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COMMENT





WWE NXT: Season 3 opens with burials, botches, more
By MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling


Tonight on WWE NXT: There are very few shows that leave you laughing uproariously while scratching your head at the same time. Tuesday's debut of NXT Season 3 did just that, as the bizarre show was one of constant burials, a botched finish the likes of which has not been seen in ages and one that left viewers wondering if this show is one giant rib. Should be a good one!

And we are "LIVE!" from Baltimore, Maryland. Michael Cole and Josh Mathews are our commentators and Matt Striker and Ashley Valance are our hosts. This show is presented in WWEHD (TV-PG,V).

It's time to bring out all the pros and rookies. Vickie Guerrero is last with her mystery rookie Kaitlyn.

Striker says it's time for the WWE Universe to meet the divas. Kaitlyn is first. She says she's not the girl next door. She's from two doors down. She says she gave you your first kiss and then gave you a wedgie.

Guerrero steps in and tells Kaitlyn that wasn't good enough and for her to do it again. This time, she does it and puts Guerrero over. This appeases her.

Aksana is up next and she says she is here to entertainment (sic) us. Maxine is next and she is the first to get the "WHAT?" chants.

AJ is up next. She says for 13 years she wanted to be a Diva. Cole and Mathews bury her for living the dream. This show. Already.

Jamie says she doesn't put anything less than 110 percent into anything that she does. Cole asks if she is reading off a teleprompter. Naomi says talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words. Cole likes her promo.

(Ads)

It's now competition time. I don't know what could even top the last segment. Striker says the first elimination is in four weeks and the rookie with the most competition wins is immune. The first challenge is a dance challenge. And the rookies have to dance with Michael Cole. I cannot make this up. He is wearing some ridiculous outfit. I am losing the ability to type right now. Cole dances with Naomi and Jamie. Then Striker brings in Tony Chimel to dance with AJ and Maxine. Then Josh Mathews gets to dance with Aksana and Kaitlyn.

I wish I could describe this segment, but I just can't. I can't transcribe every line of commentary. Go to WWE's YouTube channel and watch this. This is one of the all-time strangest shows in WWE history and it's only half hour. I mean, the burials are off the charts here.

Match #1 - Alicia Fox & Maxine vs. Kelly Kelly & Naomi

Naomi in early and she runs wild on Fox. Looks good doing it but she gets caught with a backbreaker. Heels isolate Naomi. Fox has her in a chinlock, but Naomi with a very unique escape, busting Fox's head on top of her's by going into the splits.

Then Naomi rolls up Maxine, the ref counts it, Fox comes in and can break it up but doesn't. Then Kelly hits her, the ref finishes the count. The bell rings, the music plays and all four keep going. Kelly and Fox brawl to the outside and Naomi hits Maxine with a suplex and pins her, only the ref is outside the ring. He comes in and tells Naomi it's over. This show.

Winners via pinfall: Kelly Kelly & Naomi

(Ads)

It is now time for the NXT Physical Challenge. They have to run a grab flags off a pole. It's like musical chairs with one less flag at each pole. Jamie is gone first, then AJ. Aksana is done next. Then Kaitlyn. It's down to Maxine and Naomi. Naomi easily takes the last flag.

Striker gives her the mic to cut a promo. She's panting and asks the crowd for a few seconds and they actually cheer and give her time. Here's your leader in the clubhouse, folks.

(Ads)

Match #2 - Goldust & Aksana vs. Primo & AJ

A very quick match that ends when AJ pins Aksana.

Winners via pinfal: Primo & AJ

After the match, Vickie Guerrero comes down with Kaitlyn and wants Kaitlyn to give her opening speech again. This upsets Primo and AJ. The scene ends with Kaitlyn crashing into Vickie and Vickie throwing and fit and walking off.

Matt Bishop can be reached at bishop20@msu.edu. Please include your name and hometown. Click here to follow Matt on Twitter. Should be a good one!.