October 24, 2011
Raw: More tag team fun(?)
By JON WALDMAN -- SLAM! Wrestling

We kick off Raw with Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole recapping Vengeance. Methinks WWE isn’t exactly confident in the buyrate.

Triple H is the first one out to the ring for the night surrounded in green lighting very reminiscent of DX. He has doffed the suited-up look, much to the chagrin of one Barnibus Stinson.

Trips talks about his career, making money and friends. He then lists off his friends, noticeably not mentioning the name of Scott Hall. He then says he sacrificed his friends for success. After more chatter he gets to talking about Kevin Nash and demands that the big guy get in the ring.

Johnny Ace answers the call instead, however, and the two exchange words. Trips pulls rank and tells Ace to find Nash and give him a contract. Trips then reiterates that he’s going to kick Nash’s ass and walks towards the back, only for Nash to pop out from behind the screen and attack Hunter, ironically, with a sledgehammer. Ace tries to get Nash away from the scene as tee-shirt security finally get Nash away. Finally, EMTs and refs run to help Trips. Elsewhere, Nash is sent out of the building as Superstars and Divas look on. Trips then is seen backstage and collapses. Well, that was ... different?

Back from the break Cole is using his sombre voice to describe what happened just a bit back with Trips and Nash. Back from the recap, Nash is by Trips who is on a gurney. Nash lifts the unconscious Trips up, leans him up against boxes and starts to wield the sledge again as Michael Hayes is heard calling for security. The tee-shirts arrive too late though, as Nash plasters Hunter in the face with the sledge. Looked pretty brutal, especially with the crazy camera movements. And... break? Ok then...

Back from break we see the ambulance pull away before we review everything. That’s a half hour dedicated to this. Sigh.

We finally get back to the ring for the first match of the night.

Randy Orton/Sheamus vs.Christian/Cody Rhodes

Well, I guess we’re getting the first setup for Survivor Series. Sheamus dominates early and like I said before, I am gambling he will be the one to dethrone Mark Henry when the time comes.

The C’s get the advantage as we head to break, but coming out we quickly get the hot tag to Randy Orton who then takes the heat. God, WWE tag team matches are more formulaic than the plot of a Full House episode. Sheamus, predictably, then comes in for his hot tag segment, before distractions and double teaming take over. Eventually, Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick on Cody while he was attempting the Flying Chuck (only on his thigh though), setting up the Celtic Cross for the finish.

Winners: Sheamus/Randy Orton

Back in his makeshift office, Johnny Ace is on his cell phone with Stephanie McMahon. David Otunga is in the background for a bit. John Cena later comes in and gets a tag match (ugh) for later tonight against Awesome Truth. His tag partner will be picked by Ace, who then starts texting after Cena leaves. Okay, let me ask this – why the hell does Ace have a slider phone? Should he not have a Crackberry or iPhone?

Match 2 – Santino Marella vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler has really, really impressed me in the last few weeks and if he continues to work the way he does, he could very well find himself in the WWE title picture. Short match which, thanks to a bit of distraction from Jack Swagger, ends quickly with the Zig Zag.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

Post-match, Vickie’s Boys continue to beat on Santino until Mason Ryan comes out for the save.

Backstage, the Bellas are chatting when Zack Ryder breezes through, declaring he’s going to be Cena’s partner tonight.

Back from break, Ricardo Rodriguez, sporting a black eye introduces Alberto Del Rio. ADR says he is moving on to new challengers and says there is no one better than him. His celebration, however, is cut short, as CM Punk comes out (with a microphone for the first time in a while). The two have a pretty good exchange as Del Rio denies Punk his request for a title match.

Ace comes out after more back-and-forth putting a halt to the proceedings and makes a match between the two at Survivor Series, if Punk tells Ace he respects him. Oh this, this is going to be good.

Indeed, Punk goes off beautifully on Ace’s lack of ability. Ace responds that he’s going to take another week to think about Punk’s title shot request. Punk then goes off majorly on ADR. Rodriguez saves ADR from the GTS, but then eats hit himself.

Match 3: Natalya vs. Alicia Fox

Wow. Fox has absolutely 0 heat. Less than 0 even.

Nattie really takes it to Alicia quickly but Alicia actually shows that she can hang pretty well and even pulls out the duke with a corner sunset into a roll-up.

Winner: Alicia Fox

Alicia escapes an attack afterward. Let’s hope the win can give her a bit of momentum heading into what looks like a fresh program for the Divas division. I’m all for a new face.

Match 4 – John Morrison vs. Wade Barrett

Okay, who’s going to lose more through the end of the year – Morrison or Samoa Joe?

Cole continues on about supposed photos that J.R. has been posting on Twitter. I, of course, am 15 minutes behind because of the time delay in Canada (someone explain this one to me please?).

We find out that Trips has a concussion and neck injury, possibly a broken neck, from Nash’s attack. Cole then gets up on the announce desk to address J.R. and show these supposed J.R. Tweeted photos. God, please end this now. Cole honours my request and challenges Cole to the “Michael Cole Challenge”, and if J.R. wins, Cole quits. This could be very good, or very, very bad.

Backstage, Zack Ryder is being interviewed before he’s attacked by Awesome Truth in a major way. The two then head to the ring and cut a promo on Triple H and John Cena.

Match 5 – Awesome Truth vs. John Cena

Cena gets tagged early and often as he displays his new Fall line of apparel. Colour this season? Black.

Standard Cena match develops before Truth comes in with, yes Cole actually said this, his “patented water bottle”. Oy.

Winner: John Cena (DQ)

Cena gets torn apart as fans look for the save, but no one comes. Miz then goes out to get a couple chairs. Conchairto time!

Then, all the sudden, Johnny Ace comes out to halt the action and sends Miz and Truth to the back. The fans boo ferociously and I agree. Ace then stops them and says there will be a new actual tag team match at Survivor Series with Awesome Truth facing Cena and a partner of his choosing. Cena then chooses... wait for it... The Rock.

Um, didn’t they announce that months ago on Facebook or something? Didn’t they run THREE commercials saying Rock returns to the ring at the Series?

See you next week.


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