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Impact: Anderson, Angle return as TNA heads to Final Resolution
By MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling


Tonight on TNA Impact: With Final Resolution coming up in a few short days, TNA actually gives us some decent build to many of the matches. In the highlight of the show, Robbie E. battles Jay Lethal in a "Jersey Fist Pump Showdown." Elsewhere on the show, Mr. Anderson returns to TNA and in the main event, Jeff Jarrett and Abyss battle Samoa Joe and The Pope. Should be a good one!

As always, tonight's taped show emanates from the Impact Zone in Orlando, Fla. "The Professor" Mike Tenay and The Tazz are our hosts.

Match #1 - Motor City Machine Guns vs. Ink Inc. vs. Generation Me vs. Beer Money

Yeah, this match is already in progress as the show begins. A four-way tag team match is in progress. I have no words. Better yet, everybody is just doing moves. Flips galore already. Better yet, I guess everyone is just doing whatever they want. Sabin comes off a ladder onto both of GenMe on the outside. Then I guess it sort of becomes a tag match. With chaos going on, Beer Money is actually tagging in and out as they work on Shannon Moore. Beer Money complains about a slow count by referee Jackson James and in the midst of their argument, Moore rolls up Roode and gets the fall.

Winners via pinfall: Ink Inc.

Fortune goes nuts afterward. They threaten him and AJ Styles and Kazarian hold him back as Roode runs him down and Storm slaps him. They start slapping him around when Matt Morgan comes down the ramp and takes Flair from behind in a choke. He threatens to choke the life out of Flair if they don't leave James alone. He says if Fortune messes with James again he's going to rip all their heads off and shove them down their throats. That would be impressive.

(Ads)

Mickie James is performing her theme with her band. They perform for a bit when Tara comes out and attacks her. Mickie's dress-shirt pretty much breaks and she spends most of the brawl making sure her ta-tas don't fall out, which leaves her rear exposed.

(Ads)

Match #2 - Douglas WIlliams (The United Kingdom) vs. Kazarian (Anaheim, Calif.)

Kazarian domination, including using a nice slingshot legdrop. Williams goes for the Chaos Theory suplex but Kazarian counters. Kazarian goes for a piledriver but Williams slips behind and hits the rolling Chaos Theory suplex with a bridge for the fall.

Winner via pinfall: Douglas Williams

(Ads)

Brother Devon is on his way out for the first time since being attacked by Brother Ray a few weeks back. Devon calls out Ray. He is nowhere to be found. Ray finally comes out to the ramp. They each argue about where the other should come. I believe Ray is wearing the same type of jacket that the Kings of Wrestling in ROH wear. I'd much rather see them. I mean, this is a no contest. They start arguing and then they bring Taz into the equation. Taz grabs a mic and takes offense to Ray calling him washed up. He says Devon told Ray to get into the ring, "so cross the line and get your ass into the ring." Taz says he is washed up but Devon's not, so "get your ass into the ring." Ray charges the ring and stops once he hits the steps. Devon says Shannon Moore was right a few months ago, Ray really is a douchebag. Crowd then chants it. Devon says no one ever liked Ray and it's because of Devon they lasted as long as they did. Devon charges out of the ring at Ray but Ray grabs So Cal Val and throws her at Devon and runs away.

(Ads)

Match #3 - Sarita (Mexico City, Mexico) vs. Angelina Love (Toronto, Ontario) vs. Madison Rayne (Seattle, Wash.)

Well, as Tara brings Rayne to the ring on the motorcycle, she is attacked by Mickie James. They brawl to the back. Then, in the ring, Rayne hits Sarita in the dome with the title belt before the bell rings.

Well, Rayne and Love go at it for a while and then when Earl Hebner decides to finally check on Sarita, Rayne hits Love with the belt. But Sarita comes in and shoves Rayne out of the ring and pins Love.

Winner via pinfall: Sarita

(Ads)

Angelina is backstage throwing a fit about losing two in a row when she is comforted by Winter. She says now that they are together, they'll never lose.

Match #4 - Matt Morgan (Fairfield, Conn.) vs. Rhino (Detroit, Mich.)

