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Smackdown: Some water is thicker than blood
By DAVE HILLHOUSE -- SLAM! Wrestling


No more stalling; no more detours. Wrestlemania is the next stop, and Del Rio has to start establishing his claim to the World Heavyweight Championship. Plus, a Hall of Famer returns to the ring, Teddy Long does his best Vince McMahon impersonation, and Friday Night lives up to its billing as the WWE’s wrestling show with some good in-ring action.

Teddy Long address the crowd in Sacramento, CA, teaming Vickie Guerrero and Drew McIntyre versus Kelly Kelly and Edge, with Guerrero’s occupational status hanging in the balance. Michael Cole, presumably with no risk of running into Jerry Lawler, sits alongside Josh Matthews and Booker T.

Match #1 – Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Kane chases Mysterio down right off the bat, scoring a near-fall within moments and slowing things down with a body scissors. Every bit of momentum that Mysterio tries to grab is reversed and turned into more punishment by Kane. After the break, Kane has Mysterio stretched out across his knee, stops another Mysterio rush, and locks in a bear hug. Kane finally makes a mistake as Mysterio dodges the big man’s clothesline off the top rope and knocks him onto the ropes for his 619. Kane catches Mysterio in mid-senton off the top rope himself, though, out of which Mysterio wriggles around into a backslide pin for the surprise win.

Winner via pinfall: Rey Mysterio

As Mysterio takes in the crowd’s appreciation, Dusty Rhodes emerges to a great ovation. He gets in the ring and gives Mysterio a fatherly hug. After an oddly-timed commercial break, Rhodes says he’s disappointed in Cody’s behaviour, and calls his son out to apologize. After a moment, Rhodes, sporting a suit and his face mask, enters the ring and makes his complaints. Dusty tells his son that he has lost his focus and taken his eyes off the title prize. Cody actually apologizes to Mysterio and shakes his hand, but as Mysterio shakes Dusty’s hand, The American Dream holds on and lets his son attack Mysterio from behind. Rhodes beats him all the way up the ramp, eventually pulling off his mask and leaving him face down. After the break, Cody and Dusty exchange a hug, with Dusty looking proud of his son clutching Mysterio’s mask.

Match #2 – Rosa Mendes vs. Layla (w/ Michelle McCool)

Mendes and Layla are scrapping on the apron before they tumble to the floor. Mendes throws Layla hard into the barrier, spurring McCool to get involved in the fight. As the ref calls for the bell, Layla is upset at her partner for causing her the loss.

Winner via disqualification: Rosa Mendes

The crowd feels a Barbershop moment in the air between Lay-Cool, but Layla grudgingly walks out of the ring with her partner.

Match #3 – Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston (C)

Swagger wastes no time working on the arm that Del Rio has forced Kingston to tape up – essentially turning it into a target. Kingston drops Swagger and does a rather rare east-west Boom Drop. As he tries to send Swagger across the ring with an Irish Whip, the All-American American counters with a simple smash to the injured arm. Moments later, Swagger has the ankle lock cinched in for the convincing submission victory.

Winner via submission: Jack Swagger

Vickie Guerrero, in her bedazzled “Excuse Me” singlet, is pounding on Teddy Long’s door looking for an audience with the GM – to no avail. Then it’s time for our Raw treat: and they replay Cena’s response to The Rock from last week. After that, we find Guerrero begging Chavo to help her out, but he just reminds her of how poorly she’s treated him over the years.

Match #4 – Big Show vs. Wade Barrett

Wade Barrett enters to the news that Long has banned The Corre from ringside. Big Show starts by tossing his jacket at Cole. Big Show predictably overpowers Barrett early, but Barrett leaps onto his back and brings him down and almost out with a sleeper hold. After the break, Barrett is overconfidently keeping Big Show on the mat. A kick-out by Big Sow sends Barrett right out of the ring, though, and the fight soon spills to the floor. As the ref’s count runs to ten, Big Show slips back in to take the count-out victory.

Winner via count-out: Big Show

The Corre comes on down but Big Show grabs a chair, knocks down Gabriel and chases them all away.

Match #5 – Drew McIntyre & Vickie Guerrero vs. Edge (C) & Kelly Kelly

Standard mixed-tag rules apply: men versus men, women versus women. Guerrero quickly succumbs to Kelly’s screaming assault and tags in McIntyre. The Scotsman has Edge down and out but chooses to use his time to plead his case to Kelly. As Edge makes a comeback, McIntyre dodges an attack in his own corner, opening up the champ to a slap from Guerrero. Edge escapes the Future Shock DDT and sets McIntyre up for the Spear. Guerrero steps in and begs Edge to stop, but Kelly spears Guerrero instead. Edge follows with his own Spear on McIntyre for the win.

Winners via pinfall: Edge & Kelly Kelly; Loser via dismissal: Vickie Guerrero

Long and Edge face off against Guerrero in the ring as Vickie fights back the tears. She grabs the mic and apologizes, then begs, but Long fires her ... again. She gets sympathy from Cole, but not from Edge. Her ex says that he could help her get her job back, but he’d rather sing. He serenades us with another “Na-Na, Hey Hey, Goodbye” treat as Vickie slinks up the ramp broken-hearted. As Edge watches her screaming at the top of the ramp, Del Rio attacks the champ from behind. The show goes off the air with Edge squirming in pain after the Cross Arm Breaker, and Del Rio giving him a wink and a smile.

Dave Hillhouse is a screenwriter and teacher, and hopes that Vickie’s tremendous character is not actually being written out.