SLAM! Sports SLAM! Wrestling
   November 23, 2014



News & Rumours
Bios
Obits
Canadian Hall of Fame
WrestleMania 30
WrestleMania 30 photos
Video
Movie Database
Minority Mat Report
Columnists
Features
Results Archive
PPV Reviews
SLAM! Wrestling store
On Facebook
On Twitter
Send Feedback




Photo Galleries

House of Hardcore VII


Signmania VIII


Beulah McGillicutty


Big Event 7 fan fest


Raw in Buffalo


SHIMMER tapings


Alexia Nicole







SCOREBOARD
PHOTO GALLERY
VIDEO GALLERY
COMMENT





Smackdown: Les Mizérables opens in Cleveland
By DAVE HILLHOUSE -- SLAM! Wrestling


Hey, if Mick Foley can publish a book with a play on Miz's name, then SLAM! Wrestling has every right to do the same. With such a short turn-around between Hell in a Cell and Survivor Series, hampered even more by the abrupt changing of the main event, it's up to Smackdown to try and generate some much needed traction going into Sunday. Big Show, Sheamus, and yes, The Miz, all play their part and put on a good show in Ohio.

Before anything else, we see Sheamus waiting in the parking lot for Big Show to arrive. He probably just wants to talk.

One thing that has become clearer over the past couple of weeks is why The Miz was positioned as the poster boy for Survivor Series. He opens the show in his hometown, officially displaying babyface qualities, and generally making the fans feel like they had a say in his transformation (presuming you trust the voting process on Monday Night Raw).

He welcomes Mick Foley to MTV, who uses the show to put together a team meeting. Here are the minutes: Kane and Daniel Bryan aren’t getting along, Kingston and Miz don’t like each other, and Orton doesn’t trust anybody on the team. Foley, meanwhile, might be wondering why he's still even involved with this storyline.

Team Ziggler steps out on the ramp to show their strength and unity (minus Cody Rhodes), but before long, Del Rio is questioning Ziggler’s leadership skills. Foley announces that he has GM duties tonight and divvies up the teams to face one another in various matches throughout the evening.

Match #1 – Damien Sandow vs. Kofi Kingston

It’s pink and purple against neon green, as Kingston displays a focused assault on Sandow’s left arm, with dropkicks and arm drags sprinkled in for good measure. Back from break, Sandow gets himself back in the game, scrambling away from Trouble in Paradise and picking up a clean-as-a-whistle pin after kicking Kingston’s knees out from under him.

Winner via pinfall: Damien Sandow

Sheamus gets psyched out, thinking every car’s arrival is bringing Big Show to his open discussion.

Match #2 – Eve, Alicia Fox, & Aksana vs. Natalya, Kaitlyn, & Layla

This must be the Divas’ consolation prize for not getting a Survivor Series contest. Layla assaults Aksana with ridiculous slaps and butt-drives. Kaitlyn gets the hot tag and rolls through Fox with a neckbreaker.

Winners via pinfall: Natalya, Kaitlyn, & Layla

After the break, Booker T confronts Sheamus in the parking lot, promising consequences if he doesn’t keep his Irish temper in check.

Match #3 – Randy Orton & The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler & Alberto Del Rio (w/ Ricardo Rodriguez)

The Miz’s debut as a hero is stalled while Orton suffers a double-team attack. Orotn fights his way out rather easily in the end, tagging Miz with a shove to the chest. Miz deals with Ziggler without issue, until Del Rio knocks him off the top rope all the way to the floor, so it’s Miz’s turn to absorb punishment before bringing Orton in again.

Orton delivers the greatest hits and readies the RKO for Del Rio, but Miz tags himself in and finishes the affair with a Skull-Crushing Finale instead.

Winners via pinfall: Randy Orton & The Miz

Miz makes the mistake of gloating in Orton’s face then turning to pander to the crowd. Orton gets his RKO after all on Miz, much to the delight of the duplicitous fans.

After the break, Sheamus power-struts to the ring and demands that Big Show comes face him. The champ steps out and, after a little verbal jousting, Sheamus charges up the ramp. Booker T doesn’t dig that, sucka, and he blocks the redhead, insisting that Smackdown isn’t lawless like Raw.

Booker insists that Sheamus leave, allowing Big Show to grin and head backstage. After the break, Big Show meets up with Booker and the champ tries a “best buddy” routine with the GM. Booker responds by letting him know he’s in the main event for tonight. It won’t be against Sheamus, but he won’t say who (he hints at someone big, though, so there goes the mystery for most of us).

Match #4 – Kane vs. Wade Barrett

Every now and then I’m reminded of how big Barrett is, as he sizes up well against Kane. This match lasts about a minute before Team Ziggler interferes.

Winner via disqualification: Kane

Team Foley charges in next, and they dominate the ring. Notably missing, though, is The Miz, who strolls out after it all blows over to have a long-distance staredown with Orton.

Match #5 – Antonio Cesaro vs. Sin Cara

R-Truth provides guest commentary (as does, I suppose, Little Jimmy). Cara is doing all right until Cesaro launches him into the air for his newly-patented forearm, followed by a Neutralizer for the easy win.

Winner via pinfall: Antonio Cesaro

R-Truth stands up on the table and goes real old school by referencing Hacksaw Jim Duggan starting a U.S.A. chant to intimidate and fluster Cesaro. I guess it works as Truth enters the ring and the champ backs away up the ramp.

Sheamus, by the way, has been tweeting pictures of a gradually disappearing Guinness from one of Cleveland’s famous pubs. Now it’s all done.

Match #6 – Big Show vs. ???

Booker T had better not put this on his resume as a General Manager, as The Great Khali lumbers to the ring and popcorn sales in the arena suddenly increase. There are punches, there are kicks, there are chops. Big Show fights his way out of The Vice Grip and launches a KO Punch for the win.

Winner via pinfall: Big Show

Big Show heads immediately to the parking lot, scaring away Matt Striker after he dared try to get the champ’s thoughts. Somehow, Sheamus manages to take Big Show by surprise and it’s time for a parking lot brawl. Sheamus looks like the winner after this scuffle, but the real losers are those that park their cars anywhere near a WWE event.

Dave Hillhouse is a screenwriter and teacher, and still thinks the most dysfunctional Survivor Series teams were from the 1995 show when faces and heels were mixed up on both sides. HBK and Sid ... that was funny.