And just when I thought I would never have to see this match against after I saw it on the last TNA house show I went to…

Morgan dominating. He takes him to the outside and Rhino turns it around by low-blowing him. No DQ or anything, of course, even in plain view of the ref. Rhino runs him into the ring post and then brings him back into the ring. Morgan is busted open, naturally. Rhino chokes him on the second rope and then puts the boots to the cut. Morgan hulks up and goes to work. Avalanche in the corner followed by a sidewalk slam for two. Morgan calls for the chokeslam but Rhino elbows his way out but Morgan hits the discus clothesline for two. Rapid-fire elbows in the corner land. Rhino, though, catches Morgan coming into the corner and hits a belly-to-belly. Rhino looking for the Gore but Morgan moves. He follows up with the Carbon Footprint. The referee has to hold up the count as to not hit three as Fortune is late running in. Well, at least this one is a DQ.

Winner via disqualification: Matt Morgan

They all beat on Morgan until Rob Van Dam's music hits. He and Rhino brawl to the back and Fortune continues with Morgan. Jeff Hardy's music hits and he strolls down to the ring. He has a chair. Beer Money is holding Morgan up and Hardy tells them to turn him around so he can hit him in the back of the head. As he's getting ready to wind up, Mr. Anderson's music hits and he runs down and cleans house with a steel pipe, sending everyone scattering.

(Ads)

Anderson has a mic in the ring. He starts out by thanking Morgan. Anderson says he doesn't really remember what he's been doing for the last month (and that's a shoot). He says this is wrestling and these things happen, but he wants to put it out there so Hardy knows what's coming for him and it could be coming at any time. Anderson then says he heard Morgan needs a referee for his title match on Sunday and maybe they should put their heads together and figure it out. Morgan suggests Anderson be the referee. Anderson accepts. Anderson walks up to the camera and has a message for Hardy: "Sunday, I think the bigger man will win."

Mickie and Tara are brawling in the parking lot. Forever and ever. I lack the ability to care about this.

(Ads)

It's time for the Jersey Fist Pump Showdown. I have been waiting all my life for this. Introducing first, repping Seaside Heights, NJ is Robbie E. Our second competitor is the No. 1 contender for the TNA X Division Championship and repping Elizabeth, NJ and that is Jay Lethal

.

Robbie goes and the written word cannot do this justice. Between this and the Jeff Jarrett dojo video, Impact is on a comedic roll. This was so awesome.

Lethal starts to go and fist pumps right into Robbie's face. He clotheslines him over the top rope and they brawl up the ramp and near the announce desk and to the back.

(Ads)

Match #5 - Abyss (Parts Unknown) & Jeff Jarrett (Hendersonville, Tenn.) vs. The Pope (Harlem, NY) & Samoa Joe (Isle of Samoa)

Joe and Pope having trouble co-existing, naturally. Joe puts the boots to Abyss but Pope blind tags himself in. They argue and Abyss comes flying in with a clothesline on both of them. Jarrett in on Pope and he goes for an armbar but Pope gets to the ropes. Jarrett tries to lock in a rear-naked choke but Pope is able to tag Joe as we go into Reaction. Yipee.

Joe going to work on Abyss. Scoop slam for Joe but Abyss comes back with a choke slam. Pope comes in and clotheslines Abyss over the top. Jarrett comes in, I guess he got a blind tag, and puts Pope in the ankle lock. I have no idea who the legal men are. I don't think TNA does either. Pope escapes by thrusting Jarrett forward and of course he goes right into the referee. So the ref's out and Pope immediately gets up and springboards to the outside, taking out Abyss. Jarrett goes to the outside and grabs his guitar. He runs at Joe with it and Joe kicks it and destroys it. He picks up the handle part and crushes it some more as Jarrett cowers in the corner. The referee recovers just in the nick of time to come in and see Joe with the guitar in his hand and smashed pieces about. He calls for the bell. Yippppppppe.

Winners via disqualification: Jeff Jarrett & Abyss

Abyss and Jarrett beat down Pope and Joe. They go to drag Joe into the casket when none other than Kurt Angle pops out of it. Abyss says bring it and eats an Angle Slam. Then Jarrett escapes through the crowd.

Matt Bishop can be reached at bishop20@msu.edu. Please include your name and hometown. Click here to follow Matt on Twitter. Should be a good one!.