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COMMENT





RAW: Orton gets Punk'ed; Cena tricks The Miz
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


Wrestlemania is less than two weeks away and WWE has already pulled out all the stops. We already have The Rock, Steve Austin, Trish Stratus in the mix. I’m not sure there can be any more surprises as Monday Night RAW comes to us from Pittsburgh.

Good ol' Jim Ross is announced at the start of the show, but instead we get Michael Cole in a bad costume, mocking JR. After retreating to his Plexiglas box, the show officially gets underway.

Triple H makes his way to the ring to cut his latest promo. Hunter says no matter who wins, neither man will be the same. He calls on the Undertaker to show up on RAW next week, so he can tell him to his face he will lose. When the streak dies, so does the Undertaker. If it can’t be done, Hunter promises he will die trying.

After Triple H has his say, Ted DiBiase walks out and tells Hunter he is now an afterthought, so he is going to take out Triple H. He wants people to take notice. Hunter decks DiBiase off the apron and then smashes him into the ring steps. He slams DiBiase’s head off the steel and then whips him into the security barrier. Hunter grabs a chair, crushing it over DiBiase’s back. Trips disassembles the announce table, and drops Ted though it with a Pedigree.

Match #1 – King Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne

Sheamus puts the boots to Bourne, and then pounds away on his chest. Bourne sidesteps a charge in the corner, and connects with a drop kick. Bourne climbs the turnbuckle, but misses on Air Bourne. Sheamus answers with the pump kick, and covers Bourne for the win.

Winner via pinfall: King Sheamus

Sheamus tells the crowd that he is the new United States Champion, when Daniel Bryan heads to the ring to invoke his rematch clause -- at Wrestlemania. Sheamus tosses Bryan the belt, and follows with a kick to the face.

Scott Stanford intercepts Randy Orton coming off his personal tour bus. Orton likes having somewhere to clear his head and spend time with his family. Orton says CM Punk now has no one to watch his back, and he has no idea how sick and twisted Orton can get.

Match #2 – Maryse vs. Eve

Michael Cole interrupts this match, but it doesn’t stop Eve from picking up the win after countering a neck break with one of her own.

Winner via pinfall: Eve

After the match, Eve tries to get at Michael Cole, but security keeps her at bay.

Match #3 – Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel w/ The Corre vs. Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov w/ Tamina

Wade Barrett distracts Kozlov long enough for Slater to drop him. Gabriel hits the 450 splash and gets the cover to win.

Winner via pinfall: Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel

After the match, the Corre beat on Santino and Kozlov when Big Show and Kane hit the ring to even the odds. Kane and Show wreck The Corre. Show knocks out Slater and then, with help from Kane, choke slams Ezekiel Jackson.

John Cena gives us an interview via satellite, due to feeling the effects of a concussion from The Miz. Cena says next week he will go face to face with The Rock. He will settle any problems with Rocky. Lawler asks if Cena has underestimated The Miz. Cena says he has, and The Miz has proven himself. Cena tells us he will make history at Wrestlemania.

Michael Cole takes over the show, and he has a worldwide exclusive, next.

After the break, Michael Cole and Jack Swagger are in the ring. Cole revisits last week when he brought out Jerry Lawler’s son, Brian Christopher. Cole then produces the Lawler family photo album. Cole makes fun of Lawler’s family, including his late parents. Cole calls the Lawler family a bunch of losers. That pushes Lawler too far, he takes out Swagger, and chases Cole around the ring, but he runs right into a Swagger clothesline. Cole berates Lawler as Swagger applies the ankle lock. Cole takes over for Swagger, yelling at Lawler to tap out.

Well, WWE got what they wanted from Snooki, a lot of mainstream press. (And something they didn’t, crabs.)

Match #4 – Dolph Ziggler w/ LayCool and Vicki Guerrero vs. John Morrison w/ Trish Stratus

Ziggler beats Morrison down in the middle of the ring until the ref breaks them up. Morrison drives Ziggler into the corner, but Ziggler kicks his way out and follows with a neck breaker. Morrison slides under Ziggler, connects with a drop kick, and then knocks Ziggler from the ring. Michelle McCool leaps to the apron to prevent Morrison from doing anymore damage. Trish runs over and starts to take out the other Divas, when the GM interrupts with an email. He adds LayCool, Vicki, and Trish to the match. Trish can’t wait, and tries to pull Vicki into the ring by her hair. LayCool makes the save.

Match #4 – Dolph Ziggler, LayCool and Vicki Guerrero vs. John Morrison and Trish Stratus

After the break, the match is in progress. Layla tags herself in, forcing Trish into the match. Trish pulls Layla off the top turnbuckle with a head scissors and then chops her across the chest. Michelle kicks Trish in the back from the apron and then tags in. McCool works Trish over, but can’t get the pin. Trish can’t get a tag. Vicki tags in, and misses a leg drop, allowing Trish to get the tag. Morrison takes it to Ziggler, but misses on StarShip pain. Ziggler hits the Zig Zag, and Dolph tags in Vicki, she covers Morrison to get the win.

Winner via pinfall: Dolph Ziggler, LayCool and Vicki Guerrero

We see another piece to hype the Triple H/Undertaker match.

Match #5 – Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio takes down Orton with a drop kick to the knees, but Orton responds with an elbow. Orton then tosses Mysterio out of the ring. Orton retrieves Mysterio and slaps on a head lock in the ring. Mysterio fights Orton off the top turnbuckle and hits a seated senton. Orton hit a scoop slam, but Mysterio counters the elevated DDT. Mysterio looks for the 619, but Orton catches him and delivers the elevated DDT. CM Punk pops up on the Titantron, standing in front of Orton’s bus. Punk says he can’t wait to meet the family. Orton runs to the parking lot, and Punk takes him out with a wrench to the knee. Punk tells Orton he won’t be punting anyone in the head anytime soon; he blows a kiss to Mrs. Orton as she calls for help.

Winner via countout: Rey Mysterio

Alex Riley is in the ring and announces he has been re-hired by The Miz as the VP of Corporate Communications. The Miz tells the crowd they are blessed with the privilege of watching him. Miz is quite proud of his performance as The Rock last week. The champ says he has re-written history as the greatest WWE Champion. Miz then unveils a new logo; he flips the WWE logo upside down to stand for Miz. He also unveils the WWE spinner title, with the logo locked upside down to show an “M”. Miz says the belt is no longer a toy, but the most prestigious title in the world. Miz says he will not be a multi-time champ, because he will never lose the title. John Cena pops in on the TitanTron to respond to tell Miz that he never should have made him angry. Then Cena reveals he is not at home, but in a set from inside the arena. Cena makes a bee line for the ring. Riley and Miz fight Cena, until the Miz runs off. Riley gets locked in the STF, and Riley taps. Miz stops atop the ramp, as Cena stares him down. Cena locks in the STF, again, until WWE official make him break the hold. Cena poses in the ring to end the show.

Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale will be heading to Atlanta for Wrestlemania this year. Follow his adventures on Twitter @DPlummer627.