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COMMENT





Impact: 8-man elimination match headlines show
By MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling


Tonight on Impact Wrestling: In a throwback to Thanksgivings past, Impact is headlined by an eight-man elimination match featuring some of the top wrestlers in the company. Elsewhere, Knockouts VP Karen Jarrett books "Thanksgiving Thong Thunder" a six-Knockout tag team match that turns into one of the worst matches of the year.

Tonight's taped show emanates from the Impact Zone in Orlando, Fla. "The Professor" Mike Tenay and The Tazz are our hosts.

Kurt Angle is here to start the show. He says as a man, the only thing he despises is when he's accused of attacking a man from behind. He says he didn't do that to James Storm. He just didn't see him coming. He says, moving forward, don't accuse him of such things because he might take it personally.

This brings Storm out. He says he's going to stick his size 12 cowboy boot where the sun doesn't shine. Storm notes he and Angle used to travel together, their kids played together. He says he's looking Angle right in the eyes now, so go ahead and jump. Angle says Storm screwed him out of the world title, so all he wanted to do was get sweet revenge by screwing Storm out of the title.

Storm says the people here are tired of listening to talk. He takes off his jacket and tells Angle to not take this whooping personally. Angle said he isn't here to fight, but knows some people who are and out come Christopher Daniels, Jeff Jarrett and Bully Ray. Storm socks Angle right in the mouth and then bails before the others can attack. Now AJ Styles, Mr. Anderson and Rob Van Dam come out to even the score. They brawl until the heels bail.

(Ads)

Match #1 - TNA World Tag Team Championship - (c) Matt Morgan (Fairfield, Conn.) & Crimson (Brooklyn, NY) vs. Mexican America

This is the equivalent of a squash match. Hernandez doesn't even make it in the match. Morgan and Crimson deliver a double choke slam on Anarquia and that is all.

Winners via pinfall and STILL TNA World Tag Team Champions: Matt Morgan & Crimson

(Ads)

The Queen of the Mountain is here! Joining her are Gail Kim, Madison Rayne and Traci Brooks. Jarrett calls out most of the rest of the knockouts. She says, despite her best efforts to get the knockouts to cover up, she gets constant messages from freaks who want to see more skin. So tonight, they are going to have a lingerie bowl. And if they don't want to compete, there's the door.

(Ads)

Match #2 - Thanksgiving Thong Thunder - Winter (England), Angelina Love (Toronto, Ontario) & Madison Rayne (Seattle, Wash.) vs. Brooke Tessmacher (Houston, Texas), Tara (San Bernardino, Calif.) & Velvet Sky (The Big Apple)

It's a pose down early before the heels attack the faces from behind and take over.

(Ads)

We're back and the faces are in control. Tara hits standing moonsault and Tessmacher hits the running butt splash. Tessmacher, though, drop kicks Winter right into her corner so she tags in Rayne, who takes over. The heels isolate Tessmacher, but she fires up and brings in Velvet against Rayne. She clotheslines all three. She goes for the double underhook face plant but Winter breaks it up. Now all six women are brawling. In all the commotion, Rayne drops Velvet and then grabs her title belt, only to have Mickie James come out and snap her neck allowing Velvet to recover and hit her finish. Mercifully it's over.

Winners via pinfall: Velvet Sky, Brooke Tessmacher & Tara

(Ads)

Jeff Hardy's music hits, but it's not Hardy. Instead, it's Jeff Jarrett under the mask Hardy wore a few weeks back. He makes fun of Hardy and it's quite great. He goes on and on about Hardy until Hardy's music hits and he runs down to the ring. Hardy starts pounding on Jarrett until Bully Ray and Daniels come down and start beating on Hardy. Now the rest of the people who brawled earlier come down until security breaks them up. Jarrett, though, breaks through and throws Hardy into the steps twice.

(Ads)

Match #3 - Robbie E (Seaside Heights, NJ) vs. Eric Young (Nashville, Tenn.)

The loser of this match has to don the infamous turkey suit.

This is basically a "comedy" match. Robbie appears to have the pin after hitting Young with a small pipe but referee Rudy Charles sees it and restarts the match. Robbie pushes him twice and Charles pushes back. Robbie charges him and Charles ducks out of the way, allowing Young to grab Robbie and hit a piledriver for the pin.

Winner via pinfall: Eric Young

Apparently Robbie E is not able to put on the suit due to the piledriver, so Robbie T has to put it on or Robbie E will be stripped of the TV title.

(Ads)

Match #4 - Elimination Match - AJ Styles (Gainesville, Ga.), Mr. Anderson (Green Bay, Wisc.), Rob Van Dam (Battle Creek, Mich.) & Jeff Hardy (Cameron, NC) vs. Bully Ray (New York City), Christopher Daniels (Los Angeles, Calif.), Jeff Jarrett (Hendersonville, Tenn.) & Bobby Roode (Toronto, Ontario)

With Jarrett injuring Hardy earlier, the heels have a 4-on-3 edge. Roode comes out and instead of going to the ring, he goes to commentary instead.

Mr. Anderson is eliminated first by Roode, who came down to pick some bones after about five-plus minutes on commentary.

Styles comes in on fire against Roode and really has him reeling. Roode low blows Styles right in front of the ref. He's disqualified and eliminated.

(Ads)

We're back and Styles is on the business end of a double suplex from Jarrett and Ray. Styles, though, starts rolling against Daniels and hits the Pele. Both me down and Styles brings in RVD. He cranks Daniels and Jarrett with kicks. Hard. And then some Rolling Thunder for Daniels. He goes to the top and wants the frog splash but Kurt Angle shoves him down and Daniels pins him.

So it's down to 3-on-1 with Styles the lone rep left for his team. It's not looking good for Styles as he is on the receiving end of a beatdown. Daniels goes for the BME but Styles gets his foot up. But then Jarrett and Ray go to clothesline him but he ducks and they hit each other. Styles hits Ray with the Pele and then Hardy's music hits.

He comes out and hits the Twist of Fate on Daniels and he is gone. Then he cradles Jarrett and he's gone. It's Styles and Hardy against Ray. Styles tagged himself in and hits the flying forearm on Ray and that is it.

Survivors: AJ Styles & Jeff Hardy

After the match, Roode comes back down and drills both Styles and Hardy with the title.

Matt Bishop can be reached at bishop20@msu.edu. Please include your name and hometown. Click here to follow Matt on Twitter. Should be a good one!.