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   October 20, 2014



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Smackdown: Everybody Loves Rey
By DAVE HILLHOUSE -- SLAM! Wrestling


San Diego welcomes Rey Mysterio back to Smackdown after the masked marvel returned on Raw. Where, though, is Mysterio’s Batman-inspired outfit? Also, Dolph Ziggler shows that he has a quick trigger finger on that Money in the Bank briefcase, and Christian plays Dr. Phil for Daniel Bryan and AJ.

Mysterio is out first, returning to the scene of the crime in the same arena where he was injured one year ago. His welcome back speech doesn’t last long as Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez cut him short, ordering him to leave the ring. Mysterio refuses, and someone else has something to say: Dolph Ziggler.

Mr. Money in the Bank (along with Mrs. MITB Vickie Guerrero) has an issue with how Del Rio interfered with Ziggler’s plans to cash in his contract last Sunday. Eventually, they turn to gang up on Mysterio but Sheamus arrives to level the playing field –- sending the heels scuttling away.

Match #1 – Primetime Players (Titus O’Neil & Darren Young, w/ A.W.) vs. Hunico & Camacho vs. Primo & Epico (w/ Rosa Mendes) vs. Kofi Kingston & R-Truth

Not sure what the point is here –- it’s a non-title match, yet the champions’ involvement precludes the stipulation of granting a number-one contender’s spot. Hunico impresses against Primo & Epico before all players, even those not ready for prime time, leap into the ring for some action.

Coming back from break, the champs are beating up on Camacho and getting cheered on by Mendes? Soon, though, O’Neil is tossing Kingston around like garbage, and Young brings Primo down off the top rope with a kind of Codebreaker.

Winners via pinfall: The Primetime Players

As the winners depart, Big Show storms the ring and delivers his least impressive group beatdown yet, putting a hurting on those that were already hurt. He takes the mic and says “And, what?” before shrugging and making his exit.

Match #2 – Damien Sandow vs. Zack Ryder

Sandow accosts the crowd as Ryder approaches the ring for supporting this “Brainless Broski”, then hands Ryder a one-sided defeat.

Winner via pinfall: Damien Sandow

Next up, let’s peep in on the latest would-be newlyweds of the WWE, Daniel Bryan and AJ, as Christian welcomes them to his talk show. They have been hard at work planning their wedding just one week away, but Christian peppers them and the audience with questions and speculations about their certainty.

AJ is feeling vexed and slaps Christian, so the host feels that this is a good time to let Bryan know that the Peep Show is done and there’s a match happening...

Match #3 – Daniel Bryan (w/ AJ) vs. Kane

Bryan lands a few kicks off the bat, but one return kick from Kane changes the whole scene. After several more kicky maneuvers, Bryan sends a charging Kane over the ropes beside AJ. As Bryan confers with his fiancée, Kane attacks from behind and beats Bryan all around the ringside appliances. As the fight returns to the mat, AJ interjects and leaps off the top turnbuckle, trying a sleeper hold on Kane.

Winner via disqualification: Kane

Kane still manages a chokeslamon Bryan, then peels AJ off and watches the happy couple head up the ramp to smooch. After the break, Heath Slater is out in the ring explaining why his luck is about to change by coming back to Smackdown. Not really, though.

Match #4 – Heath Slater vs. Animal

Too bad John Laurinaitis isn’t around to watch this one. Animal delivers a scoop slam and drops an elbow for the win.

Winner via pinfall: Animal

Match #5 – Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) & Alberto Del Rio (w/ Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. Sheamus & Rey Mysterio

Just to tease the fans, Sheamus is in first, soon to be double-teamed outside of the ring. He brings in Mysterio who runs circles around Ziggler and is thinking 619 but Del Rio kicks him in the back. Ziggler follows with a Zig-Zag, but Sheamus distracts the ref from making the count.

After Mysterio is worked over for a while as a homecoming present, both teams make a tag and Sheamus sets up a Brogue Kick –- only to have Rodriguez grab his foot and nullify the match.

Winners via disqualification: Sheamus & Rey Mysterio

Del Rio leaves Sheamus with a cross arm-breaker and Ziggler is seriously considering cashing in, but Mysterio charges him from the side and gives him a 619, followed by Sheamus popping up with a Brogue Kick.

Dave Hillhouse is a screenwriter and teacher, and would like to see Big Show take a run at the tag team titles by himself.