March 2, 2012
Impact: Champions see action in main event 6-man tag
By BLAINE VAN DER GRIEND - The Fight Network
Impact hits the air with a highlight package, focusing on the feud between Sting and Bobby Roode, and Sting’s change in character.
Kurt Angle then tells the Reaction crew that he has cue cards to explain why he attacked Jeff Hardy (a good two weeks ago).
Angle then comes to the ring and begins to explain that he hates Jeff Hardy because Hardy has a lot of hair, and Angle doesn’t. He then lists off the number of colours that Hardy dyes his hair, which does not impress Angle at all. He adds that Hardy dresses like a hobo, while Angle dresses professionally. Angle also claims that everyone loves Jeff Hardy a lot more than they like him. Angle says the number one reason is that despite all of the action figures, posters and t-shirts that he has, when he walks into his son’s room at night, all he sees is Jeff Hardy merchandise (and I wonder who buys all of it). Angle says his son Cody also has purple hair and wears socks on his arms (Mick Foley’s getting nervous right about now). He says he hates Jeff Hardy because Angle is an Olympic Gold Medalist, yet Jeff Hardy is Angle’s own son’s hero. With that, Angle calls Jeff Hardy to the ring, and Hardy wastes no time accepting the challenge (Angle was right about his clothing). Angle says there is only one solution to all of his problems, which is to have a match with Hardy at Victory Road. Hardy answers the challenge with a kick to the midsection and then begins to unleash right hands into Angle’s cranium. As the security holds Hardy back and Angle retreats to the floor, Hardy verbally accepts the challenge.
Bobby Roode is with the Reaction crew backstage. He says what Sting did to him last week is bad for business. He says there is an entire locker room of guys that are more deserving of a main event spot. As Roode continues to say that he’s the future of the business, Austin Aries interrupts. Aries say both he and Roode have a lot in common. But he says the most they have in common is a common enemy in Sting. Aries says that while Sting is trying to steal Roode’s spotlight, he’s also trying to keep Aries out of the spotlight. Roode says he’s listening if Aries has five minutes to spare. Aries tells Roode that he’s got 10, and the two of them have a little walk and talk off camera.
Match #1: AJ Styles vs. Kazarian and Christopher Daniels in a gauntlet match
For some reason, it sounds like AJ’s theme song has been altered again (not a fan). AJ says he has no idea what’s going on with the two of them. He says when he beats them, he wants to hear what it is they have between them. Daniels starts to say he doesn’t owe any answers to AJ, but Kaz steals the mic and tells AJ that he’s got a deal. As Daniels is distracted by this, AJ meets him on the floor with a plancha (I guess this is the first match). AJ delivers a belly-to-back suplex in the ring, followed by a backbreaker and then transitions to a gutbuster. AJ then delivers a delayed vertical suplex for two, as we go to commercial. Back from break, Kazarian provides a distraction, allowing Daniels to attack from behind. Daniels delivers a back body drop. Daniels starts to get cocky, providing an opening for the Pele from AJ. AJ shoots across the ring off a springboard with a flying forearm. Daniels comes back with the STO. As Daniels catches his breath, Kazarian inexplicably runs into the ring and hits the Fade to Black, which gets Daniels disqualified. Kazarian then pins AJ.
Winners: Kazarian and Daniels by pinfall (AJ over Daniels, Kazarian over AJ)
After the match, Daniels is even confused by Kazarian’s actions, as he says ‘that wasn’t part of the plan.’
Madison Rayne is hanging up a Gail Kim picture in their office? (Why do they have an office?). Gail says it looks great and since Madison gave her a gift, she’s got a gift for Madison, which will be a match against ODB.
Match #2: Madison Rayne vs. ODB
Taz makes some dirty old man comments about Christy Hemme (always great to hear). Madison gains the early advantage with some forearms. ODB fights back and introduces Madison to each of the turnbuckles. ODB runs into Madison’s boot after attempting a carpet buster. ODB eventually hits the carpet buster and then sets up a death valley driver, as Gail Kim tries getting in the ring, but keeps purposely slipping off the apron, which allows ODB to deliver the death valley driver to get the clean win over the NUMBER ONE CONTENDER!
Winner: ODB by pinfall
Bully Ray is complaining to some female stagehand about Brandon Jacobs being on Impact last week. Bobby Roode and Austin Aries interrupt this useless segment and try to get in Ray’s head about James Storm embarrassing him last week. Eventually, Roode and Aries convince Ray that Sting is the root of all their problems.
Velvet Sky is yelling at the Reaction cameras and is clearly upset about being screwed out of the number one contender’s battle royal (how long ago was this?). She continues crying about being screwed out of her title opportunities, as she’s attacked by Angelina Love and Sarita (makes sense, right?). Before being thrown into the side of a dumpster, Velvet yells ‘let go of me,’ which was pretty funny, but I’m sure it wasn’t intended to be. Mickie James then walks on the scene (her and Jeff Hardy clearly shop at the same place) and chases off the heels.
Ric Flair is yelling at Garett Bischoff backstage, saying he gave him a chance to get out of the business once before, and he didn’t. Flair says he’s giving Grrett one week to come to his senses, saying it is not Garett’s time in his world. Garett walks off, saying that it is his time.
