SLAM! Sports SLAM! Wrestling
   April 17, 2014



News & Rumours
Bios
Obits
Canadian Hall of Fame
WrestleMania 30
WrestleMania 30 photos
Video
Movie Database
Minority Mat Report
Columnists
Features
Results Archive
PPV Reviews
SLAM! Wrestling store
On Facebook
On Twitter
Send Feedback




Photo Galleries

SHIMMER taping


The Ultimate Warrior


Raw in New Orleans


WrestleMania XXX Main Events


WrestleMania XXX Opening Half


WWE Hall of Fame Ceremony
WWE Hall of Fame Red Carpet


Make-A-Wish party







SCOREBOARD
PHOTO GALLERY
VIDEO GALLERY
COMMENT




RECENT PHOTO GALLERIES: SHIMMER taping
Ultimate Warrior | Raw in New Orleans | ROH Supercard of Honor VIII
WRESTLEMANIA XXX: Section | Photos

THE SCOOP: Visit our News & Rumours page.


Raw: Of punks and kings
By DAVE HILLHOUSE -- SLAM! Wrestling


Tonight, CM Punk and Jerry Lawler continue to bicker like a pair in couples’ therapy with apologies coming at a premium. Speaking of therapy, Daniel Bryan and Kane both return from anger management sessions to try out their new philosophies. Also, Triple H makes a decision ... sort of.

Jerry Lawler is the flag-bearer tonight, being the first in the ring and looking to air his grievances about his confrontation with CM Punk last week. In fact, he seeks an apology from the champ.

Punk, sporting a surprisingly Cena-esque haircut, does everything but apologize, instead running Lawler up, down, and sideways about his career, and walks away leaving Lawler with an open invitation to fight tonight. Lawler will think about it.

Match #1 – Jack Swagger vs. Ryback

Ryback’s entrance gets the crowd chanting “Feed me more”, confusing popcorn vendors all throughout the arena. Swagger gives it an All-American American effort effort, but Ryback’s Shell-Shocked running Samoan Drop puts Biff away.

Winner via pinfall: Ryback

Match #2 – Natalya vs. Layla

As the match is about the start, Vickie Guerrero descends and announces that she has an announcement and wants this match over with. She waits on the stairs impatiently as Layla escapes the Sharpshooter and drops Natalya with her Nasty Kick.

Winner via pinfall: Layla

Guerrero gets in the ring as Layla celebrates and shoos her away. Guerrero’s big announcement is that she’s really mad at AJ for her decision to put up Dolph Ziggler’s Money in the Bank contract in a match against Chris Jericho. She calls out the new deranged one, and AJ obliges and skips to the ring. She says nothing, but slaps and assaults Guerrero, chasing the shrieking manager back up the ramp.

We get a little DX promo, just in case Triple H retires and you’ve forgotten about his decorated career. Next is Daniel Bryan’s anger management session from last week, where he gets awfully upset at a kid who arriving in a goat’s mask. Bryan takes it personally what with the whole “goat-face” running insult, but it’s all a misunderstanding and Bryan just looks, well, angry.

Lawler grabs a mic and insists that he will not back down from Punk and will fight the champ tonight; Josh Matthews is feeling better and takes Lawler’s place beside Michael Cole.

Match #3 – John Cena vs. The Miz

Cena has the answers to the Miz’s offense early on, but the must-see corner clothesline of the Intercontinental Champ turns the tide. A back-and-forth sequence sees Cena catch a running Miz and lock in the STF, with The Miz reaching the ropes and delivering a solid DDT and a side-slam that’s pretty darn close to being a Rock Bottom. Miz misses a second corner clothesline and that’s all she wrote as Cena cues up the greatest hits and Miz has his attitude adjusted.

Winner via pinfall: John Cena

Michael Cole displays the Twitter Poll options for fans to decide on the Punk/Lawler stipulations: Tables, Cage, or No DQ.

There’s another clip from Bryan’s therapy session, and he seems to be making some emotional progress until Kane shows up to take part in the session. This, of course, upsets Bryan, but Kane just calmly takes a seat and really doesn’t look out of place (excepting the wrestling outfit complete with Iron Man Mark 1 mask).

