Impact: New era begins
MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight on Impact Wrestling: It's a new era for TNA and this show reflects it. There's a new set with a new color scheme. The backstage promos that were so prolific prior have been toned down and there's also a new X Division champion and it's not someone you'd ever expect.
Like usual, tonight's taped show emanates from the Impact Zone in Orlando, Fla. "The Professor" Mike Tenay and The Tazz are our hosts.
There might be a new name but not much has changed to start the show as Immortal is out. Eric Bischoff says both Hulk Hogan and Mick Foley are in New York with the Network and says because those guys aren't here, Immortal is in charge. Really. He says this. A week after they supposedly lost power. He says if anyone gets in their way, they'll pay the price.
So out comes Brian Kendrick, Amazing Red and Generation Me. Kendrick says he's looking at a leech who's parasites off this business since he was a child. Bischoff says to settle down and handle this like professionals. Bischoff says he'll make history here tonight by wiping out the X Division once and for all. He says they'll start with Kazarian against Abyss for the X Division title. He also books Amazing Red against Samoa Joe and Generation Me against Matt Hardy and Eric Bischoff. He says he's going to kick some vanilla midget ass.
Kendrick says Bischoff forgot about him. Bischoff says he's got something for him and slaps him. Then he sicks Immortal on them. They get beatdown until Fortune makes the save and sends them packing. Now they're brawling on the ramp. And some more. Wow. This is just an all-out brawl now. X-Division guys back into it. Bodies flying everywhere. Finally, they send Immortal packing for once.
Match #1 - Sarita (Mexico City, Mexico), Rosita & Madison Rayne (Seattle, Wash.) vs. Mickie James (Richmond, Va.), Tara (State of California) & Miss Tessmacher (Houston, Texas)
Madison doesn't like how she's being handled by Mickie so she tags in Sarita. Mickie brings in Tara. Tessmacher in now for the double clothesline. Tessmacher hits the ropes but gets held by Rosita allowing the heels to isolate and beat on her in the corner. Tessmacher escapes and gets the tag to Tara against Madison, but she quickly tags out.
Rosita in and she immediately gets hit with a spinning side slam for two. ow it breaks down. Madison comes in on Tara from behind but Tara turns around before she can attack. Madison begs off before throwing Rosita to the wolves. Tara hits her with a Sky High power bomb and that's it.
Winners via pinfall: Tara, Mickie James & Miss Tessmacher
Match #2 - X Division Championship - (c) Kazarian (Anaheim, Calif.) vs. Abyss (Parts Unknown)
Abyss goes for a choke slam but Kazarian slips out. Abyss charges in the corner but Kaz moves and comes off with a springboard missile dropkick. Both men down. Springboard back elbow and a springboard leg drop hit for Kazarian for two. He's rolling here. Big kick. Kazarian to the top but Abyss catches him for the choke slam but Kazarian rolls it through for two.
Kazarian comes charging into the corner but jumps onto the turnbuckle when Abyss moves. Before he can come down, Abyss grabs him for the Shock Treatment backbreaker. He goes for the Vader Bomb but Kazarian moves and Abyss hits his knee hard. Kazarian goes after it but the referee grants Abyss a timeout of sorts and makes Kazarian back off. Kazarian charges but Abyss hits him with a big boot with the bad leg and picks him up and hits the Black Hole Slam and that's it.
Winner via pinfall and NEW X Division Champion: Abyss
Match #3 - Amazing Red (Brooklyn, NY) vs. Samoa Joe (Isle of Samoa)
Joe's in the corner taking his towel off and Red charges him. Joe just throws him down. It's all downhill for Red from there as he is finished in about a minute with the Muscle Buster. Total squash.
Winner via pinfall: Samoa Joe
Joe keeps the beatdown going before Crimson makes the save for his brother. They brawl and Crimson sends Joe out with a T-Bone suplex.
