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Impact: The Immortals continue their rampage
By MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
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Tonight on TNA Impact: With Dixie Carter given the boot from TNA last week, Eric Bischoff makes it his goal this week to see to it that Mr. Anderson doesn't make it out of this show intact. Facing Kazarian in an Ultimate X match, the Immortals make sure Anderson doesn't make it out of the match. Elsewhere, Mickie James makes her Impact in-ring debut, facing Sarita.

As always, tonight's taped show emanates from the Impact Zone in Orlando, Fla. "The Professor" Mike Tenay and The Tazz are our hosts.

Mr. Anderson is out to start the show. His left arm is completely bandaged up and in a sling from last week's attack by Jeff Hardy. He immediately calls Hardy out. Instead, he gets Rob Van Dam. He says Anderson needs to get in line. Then we get another taped Hardy promo on the screen. He says he did both of them wrong. He says he had Abyss prepare RVD for supper and then beat Anderson at his own game. He asks for forgiveness but chuckles.

Now Eric Bischoff is out. He's got a big smile on his face. He says he has a special invitation for both of them to stick around and watch Reaction to see how he and Hulk Hogan took over TNA. He says he didn't give Anderson the opportunity he should have to become TNA champion. He says he didn't challenge Anderson enough to reach his potential. He says tonight he's going to make it up to him. Tonight, he'll face Kazarian in an Ultimate X match. If he wins, he gets a title shot.

He moves on to RVD. He says RVD will team up with Sabu to face Beer Money.

(Ads)

RVD is upset backstage that a member of EV2 might be in cahoots with Bischoff. He attacks Raven thinking it was him. It's quickly broken up.

Match #1 - Amazing Red (Brooklyn, NY) vs. Robbie E (Jersey Shore)

Red using his speed early, tattooing Robbie with kicks early. Red to the top rope. He goes for a crossbody but Robbie sidesteps him and shoves him into the mat. He quickly hits the reeling Red with a Cutter and that's it.

Winner via pinfall: Robbie E

After the match, Robbie says he's going to do what just did to Red to Jay Lethal and then bling out the X-Division championship.

The Pope is at a strip club in Harlem. Seriously. He calls out AJ Styles. He wants the TNA World Television Championship. He interrupts the dance a woman at what I'm sure is a fine establishment is giving him to cut this promo. Because I know if I were, hypothetically, of course, ever at a strip club, I'd interrupt a personal dance to cut a promo on AJ Styles.

(Ads)

Fortune is backstage chatting it up about their matches tonight. They are amused at their challengers. Styles says he's going to put his TV title on the line against The Pope in a street fight tonight. Then he looks for the title and Flair finds it, but of course, he's been Iced again. They go through that when Bischoff comes in the break up the party. Bischoff says in fairness to Pope that if Fortune interferes in the match in any way, Styles will be stripped of the title.

The Beautiful People are in the makeup room as usual chatting it up. Miss Tessmacher comes up and wants their help in becoming a wrestler. They tell her to get lost. Then Velvet and Lacey leave to go to the gym leaving Angelina. Then, suddenly standing behind her is Winter (the former Katie Lea Burchill from WWE, you might recall). She says she's been an admirer of Angelina and has waited a long time to meet her. They shake hands and then Velvet comes back to get her purse and Angelina goes to introduce them when Winter is suddenly gone. Velvet tells her she needs sleep. Can't wait to see where this one is going.

(Ads)

Match #2 - Street Fight for the TNA World Television Championship - (c) AJ Styles (Gainesville, Ga.) vs. The Pope (Harlem, NY)

Styles doesn't leave the ramp area and invites Pope to the stage area. He obliges. They brawl back to the ringside area. Styles gets the worst of shots into the ring steps and the ring post. Pope chokes Styles with his fist tape and throws him in the ring, but Styles takes advantage of Pope's delay getting in the ring and hits him with a low blow. Referee Earl Hebner, who apparently also can't remember half the stipulations on this overbooked show, chastises Styles for his behavior. Styles not so politely reminds him it's all legal.

Pope fires up with some strikes. Then Styles gets his timing and ducks a few and hits some of his own, but Pope outsmarts him when Styles ducks and hits a three-punch combo for a two count. Pope ends up on the outside. Styles tries a slingshot but Pope moves and hits a clothesline. He throws Styles back in the ring and is stalking him when Abyss comes out of nowhere and drills Pope. Hebner again chastises Styles again. Styles just puts his arm around him and laughs. Abyss wrecks Pope, hits the Black Hole Slam. Styles pins him as Hebner, in disgust or something, is horrible at his job and makes a super slow count. Pope is buried further as he can't kick out of a count that lasted about six seconds.

Winner via pinfall and STILL TNA World Television Champion: AJ Styles

(Ads)

Pope is walking backstage when he bumps into Samoa Joe. Pope says he hopes Joe enjoyed the view as he got beatdown. Pope basically suggests they form an alliance against the Immortals. Joe keeps walking.