Bobby Roode, Bully Ray and Austin Aries come out to the ring, and Ray comes up with the line of the night, yelling into the camera ‘forget about the pigeons. Let the calves loose!’ Roode says he is the reason why everyone is in the building tonight and why everyone is sitting at home watching this show. Roode goes on to claim that he’s the most dominant champion in the history of the company. He says Sting is nothing but an authority figure. He adds that Sting should never put his hands on the champ, nor should he book himself in a match with the champ. Roode says there isn’t going to be a main event between himself and Sting, as he tells Sting that Roode is done. Ray says he thought that what happened last week was all Storm’s fault, but he suddenly realized that it’s all Sting’s fault. Ray says Sting is the one who let Brandon Jacobs into his ring and allowed Jacobs to put him through a table. Ray then shows the footage from last week of him being chokeslammed through a table, saying it should have never happened. Ray goes on to say that he and his calves are done. Aries says that he’s kept his mouth shut for the last few weeks, but it’s been clearly obvious that Sting is a jealous man, and he’s jealous because Roode is a better champion than Sting ever was, that Ray has bigger calves than any muscle in Sting’s body and that Aries can do moves in the ring that Sting never could. Aries then whines about never having a main event match on this show and tells Sting that he is done as well. The three of them then sit down in the ring and Ray says they are not moving. The lights then go out, and as they come back on, Sting is seated in the ring as well. Sting says that when he said he was done, they should have known that he was just playing mind games. He says he wants to know if it’s the same case with the three of them, but they all say they’re serious. Sting reminds Roode and Aries that if they don’t have jobs, they will lose their titles, and then tells Bully Ray he won’t have a pay check if he doesn’t have a job. Sting says Aries is right when he said he hasn’t been in a main event, but that will change, because Aries will team up with Bully Ray and Bobby Roode to face the team of Magnus, Samoa Joe and James Storm (some threesome).
Up next is a video package, focusing on Jesse Sorensen’s road to recovery, with comments from both Sorensen and his mother.
Zema Ion cuts a promo for the Reaction cameras, saying this business is professional wrestling, not ballet (talking about if he feels remorse for Jesse Sorensen). He says the only thing on his mind is getting an X-Division title shot.
Match #3: Zema Ion vs. Shannon Moore
Ion uses Moore’s hair to hold onto a side headlock. Moore fights back with a handsprings bulldog for two. He then delivers a baseball slide, but is attacked on the floor by Ion with a running clothesline. Ion then delivers a missile dropkick in the ring. Ion hits a neckbreaker, but wastes time posing on the top turnbuckle, which Moore takes advantage of with a dropkick and then a hurricanrana off the top rope (dragonsteiner). Moore then misses a moonsault, allowing Ion to deliver the belly-to-back suplex into the facebuster for the win.
Winner: Zema Ion by pinfall
Match #4: Angelina Love and Sarita vs. Velvet Sky and Mickie James
Velvet races to the ring and immediately meets Angelina with a spear. Mickie then takes a turn with a hurricanrana out of the corner for two. She then takes Sarita down with a flapjack. Mickie goes for a low dropkick, but Angelina holds the ropes open, which drops Mickie to the floor. Sarita then goes on the attack with an Alex Shelley-style tope. Angelina continues the punishment with a sidewalk slam in the ring for two. Sarita then applies a modified surfboard, but Mickie is able to fight free. Sarita then goes for a handsprings move, but Mickie delivers a German suplex instead. Velvet finally gets a tag and cleans house. She hits a stunner on Sarita to escape a full nelson. Mickie then takes Sarita out of the match with a Thesz press off the top rope. In the meantime, Velvet drops Angelina with the double underhook faceplant for the win.
Winners: Velvet Sky and Mickie James by pinfall
James Storm is with the tag champs backstage, and tells Reaction cameras that he’s ready to get his title back at Lockdown, but says that until then, he’s going to take any opportunity to get his hands on Bobby Roode. Magnus says the three of them have nothing in common, except that they all want to beat the hell out of their opponents.
Next is a video package, focusing on Abyss, who we haven’t seen since Genesis. And the big question is “Where is Abyss?” A bigger question is “Where is Devon and The Pope?”
Match #5: Bully Ray, Austin Aries and Bobby Roode vs. Samoa Joe, Magnus and James Storm
Aries outshines Magnus in the early going after a sequence of fast-paced holds and takedowns. He cartwheels to avoid a back body drop, but is then clotheslined inside out on the rebound. Roode then gets the tag and calls for Storm to come in. Storm accepts the tag, only to have Roode escape to the floor as we head to break. Back from commercial, Storm drops Ray with a neckbreaker and then tags in Joe. The two big men trade slaps and forearms back and forth, with Joe getting the advantage after a leg lariat. Aries then comes in and is met by an overhead throw. Magnus hiptosses Roode across the ring and tags in Storm, only for Roode to retreat back to his corner. Roode then instantly tags in Aries, who is brought in the hard way by Storm. Joe comes in and unloads some jabs on Aries. Joe then sets up the muscle buster, which Roode stops with a shot to the midsection. Aries then delivers a crucifix bomb on Joe, and Ray continues the offence with a neckbreaker. Roode comes in and delivers a neck snap, as Joe is isolated in the corner of the heels. Joe starts fighting out, but is taken down again and eats an elbow drop by Ray. Joe finally hits a high impact move on Roode with a urinage out of the corner. Storm gets a tag and is on fire, delivering a flapjack to Aries. He then takes Roode down with a back body drop, but is cut off by Ray. Ray is accidentally missile dropkicked by Aries, as Storm reverses an Irish whip. Aries is then snapmared across the ring, and met with the top rope elbow drop by Magnus. Roode takes down Magnus with the double R spinebuster, but is then nailed with the “closing time” facebuster by Storm, who seals the deal with the “last call” super kick for the win.
Winners: James Storm, Samoa Joe and Magnus by pinfall
After the match, Bully Ray attacks all three faces with a chair and yells at Storm that he isn’t even making it to Lockdown. Ray then yells that he is the number one contender, not Storm, which closes the show.
You can read more from Blaine at The Fight Network.