Impact: Sting on top heading to Lockdown
MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight on TNA Impact: We're just says away from Lockdown and Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff have been looking to recruit new members for Immortal in their battle with Sting. Tonight, they turn their attention to Rob Van Dam while Hogan's problems with Mr. Anderson escalate.
Like usual, tonight's taped show emanates from the Impact Zone in Orlando, Fla. "The Professor" Mike Tenay and The Tazz are our hosts.
The entirety of Immortal is out, led by Hulk Hogan. He immediately calls out Mr. Anderson. I've got the over/under on people entering the ring during this segment set at 1.5 after Anderson. Hogan says he's going to have to make an example out of Anderson. Anderson said he used to look up to Hogan but not anymore. He says he's not going to step in line (brother) like the rest of the lemmings Hogan has with him. Hogan ends up slapping him but before he can get back up, he's attacked by Immortal. Hogan says Anderson brought all this on himself. He says he's the baddest mamma jamma in TNA (who says that anymore?) and their paths will cross again. Bully Ray gets in Anderson's face. Anderson spits in his face and then gets punched.
Wow. I'm shocked. If you had the under, you win!
Match #1 - Crimson (Brooklyn, NY) vs. Jesse Neal (Orlando, Fla.) vs. Orlando Jordan (Miami, Fla.) vs. Douglas Williams (The United Kingdom)
All four of these men are half of a tag team. The four teams will meet at Lockdown.
Springboard crossbody lands for Neal on Crimson and he follows up with a spear. He's then distracted by Shannon Moore getting in the face-off Scott Steiner. Steiner attacks and sends him into the rail. Neal has to leave the ring and goes after him. In the ring, Crimson hits Williams with a facebuster but Crimson leaves to go after them only he's attacked from behind by Abyss. Abyss rips a guardrail out and choke slams him onto it.
Apparently the match in the ring just stopped while all this was going down. Back in the ring, Magnus gets involved as Eric Young hoists the ref for a body slam. The ref can clearly see everything. Williams holds Jordan but Magnus is cut off by Young as he comes in. Young and Magnus brawl as Jordan grabs Williams and hits him with the Gender Bender (I cannot believe I just typed that), which is the Cross Rhodes if you're a WWE fan. That's it.
Winner via pinfall: Orlando Jordan
I do this play-by-play in real time and I have now had to pause the show for going on three minutes now as I try to piece everything that just happened back in my head. Too much going on at once!
Match #2 - Matt Hardy (Cameron, NC) vs. Kazarian (Anaheim, Calif.)
This is the first in a best-of-three to determine which team has the advantage at Lethal Lockdown.
Earl Hebner goes to the outside before the ring and kicks Fourtune out of the ringside area. Then, just as I think he's going to allow Immortal to stay, he sends them to the back as well. At least some sanity remains in TNA. Ric Flair has to be pulled to the back by Bully Ray after throwing his jacket.
Hardy in control early. He puts Kazarian in a standing headlock and then pulls him to the mat by his hair. He goes for the Twist of Hate but Kazarian turns around and makes it a backslide for two. Kazarian with a sunset flip for two but then walks right into a Side Effect for two.
Another Side Effect for Hardy and he goes for the moonsault but Kazarian rolls out of the way. Kazarian gets going with clotheslines and a dropkick. He slams Hardy and hits a springboard legdrop. He goes for the reverse piledriver but Hardy slides out. Kazarian with a springboard missile dropkick but Hardy gets his foot on the ropes on the cover.
Hardy charges Kazarian in the corner but takes a huge boot to the eye. Hardy goes down, acting like he's hurt. Hebner checks on him while Kazarian goes to the top. Hardy pushes Hebner into the top rope and Kazarian gets crotched and falls into the ring. Hardy is magically fine and locks in the Ice Pick. That's it.
Winner via technical submission: Matt Hardy
Madison Rayne and Tara are in the ring. She says she's been replaying the events of last week, where she and Tara ran Mickie James over with a motorcycle. She says if she could've done it differently, she would've backed the bike up and "ran Mickie's ass over one more time" then slapped Tara for ever doubting her. She runs down Tara and threatens to fire her if she gets out of line again.
She tells Tara if she has anything to say, then spit it out. Before she can, Mickie James comes out with her arm in a sling. And wow, Mickie is mad. She tells Madison she should've ran her over one more time but now, she got back up (Madison yells at her: "THAT WAS YOUR MISTAKE!"). Mickie says she's going to pay Madison back and then some when they meet Sunday at Lockdown. She says Madison's taken the coward's way out this whole time but at Lockdown, there's no way out. And she's going to show her what hardcore country really is.
I can't see anything else topping this as best thing on the show.
Match #3 - Hernandez (Houston, Texas), The Pope (Harlem, NY) & Jeff Jarrett (Hendersonville, Tenn.) vs. Matt Morgan (Fairfield, Conn.), Samoa Joe (Isle of Samoa) & Kurt Angle (Pittsburgh, Pa.)
Jarrett teases he's going to start with Angle but circles around the ring and then tags Hernandez.