AJ Styles is in the ring in a neck brace. He immediately calls Tommy Dreamer out. Styles says he's going to be in the brace for the next few weeks. Styles says if Dreamer wasn't at Immortal's beck and call, his contract wouldn't exist, so he doesn't hold him responsible for what happened at Sacrifice.
Dreamer asks Styles if he's saying he's better than him. Dreamer says he gave Styles the piledriver the first time because he had to. Now he does what he wants to do. He drops Styles and puts the boots to him, all the while talking trash to him and taking some rage out on the fans. Styles is able to reverse him but Dreamer grabs the neck and Styles rolls over. Dreamer puts punches to Styles until Daniels runs out. Dreamer tries to sneak attack Daniels but he was ready. Daniels going to town on Dreamer when Bully Ray enters the ring and hits Styles in the neck with it. Then Ray and Dreamer take care of Daniels and Dreamer gives Styles a piledriver.
Kurt Angle is out. "Ding dong the bitch is dead" he proclaims. He says after months and months, Karen Jarrett is gone. He gives credit to Chyna. Now he turns his attention to Jeff Jarrett. He says he finally gets what he wants: A 1-on-1 match at Slammiversary. He says he got off the phone with Foley and the winner of the match will be the No. 1 contender for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Jarrett makes his way out. Jarrett wants to know what Angle did to deserve a final match with him. Jarrett says each time they faced each other, he won. He says Angle allowed himself to be distracted by Karen. He says he's better than Angle. Jarrett says he's up for the match and says if Angle thinks he's better than him, he'll have no problem putting his gold medal on the line. Angle accepts.
As they seal it with a hand shake, Jarrett's music hits and Karen comes up through Angle's entrance lift in a wheelchair. Karen says she'll be at Slammiversary. Then Velvet Sky comes up behind her. She keeps talking when Velvet grabs the mic and asks her if she wants to go for a ride. Velvet pushes her down the ramp where Jarrett tries to catch her but they end up falling to the floor.
Match #4 - Generation Me (Southern California) vs. Matt Hardy (Cameron, NC) & Eric Bischoff (Cody, Wy.)
Hardy's working the entire match and is getting the worst of it. Jeremy goes for the 450 but Hardy gets his knees up. Jeremy tags Max, who immediately walks into the Ice Pick. He's out but Hardy lets him go so Bischoff can come in and get his kicks in. Bischoff pins him.
Winners via pinfall: Eric Bischoff & Matt Hardy
Match #5 - Handicap Match - Winter (England) & Angelina Love (Toronto, Ontario) vs. Velvet Sky
This is Velvet's punishment for pushing Karen Jarrett down the ramp.
Velvet starts to get going but is overwhelmed. Backbreaker lands for Winter. She tags in Angelina and tells her to finish Velvet. She goes to pick her up but ends up getting small packaged.
Winner via pinfall: Velvet Sky
Velvet is celebrating outside when she is attacked by, of all people, ODB. She beats her down and calls her a dirty whore. Classy bunch, these Knockouts.
Ric Flair is out. He calls out Robert Roode. Flair is mad about Roode injuring him at Lockdown. Roode says if the shoe was on the other foot, Flair would've done the same thing. Flair says if the shoe was on the other foot, he would've put Roode out for good. Roode says what happened at Lockdown was business, not personal. He says he respects Flair, but tells him he's a man and will continue to be long after Flair's gone.
Flair tells Roode to break it again right now. Roode says he's not doing this and starts to walk away but Flair stops him and slaps him. He says no one walks away from him. Flair grabs him by the throat so Roode does apply that Fujiwara armbar until Immortal comes down and beats him down real, real bad.
The champ is here. Sting is out. He says he wants to acknowledge the man who took him to the limit at Sacrifice, Rob Van Dam. He says no sooner than 60 seconds after winning Sunday, Mr. Anderson was in his face. Sting's music plays again and the lights go out. They come back up and Mr. Anderson dressed as early-90s Sting is behind him. He lays him out. The resemblance is uncanny.
Matt Bishop can be reached at email@example.com. Please include your name and hometown. Click here to follow Matt on Twitter. Should be a good one!.