dave Hillhouse is a screenwriter and teacher, and can’t fathom why the WWE starts a feud between wrestlers by putting them in a match with a clean finish.