May 13, 2011
Impact: Chyna, Foley, Harris all return
By MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight on TNA Impact: Nearly 10 years to the day of her final match in the WWF, Chyna has returned to professional wrestling. She was revealed as Kurt Angle's business associate to face Jeff and Karen Jarrett at Sacrifice. Elsewhere, Mick Foley was revealed as the network rep and brings along word of a significant change.
Like usual, tonight's taped show emanates from the Impact Zone in Orlando, Fla. "The Professor" Mike Tenay and The Tazz are our hosts.
Hulk Hogan is backstage pacing with a lead pipe waiting for the network rep to arrive. Eric Bischoff says they can't beat their way out of this, they have to think their way out of it.
Jeff and Karen Jarrett are out. Jeff offers Kurt Angle a truce and adds this is very, very sincere. He says Karen is so sweet, so innocent, so fragile. He says it's wrong for Karen to be put in the ring at Sacrifice. He says he's made it a priority to keep Karen out of his matches. He adds she's had nothing to do with the outcome each time he's beaten Angle. That's a good one.
Karen says she's been nothing, but a warm, loving, giving and care ex-wife. She asks Kurt to come out so they can be one big happy family.
Angle comes out and says it's done but then he adds that Karen shouldn't push him the way she does. He says Karen and "Mr. Douchebag" have been pushing all the right buttons and he's tolerated it because she's the mother of his kids. He says it's only a matter of time before Jarrett realizes she's pure evil.
He says before the marriage implodes, he wants his just due. He was going to bring out his new business associate now but the network rep asked him to wait until later. He adds in that Jarrett knows who she is.
Match #1 - Madison Rayne (Seattle, Wash.) & Tara (State of California) vs. Mickie James (Richmond, Va.) & Miss Tessmacher (Houston, Texas)
Tessmacher gets into the ring with Rayne and Rayne laughs in her face until she eats a right. Tessmacher goes for a victory roll out of the corner and actually gets the pin.
Winners via pinfall: Miss Tessmacher & Mickie James
Beer Money is out. Robert Roode wants to know who Matt Hardy has picked to be his tag team partner. He says he knows who it is, but wants Hardy to come out so he can accept it face-to-face.
Hardy makes his way to the ringside area. He says everyone saw Roode finally become a man last week. He says he's noticed both members of Beer Money. Hardy says he is one-half of the greatest tag team to ever grace pro wrestling. He says he has the balls to put them in their place at Sacrifice.
Storm says for Hardy to get his brother out here and get on with it. Hardy says his brother isn't Jeff, but it's someone who knows Storm inside and out. Then Storm's former partner in America's Most Wanted, Chris Harris, comes out. He's Hardy's partner at Sacrifice.
Match #2 - Sangriento (Tijuana, Mexico) vs. Suicide (Parts Unknown)
Suicide all over Sangriento. Reverse DDT lands but Sangirento fires up with chops and hits a running spinning heel kick in the corner and then hits a tornado DDT for two. Sangirento to the top rope but he rolls through as Suicide moves. Flapjack-type maneuver for Suicide for two. Jumping chinbreaker for Sangirento now. He lines Suicide up, hits a kick and then the reverse springboard cutter for the pin.
Winner via pinfall: Sangirento
He barely gets any time to breathe before Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff and Ric Flair make their way to the ring.
Hogan says he runs this place and he wants the network rep to come to the ring.
Those three are joined by the Jarretts in the ring. He calls out the rep and music hits and it's none other than Mick Foley. He's out in a sport coat. Foley immediately starts talking and says it's him. Foley gets into the ring and pie faces Bischoff when he gets in his face and says if he gets touched, they're fired.
Foley says the show isn't about them, it's about wrestling. He says now, wrestling matters again. He says from now on, this show is no longer TNA Wrestling. He says it's Impact Wrestling. He says to show everyone what Impact is about, there's a new main event, a 25-man battle royal to determine the No. 1 contender for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.
Foley says since he calls the shots, he's going to tell the Jarretts who Angle's tag team partner is at Sacrifice. He points to the back and it's none other than Chyna.
Karen is freaking out.
Match #3 - Abyss (Parts Unknown) vs. Crimson (Brooklyn, NY) vs. Samoa Joe (Isle of Samoa)
Crimson with knees to Joe's face but then he runs right into a scoop slam. Abyss gets back into it and hits Joe with a Black Hole Slam but turns around into a spear from Crimson. Abyss goes rolling to the outside and Crimson scrambles and pins Joe.
Winner via pinfall: Crimson
Abyss beats Crimson down following the match.
25 Man Over-the-Top Battle Royale to Determine the No. 1 Contender for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship
Well, this is a just a huge mess.
Let's fast forward to the final four. We've got Jeff Jarrett, Kurt Angle, Mr. Anderson and Bully Ray.
Both Ray and Anderson end up on the floor after going under the bottom rope (Ray) and through the middle rope (Anderson). That leaves Angle and Jarrett. Angle tries the Angle Slam but can't get it. Instead, he hits a clothesline and pulls down the straps. Karen grabs his ankle, so he pulls her to the apron. From behind, Jarrett eliminates Angle.
Jarrett thinks he won but no bell is ringing. Then Chyna comes up from behind and eliminates him. She grabs Karen by the throat but Jarrett makes the save for her.
So we're down to Ray and Anderson. They each crawl to the middle of the ring where they start slugging it out. Ray with a clothesline. He throws Anderson over the top but he lands on the apron. Anderson gets back in, drops Ray and goes for the sexton but Ray gets the knees up. He throws Anderson to the apron again. Anderson starts on the apron and eats some punches before grabbing a front headlock and dragging Ray to the floor.
Winner: Mr. Anderson