Impact: Flair continues to be 'The Man'
MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight on TNA Impact: Ric Flair continues to be TNA's MVP in 2010. Tonight, Flair meets with long-time rival Mick Foley in one of the best segments on Impact this year to set up their last man standing match at next week's special live edition of Impact. Elsewhere, Abyss and Kurt Angle meet in a steel cage match for no particular reason that just ends out of the blue.
As always, tonight's taped show emanates from the Impact Zone in Orlando, Fla. "The Professor" Mike Tenay and The Tazz are our hosts.
Kurt Angle is out to start the show. He talks about Hulk Hogan and wants to thank him for believing in him. Angle says Hogan asked him a favor and he won't let him down on that either. Tonight, Angle will face Abyss in a steel cage match. Angle says tonight, he's going to cut the cancer out of TNA and that's Abyss. This brings Abyss out and Angle meets him in the crowd. They brawl. What? They brawl some more. How many backstage brawls are there in TNA every week? Abyss happens to find a conveniently placed ladder in the locker room area and hits Angle with it. He misses a chair shot and Angle grabs it and hits him twice and makes a comeback. This brawl just won't die. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, the usual bunch of idiots come in and break them up. These brawl segments have to stop.
We're back and this brawl is still going despite the usual bunch of idiots. Finally, a match.
Match #1 - Lumberjack Match - Beer Money Inc. vs. Tommy Dreamer (Yonkers, NY) & Rhino (Detroit, Mich.)
The remaining members of Fortune and EV2 are the lumberjacks. I'm sure this will end well.
Rhino goes for the Gore early but bails out to the floor, right into EV2. They (not to be confused with the "they" Abyss refers to) throw him back into the ring without much damage. Roode drills Rhino with knees. Storm dumps Rhino to the outside and Fortune members prove they are much smarter than EV2 by putting the boots to him until EV2 members come over and they back off. Rhino, though, drops Roode with a belly-to-belly. Both men make tags and Dreamer is running wild. He goes for the DVD but Storm counters and goes for the Last Call Superkick but Dreamer counters that into a crossface. That's broken up by Roode. Rhino clotheslines himself and Roode over the top and it all breaks down. I'm just as shocked as you are. Big brawl outside. With the ref distracted, AJ Styles spits something into Dreamer's eyes and Storm hits a backcracker but Dreamer kicks out. Storm goes for a beer bottle shot but Dreamer counters that into the DVD and wins it.
Winners via pinfall: Tommy Dreamer & Rhino
After the match, Foley calls out Flair and wants him to meet him in the ring to clear the air. Foley says they need to have a conversation.
Time for the segment with Foley and Flair. Foley says he doesn't want to talk to Ric Flair the wrestling god, he wants to talk to Ric Flair the man. Flair turns around and says here he is. Foley challenges Flair to a match on the live Impact, he proposes they go one-on-one for the very last time. Flair drops his mic and goes outside and grabs Foley's book from a woman in the crowd. Flair is indignant that Foley would want to wrestle him. Flair drops Foley's book and goes all nutty on it. First he stomps it. Then he elbow drops it. Then he woos. Then he goes off the ropes and knee drops it. He stands and kicks it out of the ring. He says his answer is yes.
Foley says Flair has brought out the best in him. Flair says that's what he does for a living. Then he starts punching himself in the face, making himself bleed. Foley starts doing the same, making himself bleed. Flair says Foley is an out of shape family man. Crowd chants "Foley." They each tell each other to take their best shot. Flair says next week, just like at WrestleMania 24, he'll have his whole family in the front row. But this time, it won't be to see his retirement, it will be to see the end of Foley and EV2. Foley says Flair is renewed. Flair says it's good that Foley's balls are back but next week, he's going to beat him within an inch of his life. Foley asks Flair that next Thursday night that he faces him not in any match, but in a last man standing match. Flair's expression changes. Then he lights up and accepts. Flair says if he loses to Foley, Foley can turn around, pull down his pants and Flair will kiss his ass. Foley says to get ready for that. Then Flair goes absolutely nutty and leaves the ring. Bang bang, Foley says.
Do whatever you have to do to see this segment. It was awesome.
Match #2 - Ink Inc. vs. Generation Me
Match is going and Max Buck lands poorly and goes to the outside. Once the refereee is distracted by him, Jeremy Buck comes in and slams Neal from behind. With his opponent down, Max rolls right back into the ring. Generation Me dominating but Neal rolls and brings in Shannon Moore. Moore on fire against Max. Spinning heel kick lands for Moore for two on a save by Jeremy. Moore slings Jeremy out of the ring and hits a springboard moonsault that is broken up by Jeremy. Breaking down now. Max hits Moore with a low blow behind the referee's back and that's enough to get the roll up.