Match #4 – Heath Slater vs. Santino Marella

Slater’s fortune continues to free-fall as The Cobra strikes, in spite of the distraction provided by Aksana’s appearance up on the ramp.

Winner via pinfall: Santino Marella

Match #5 – Brodus Clay (w/ Naomi & Cameron) & Sin Cara vs. Damien Sandow & Cody Rhodes

Sandow and Rhodes express mutual admiration on their way to the ring. The match actually starts during commercials, during which time the heels take the hammer and have Sin Cara at their mercy. Clay eventually finds his way in, though, and answers Rhodes’ Beautiful Disaster with a headbutt and splash for the win.

Winners via pinfall: Brodus Clay & Sin Cara

Back in last week’s anger management class, Kane is persuaded to remove his (outer) mask and open up about his childhood (which Bryan insists is a bad idea). Hearing Kane list his psychotic resume is actually pretty amusing.

Match #6 – Daniel Bryan vs. R-Truth (w/ Kofi Kingston & Little Jimmy)

Bryan is restraing himself on his way to the ring, avoiding confrontation with the fans. He gets a fist-bump from R-Truth and has one for Little Jimmy, too, but before long the fight has spilled outside and R-Truth starts a “Yes” chant with the house mic. Bryan loses focus and is counted out while yelling at a fan.

Winner via psychological torment (and count-out): R-Truth

Time to sit back and listen as Triple H comes to the ring to deliver his soliloquy on retirement. He never wanted to be the guy that hangs on to long, and says that Brock Lesnar has made him ask himself if he’s done. He thanks the fans, but doesn’t have an answer for them at this point, accepting nonetheless a long ovation.

After the break, Chris Jericho’s music heralds Dolph Ziggler’s arrival for a tag match, with the show-off still gloating over having chased Jericho from the WWE. Guerrero is not with him.

Match #7 – Dolph Ziggler & Alberto Del Rio (w/ Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. Randy Orton & Sheamus

Orton has no trouble with Ziggler opening the bout, but the return from commercials sees Del Rio owning the Viper. A double-tag works out poorly for Ziggler as Sheamus is all Irish temper. Ziggler and Rodriguez try a little sneak attack as the latter slides in the briefcase, but Orton makes the save with a backbreaker on Ziggler to set up a Brogue Kick.

Winners via pinfall: Randy Orton & Sheamus

Backstage, Lawler is insisting to Cena that he fight this match alone; Cena nods in acquiescence.

Match #8 – Zack Ryder vs. David Otunga

The revolving door beside Michael Cole continues as Kane takes a seat at the announcer’s table, sending Matthews running for the hills. Otunga looks impressive in the match with Ryder getting in but one offensive maneuver; however, that one move is a Rough Ryder and it wins the match.

Winner via pinfall: Zack Ryder

Kane, who has not said a single word, enters the ring as Ryder foolishly celebrates with his back to the monstrous bully. Kane grabs him and readies a chokeslam, but switches his aggression to Otunga and Ryder escapes watching the lawyer receive the slam instead.

After the break, Matthews is in the ring to announce the match stipulation for Punk and Lawler: and it’s a steel cage match. Whew, good thing they had a steel cage hanging above the ring, because that could have been embarrassing. AJ also makes an announcement: Cena gets a shot at Punk at Night of Champions.

Match #9 – CM Punk vs. Jerry Lawler

Punk, as promised on Twitter earlier on, opens his arms to allow Lawler the first punch. Lawler delivers and knocks the champ to the mat. Things turn into a walk in the park for Punk for a while after that, though, until Punk is run into the cage and blood starts oozing from his head. That apparently is enough for the champ, and he locks in the Anaconda Vice for the tap-out win.

Winner via submission: CM Punk

Now, for Punk’s promise that he will leave Lawler humiliated tonight, he goes under the ring for some accessories and gets a chain to secure the door. He wraps Lawler up in a chinlock and again demands to be acknowledges as the best in the world.

The King refuses and eventually Cena arrives to break the stalemate. The cage is lifted enough for Cena to slide in and Punk escapes, with their confrontation set for Night of Champions.

Dave Hillhouse is a screenwriter and teacher, and heard Michael Cole say the word wrestling. Takes some of the rebelliousness away from Punk saying it, doesn’t it?