RAW: CM Punk rips up his contract
DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
Not only is this the last Monday Night RAW before the Money in the Bank PPV, it is also the last time we will see CM Punk on RAW. Even though Punk was reinstated, it seems to be common knowledge at this point that he will not be extending his contract. The big question is though, will Punk actually win the WWE Title on Sunday and will he leave with it. (Short answer: No.)
CM Punk kicks off the show, addressing the crowd from the middle of the ring. Punk says he didn’t watch the show last week because he was suspended. He got in trouble because he says things that everyone else is afraid to say. He rehashes his remarks from two weeks ago and then says all he really wants is Vince McMahon to see him as the hottest property in the business. Punk says Vince now sees it because he has made it socially relevant in the real world; media outlets are begging Punk for his story. Vince is now ready to give Punk everything he wants, so Punk wants to negotiate his contract in the ring.
Punk doesn’t get Vince, he gets the man he will face on Sunday, WWE champion John Cena. Punk thanks Cena for getting him reinstated to a job he doesn’t really want, and then tells the champ that he is going to change the belt when he wins it. Punk tells Cena he has nothing to worry about, because Vince would never fire him.
Cena has news for Punk, he’s no push over. The champ says he is the best because he has the title and he has earned it. Cena tells Punk he is going to whoop him in Chicago, when the GM chimes in with an email.
Michael Cole informs us that Vince McMahon is on the way to negotiate with Punk, and John Cena will wrestle in a special match, next.
Match #1 – John Cena vs. Michael McGillicutty and David Otunga – Handicapped Match
Cole and Jerry Lawler talk about the upcoming contract negotiation with CM Punk instead of calling the match. After a commercial break, Cole and Lawler are still talk about Vince and the WWE title.
Otunga and McGillicutty beat on Cena in the corner. Cena counters a suplex from Otunga, and then takes down McGillicutty with the sidewalk slam. Cena follows with the five knuckle shuffle and sets him up for the Attitude Adjustment. Otunga makes the save, and McGillicutty connects on a drop kick, but cannot get the pin. Cena fights off a superplex, knocking McGillicutty to the mat. Cena hits the flying leg drop and locks in the STF. Otunga breaks up the hold, and pounds Cena into the corner. Cena ducks Otunga, and hits McGillicutty with the AA; he then knock Otunga out of the ring and pins McGillicutty.
Winner via pinfall: John Cena
Backstage, Vicki Guerrero is prepping her man, Dolph Ziggler, to talk to Vince about firing Punk and Cena. Vicki and Drew McIntyre show off their Vince impressions. Dolph, Drew, and Vicki rakes turns running down Vince, unaware that he is walking up behind them. Vince tells them they deserve the big spotlight, so Vince books them in a match against The Big Show.
After Vicki and the boys run off, Scott Stanford asks Vince what is going to go down tonight. Vince tells the world off.
Match #2 – Melina vs. Kelly Kelly
The Bella Twins join the announce table. Kelly gets the pin after hitting Melina with the K2.
Winner pinfall: Kelly Kelly
After the match, Brie and Nikki get on the microphone and approach Kelly in the ring. I think they are insinuating that she is anorexic. Nikki and Brie jump her, and Eve runs in for the save. Unfortunately, Eve gets a face buster for her troubles.
The Miz sits atop a ladder in the middle of the ring to promote the Money in the bank PPV. Miz talks about winning the Money and becoming a WWE champion. Miz calls himself the future.
Jack Swagger seems to think otherwise, as he interrupts the Miz. Swagger points out he has also won the Money and then won the world championship. Evan Bourne crashes the party next, saying he is going to steal the show. Kofi Kingston gets his cue to come out. Kingston points out that Edge was injured in matches like this. R-Truth finally walks out and provides his conspiracy theory. He talks about how he beat John Cena two weeks ago. Truth says he is afraid of heights, and now they want him to climb a ladder. Alex Riley runs in, chasing Miz from the ring, as Alberto Del Rio makes his grand entrance. Del Rio says Cena is afraid of him and once again says it is his destiny to be WWE champion. And after all that, the RAW GM fires off his thoughts. The GM wants to have a six-man tag tam match.
Match #3 – Jack Swagger, The Miz, and R-Truth vs. Alex Riley, Evan Bourne, and Kofi Kingston
Well, this is your typical "last RAW before PPV" cluster of a six-man tag match. Alex Riley gets the pin after planting Jack Swagger with a DDT.
Winner via pinfall: Alex Riley, Evan Bourne, and Kofi Kingston
After the bell, Miz hits Riley with the Skull Crushing Finale and all hell breaks loose. Del Rio hits the ring, clearing everyone out with a ladder and The Miz is clutching his arm.
Match #4 – Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler w/ Vicki Guerrero vs. The Big Show
Dolph quickly tags out and hides behind the apron, allowing his partner to take a beating from Show. McIntyre gets his butt kicked all the way up the ramp. Show goes to choke slam McIntyre off the stage, but is blindsided by Mark Henry, who knocks Show off the stage, along with himself.
Double Count Out
Vince McMahon heads to the ring, but first he wants the correct ovation from the crowd. Someone get the SLAM! Wrestling intern on this. Is this the first individual contract negotiation to take place in the ring?
Vince isn’t happy that this is happening in public, but he’s going along with it anyways. Punk mocks Vince as he walks to the ring. Vince offers Punk a contract that his lawyers have gone over. Punk ignores Vince, wondering why he has no faith in John Cena. Vince wants Punk to sign the contract for the right reasons, and he couldn’t live with himself if Punk walks out of Chicago with the WWE Title. Vince then calls Punk by name -- Phil. Punk says that contract isn’t up to par, so his lawyers drew up a new one. It includes provisions that Punk gets his own jet, not Vince’s jet, a new one. Punk wants his face on everything, and he means everything, including bringing back the WWE ice cream bars. He wants production on his movie to start right away, and he wants to be the main event at Wrestlemania. Punk also wants an apology from Vince for suspending him, and for being one of the biggest bullies Punk has ever met. Punk calls Vince out of touch with the 2011 wrestling fan. Punk demands Vince sign it, and then tosses the table aside. The crowd starts to chant, and Vince tells them he doesn’t care what they want. Punk says that’s the problem, he knows what the people want, and Vince doesn’t.
Vince says he is sorry. Punk makes him repeat it and couldn’t be happier. Vince picks up the contract, but before he signs it, John Cena hits the ring. The champ tells Vince not to cave. Cena admits he hates Vince, too, but he shows up for work every day. Punk doesn’t want Cena lecturing him about losing sight of the big picture. Punk tells Cena that he has lost of who he is. Cena has become what he hates, a dynasty, like the New York Yankees. Cena takes a swipe at Punk, who rolls out of the ring.
Punk sits atop the stage and has something to say. Punk wants to leave because he is tired of Cena, he is just tired. Punk wants everyone to say goodbye to the WWE title, John Cena, and CM Punk on Sunday. He rips up his contract and saying he will be the best in the world somewhere else.
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Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Follow Dale on Twitter @DPlummer627 as he re-negotiates his SLAM! Wrestling contract. Dale is holding out for free donuts.