December 14, 2012
Impact: Services of Aces & Eights, sold to ...
By DAVE HILLHOUSE -- SLAM! Wrestling
A rematch from Final Resolution, a TNA stalwart who's had a change of heart, and Aces & Eights explain their interference in the World Title match on Sunday. Plus, Hulk Hogan continues to do his impression of the guy you never want to learn is the father of the girl you're dating.
Bobby Roode is in the ring first, lamenting his poorly-spent money in trying to negotiate a partnership with Aces & Eights to get him the World Heavyweight Championship. The gang’s all here, and Devon informs Roode that somebody outbid (“outbidded”, actually, as Devon says) him for their services.
As D.O.C. and Devon ascend to the apron in a most threatening fashion, Jeff Hardy and James Storm rush the ring and chase them away. Backstage, Velvet Sky talks about good it felt to come back and how she’s itching to get into a match.
Match #1 – Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky
Sky slams Rayne’s head into each buckle in a corner, but Rayne returns the favour by thwacking Sky’s noggin on the mat repeatedly. Sky comes back with a win after a double-underhook facebuster.
Winner via pinfall: Velvet Sky
Back in the locker room, Kurt Angle goes all Wayne’s World with an abrasive product placement bit, offering Garett Bischoff and Wes Brisco an energy drink to ready themselves for a match.
There’s also some investigative reporting going on, as Daniels and Kazarian deny being the new business associates of Aces & Eights.
Match #2 – Robbie E & Robbie T vs. Wes Brisco & Garett Bischoff (w/ Kurt Angle)
Robbie T provides the early power with a slam and a bearhug on Brisco, but Robbie E misses an attack off the top rope and in comes Bischoff. Robbie T seems to have the answer for him, too, but Brisco makes a blind tag and launches in with a cross-body for the win.
Winners via pinfall: Brisco & Bischoff
As the killer B’s celebrate, An Ace (or was it an Eight?) runs in and clips Angle’s knee. After the break, Angle’s knee is in a trainer’s hands and he’s in considerable pain.
From earlier this week, Joseph Park is down at Ohio Valley Wrestling, meeting Danny Davis and getting an initial work-out of ring-laps and sit-ups that makes him puke. Park, not Davis.
Back in Brooke Hogan’s office, Tara arrives to let her know there shouldn’t be any hard feelings if her boyfriend Jesse Godderz beats Brooke’s boyfriend Bully Ray tonight. Brooke seems not to care.
Elsewhere, Kenny King promises a better result from his Final Resolution rematch against Rob Van Dam tonight.
Match #3 – James Storm & Jeff Hardy vs. D.O.C. & Masked Thug
Hardy has both opponents down and out early, diving on top of them out on the floor. Coming back from break, though, the champ has fallen on hard times as D.O.C. and the thug take turns tagging in and tagging Hardy for a very long time.
Storm finally tags and nearly gets a win with a cross-body off the top of his own. More masked thugs intervene, though, and finally Devon with the bat. The ref never calls for the bell, though, and Hardy and Storm dispose of all members of the club, with Hardy sealing the deal via Twist of Fate on the masked man.
Winners via pinfall: Jeff Hardy and James Storm
For some reason, this aggravates Devon so much that he reveals the mysterious business partner to be Austin Aries. Hardy and Storm are confused. So is Taz, who can’t believe that Aries “outbidded” Roode (uh–oh, that new word is trending). Backstage, Roode is livid that Aries scooped him. The man in question calls Hulk and Hogan demands an answer from him before the end of the night.
It’s midnight confessional time as AJ Styles gets a chance to speak his mind. He enters the ring with zero fanfare, but he does get a “You still got it” chant (isn’t that kind of insulting in a presumptuous way?).
Styles says he’s been taking care of everyone else, and has to get back of taking care of himself. He’s tired of always doing the right thing.
After the break, Dixie Carter stops Styles backstage and questions his speech. Styles hands her his shirt and walks off. Kazarian and Daniels are watching on a monitor and are tickled pink at the prospect of Styles leaving
Match #4 – Kenny King vs. Rob Van Dam (champion) – for the X Division Championship
More mutual respect between these two, but that never lasts for long. Proving that, King attacks RVD from behind as the champ does his “Rob ... Van ... Dam” bit, taking control of the match. Van Dam still has a few kicks up his sleeve, throwing himself with the third top-rope cross-body of the night. King rolls with it and gets his feet on the ropes for the sneaky win.
Winner via pinfall: Kenny King
Bully Ray wanders into Hogan’s office, wondering if he’s going to start trusting him. He isn’t. Bully Ray lets loose, saying there’s nothing going on, but if there were, Hogan has to get over it.
Match #5 – Jesse (w/ Tara) vs. Bully Ray
Really no time for formalities here, as Bully Ray is in quickly, throwing Jesse around as he pleases. Jesse tries running the ropes for an advantage but gets a boot to the head. Tara slips in the ring to beg for mercy, but after she gets spanked out of the ring Jesse attacks from behind.
Jesse maintains control for a while with a dropkick and clothesline, but he misses a leg drop and gets a cutter to send him packing.
Winner via pinfall: Bully Ray
Time for some answers, as Austin Aries is in the ring. This all goes back to when Hogan placed him on a team to fight Aces & Eights, which didn’t please Aries at all. He claims he will do anything to get the World Title back.
Well, Jeff Hardy emerges and offers him a shot at that very title next week. Inexplicably, Aries turns him down. Hardy replaces his offer with a punch to the head and a Twist of Fate. Will we have a championship match next week? You’ll have to tune in to find out.
Dave Hillhouse is a screenwriter and teacher, and has only ever outbidded anybody for stuff on eBay, never for biker gang protection.