Heels isolate Morgan, working on his left leg. He gets the tag to Angle, though, who comes in and throws Hernandez across the ring from the top rope. Both men tag and it's Jarrett and Joe in there. Hernandez avalanches his own man and Joe hits a scoop slam for two. He locks in an armbar but Pope breaks it up. Joe with a kick to Pope and he goes for the Musclebuster but Jarrett makes the save and throws him to the floor. As Jarrett bad mouths Joe, Angle comes up from behind him. Jarrett runs to the back.
Back in the ring, I guess Jarrett is no longer the legal man and this isn't a countout as it's Joe and Hernandez going at it. Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch but Pope hits an elbow off the top that breaks it up. Morgan disposes of Pope. Morgan clotheslines Hernandez over. But before that happened, Hernandez brought brass knuckles into the ring. Pope picks them up and drills Joe with them behind the referee's back and that's it.
Winners via pinfall: The Pope, Hernandez & Jeff Jarrett
Hogan and Bischoff are out and Hogan calls out RVD. Hogan tells him to not make the same mistake as Anderson. He says when he brought RVD to TNA, he wanted him to be a big part of the team. He says he's seen a completely different RVD lately and the new RVD isn't going to take a backseat to anyone. Hogan says RVD would be a perfect fit.
They are interrupted by Sting. He tells RVD the last place he wants to be is with Hogan and Bischoff. Sting says it's an honor to be champion, but he's not going to stop focusing on getting rid of Hogan and Bischoff. He says if RVD joins them, the only way he's winning the title at Lockdown is over his dead body. RVD takes a look around, backs up and walks out of the ring.
Bischoff has the mic and says he's feeling confident. He says Sting is never going to get RVD. He says Sting is not quite the "chess player" Hogan is. He says Hogan's been out-manipulating Sting for the better part of their careers. He says he feels a checkmate in the near future for Sting. Sting says Bischoff is wrong and punches him in the stomach and gives him the Scorpion Death Drop. Now he stalks Hogan but grabs the mic and says he's going to do it on his time. Where was the rest of Immortal during all this?
Match #4 - Abyss (Parts Unknown) vs. James Storm (Leipers Fork, Tenn.)
Storm brandishes the beer bottle. Hebner takes it away so Storm spits beer in Abyss's face and clotheslines him over the top rope. Storm gets the best of it on the outside but once back in the ring, Abyss takes over. He goes for a corner splash but misses. Storm tries to knock him down and finally does with a flying forearm. Storm to the top and he hits a crossbody for two. Abyss up and goes for the chokeslam but Storm hits him with the Codebreaker and then the back stabber but Abyss kicks out. Storm comes running in and eats a chokeslam but Storm kicks out at two.
Abyss is a wee bit mad here. He goes for the Shock Treatment. Storm rakes the eyes to escape. He goes for the Last Call Superkick but Abyss spins him around right into the Black Hole Slam.
Winner via pinfall: Abyss
This means Immortal wins the best-of-three 2-0 and will have the man advantage during Lethal Lockdown on Sunday.
Velvet Sky is out and she calls out Angelina Love. She says if she doesn't like what she hears, "she will not hold back from whooping' that ass." Well, she's got better rhymes than John Cena.
Winter's music hits. Angelina comes out and she is in the trance. Velvet pushes her and then shoves her in the chest and Angelina spears her out of her boots. Angelina crawls under the bottom rope and grabs a chair. She grabs Velvet and hits a reverse DDT with knees in the back. Then she grabs the chair and hits Velvet with a DDT onto it.
Match #5 - Gauntlet Match - Mr. Anderson vs. Murphy, Rob Terry, Gunner & Bully Ray
Murphy starts out for Immortal. He is quickly disposed of with a Mic Check.
Rob Terry is next. He works on Anderson's leg. He gets out of a leg bar and hits the Mic Check.
Next up is your TNA World Television Champion, Gunner. He kicks Anderson's knee on multiple occasions. Anderson fires up and hits a spinning neckbreaker for two. Anderson goes for the Plunge but his knee can't hold out. Gunner charges him in the corner but that doesn't work, as Anderson gets him in the middle of the ring and hits the Mic Check.
So that leaves Bully Ray, apparently the only non-jobber for Immortal. Ray works the leg but Anderson slaps him and goes to work briefly until he eats a big back elbow. Ray to the top but he gloats and Anderson punches him down and hits the Plunge for two. They exchange right hands until Ray boots him right in the kisser. Ray throws Anderson to the outside and then attacks the referee from behind.
Ray drags Anderson up the ramp by the bad leg. He takes Anderson up to the same spot where he power bombed AJ Styles from on the stage. First he pulls out the chain but before he can do anything, Hogan's music hits. He looks like a kid in a candy store. Hogan loads Anderson up for the power bomb through the table. I don't think this is happening. And it's not. Sting comes out with the baseball bat. Abyss comes out but gets beaten down with the bat. Same for Ray.
Then Sting stands over Anderson and points the bat in his face.
Matt Bishop can be reached at email@example.com. Please include your name and hometown. Click here to follow Matt on Twitter. Should be a good one!.