(Ads)

Jeff Jarrett is out. He says if Kurt Angle was in the ring with him right now, he said he'd tell him he regrets not kicking the crap out of him more than he did. Jarrett says he gave Angle a job when no one wanted him. He says he's stripped Angle of everything: His dignity, pride, honor and his career. He continues when Samoa Joe's music hits. He does not look happy.

He has some pep in his step walking to the ring when he is stopped by Gunner and Murphy. They quickly overwhelm Joe with the numbers game and handcuff him just like they did the Angle last week but Joe turns it around and chokes Jarrett with them but Gunner and Murphy make the save. Now they restrain Joe and Jarrett takes him and throws him off the side of the ramp. Then Tenay blows a gasket on Jarrett. Jarrett walks over toward the announce desk as Tenay continues to chew him out. The camera finally looks down on Joe. You can see blood on the ground and Jarrett says, "it looks like Joe needs a little help."

(Ads)

Match #3 - Beer Money Inc. vs. Rob Van Dam (Battle Creek, Mich.) & Sabu (Bombay, Michigan)

Sabu gets rolling with a tornado DDT on Storm. Both men tag their partners. RVD on fire. He drops Sabu onto Roode and then hits a standing moonsault. RVD comes in with Rolling Thunder and Sabu hits a leg drop. Sabu and Storm go to the outside as Roode hits a Double R Spinebuster on RVD. They go for the DWI but RVD gets out. Storm hits Roode with the beer spit but Roode kicks out of the rollup at two. Sabu brings a chair in for some reason. He throws at Storm but he ducks and it drills RVD. Storm dumps Sabu out of the ring and Roode pins RVD.

Winners via pinfall: Beer Money Inc.

RVD and Sabu get in a shoving match and are about to square off when EV2 bolts down to break it up.

(Ads)

Match #4 - Sarita (Mexico City, Mexico) vs. Mickie James (Richmond, Va.)

Some chain wrestling early. James hits some kicks. Sarita goes for a crossbody but James moves. Sarita takes a powder and James goes for a baseball slide but Sarita catches her, but it only goes against her as James hits a head scissors takeover. That momentum doesn't last as Sarita throws James into the steps. Sarita with some knees. Sarita shoves James into the corner and hits some knees. She brings her out and locks her in a rack/airplane spin combo but James reverses into a rollup for two. Sarita runs into a back elbow and James hits another head scissors takeover. James hits a spinning back kick and that's it.

Winner via pinfall: Mickie James

James doesn't have much time to celebrate as Tara attacks James and hits the Widow's Peak.

(Ads)

Mr. Anderson is walking backstage when he is ruthlessly attacked by all of Fortune. They pick him up and bring him onto the stage. They continue the beatdown and then just leave him on the stage.

Match #5 - Mr. Anderson (Green Bay, Wisc.) vs. Kazarian (Anaheim, Calif)

Kazarian feigns shock as he comes out. And despite Anderson being in pain and still on the stage, the referee rings the bell. I cannot make this up. Typical TNA. Kazarian starts to climb for the X but Anderson pulls it together to stop Kazarian just in time.

Anderson looks under the ring for something but Kazarian hits him with a sliding dropkick and puts the boots to him.

(Ads)

We're back and Kazarian is climbing but Anderson is able to swing him down. Then Anderson tries to climb with one arm. He falls. Hammerlock slam for Kazarian. He follows with a leg drop to the arm. Kazarian picks him up but eats a jawbreaker (not the candy, although that would be par for the course on this show). Kazarian puts Anderson down then springboards to the cables. He gets to the middle again but Anderson pulls him down right into the Mic Check. With Kazarian down, Anderson goes under the ring and finds a ladder and brings it in as a way for him to get the X.

He climbs the ladder and nearly has the match won when Fortune comes out. Matt Morgan grabs Anderson and hits a sit-out power bomb. Then Morgan puts Kazarian on his shoulders and walks him over to the X. He's got it.

Winner via grabbing the X: Kazarian

They show Anderson crawling under the ring and coming out the other side with a steel pipe. He hits Morgan and Douglas Williams with it. Then Jeff Hardy comes from behind and cranks him with a chair shot in the back of the head that looked liked it sucked big time. Anderson is bleeding profusely from the back of his head. Hardy grabs the ladder and puts Anderson's bad arm between in and hits it with the chair.

Flair and Bischoff are backstage walking out of the Impact Zone into a waiting SUV, apparently on their way to a club. Then the car stops and Kurt Angle is standing in front of the SUV with a steel pipe of his own. He grabs the driver out and then smashes the back window before Gunner and Murphy make the save. Flair insists they call the cops and put Angle in jail.

Matt Bishop can be reached at bishop20@msu.edu. Please include your name and hometown. Click here to follow Matt on Twitter. Should be a good one!.