Winners via pinfall: Generation Me
The Bucks ambush Neal after the match as he checks on Moore. They go to hit the draping DDT but the Motor CIty Machine Guns make the save and run them off and reclaim their title.
Match #3 - Mr. Anderson (Green Bay, Wisc.) vs. Samoa Joe (Isle of Samoa)
Joe's barely in the ring when The Pope's music plays. He comes out to the ramp and goes to commentary. Trailing him is Kevin Nash and Sting who stand behind commentary.
Joe is ruining Anderson in the ring. Anderson gets going but misses a round kick and Joe locks in a sleeper hold. It's not quite the Coquina Clutch. Anderson fights it and uses a chinbuster to break the hold. He quickly hits the Mic Check and that's it.
Winner via pinfall: Mr. Anderson
Nash comes to ringside and yells at Joe that he has one last chance to join them.
Nash, Sting and Pope are in the ring. He says the three men in the ring know what's going on. Pope says he's calling out Eric Bischoff for being a liar, a cheat and a con man. Pope says in this game, Bischoff and Hogan are coming out on the losing end. Sting says at Bound For Glory he wants to add to the Nash/Sting vs. Joe/Jarrett match. He suggests they add Pope, obviously. Sting suggests that Hogan laces 'em up one more time to join with Joe and Jarrett. Sting says no more games and wants to show the world what's really going on.
This brings Eric Bischoff out. He says those guys are showing their true colors. Bischoff says he told Nash and Sting 15 years ago that they were nearing the twilight of their careers. So what stage are their careers in today, I ask? He says they were selfish then and they are selfish now. He says the only conspiracy is in Pope's head. He says they are cowards for calling out Hogan. He says Hogan will be here live next week on Impact and will answer for himself.
Backstage, AJ Styles is ranting about wanting Brian Kendrick to Ric Flair. Then he tells Flair he dropped his wallet. Flair goes to grab it and finds out that he's been iced yet again. This is the gift that keeps on giving.
Match #4 - TNA World Television Championship - (c) AJ Styles (Gainesville, Ga.) vs. Brian Kendrick (Venice, Calif.)
Kendrick gets going with a series of dropkicks but is immediately dropped with a back elbow. Tornado DDT connects for Kendrick. He goes to the top and instead of going into the ring, he flies down onto Matt Morgan. Styles goes for a suicide dive but Kendrick drills him with a kick. He goes to the top but Flair takes the referee and Morgan crotches Kendrick. Styles recovers, grabs Kendrick off the top and hits the Styles Clash and that's it.
Winner via pinfall and STILL TNA World Television Champion: AJ Styles
Match #5 - Steel Cage Match - Abyss (Parts Unknown) vs. Kurt Angle (Pittsburgh, Pa.)
In this cage match, Janice is allowed in the ring. Angle grabs it and throws it over the top of the cage. This makes Abyss very distraught and Angle takes advantage.
We're back and Abyss is in control. He throws Angle into two different sides of the cage. Angle is bleeding and Abyss punches the cut several times. Tenay and Tazz act like they've never seen blood before. Abyss is rolling. He goes for a power slam but Angle slips out and clips him. Punches for Angle lay Abyss out. Angle climbs to the top rope and hits a Frog Splash for two. Angle charges Abyss but gets caught by the throat. Abyss pulls him up but Angle rolls out and briefly locks in the ankle lock. Abyss pushes out and hits the choke slam for two.
Shock Treatment hits for Abyss but he can only get two. Abyss goes for a splash off the top but Angle moves and hits the Angle Slam for two. Angle calls for the door to be opened. He stops referee Brian Hebner from opening it, though. He sets Abyss up in the middle of the ring and starts climbing the cage. Abyss starts stirring, though. And that's where Impact goes off the air.
So hopefully the DVR holds out to catch the rest of this match on the extra time I added. If it doesn't, blame TNA.
Abyss throws Hebner into the cage for no apparent reason. Angle jumps onto Abyss and both men are down. They get up and Abyss hits a choke slam. Now Abyss is trying to get Hebner up. Then Mr. Anderson comes down. He climbs into the cage and goes after Abyss. For his troubles, he eats a Black Hole Slam. Abyss looking for a way out but he doesn't have the key for the door. So he just rips the door off. That makes sense. He goes and grabs Janice but Angle cuts him off before he gets back into the ring. Now Angle has Janice. And they just cut away.
This match had no conclusion
My brain cannot even begin to comprehend that finish. So what exactly happens when the referee gets up? Does he just walk out and pat himself on the back for a job well done? Seriously. This is absurd. How is it even possible for a cage match to not have a conclusion? Each week on Impact they manage to do things I thought weren't possible in this business. NXT might be a joke of a show but it makes more sense than Impact ever will.
Matt Bishop can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please include your name and hometown. Click here to follow Matt on Twitter. Should be a good one!.