RAW: Another very Brady Monday Night
DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
Last week, I may have jumped the gun on two things. First, despite the emails, the GM is not Stone Cold Steve Austin. That was just a tease. And second, the guest host may not be done, as tonight, Florence Henderson, aka Mrs. Brady (Google it, kids), takes over the duties from Lexington, Kentucky.
In case you missed it last week, John Cena attacked Nexus and now must face all seven members in a handicapped match. Although, Cena destroyed Darren Young at the end of last week’s show, so he is already out.
The former champ kicks off the show, thanking all the superstars that helped him out last week. Cena says someone was missing, Sheamus. Cena wants Sheamus to know that they are all in this together. Cena then cuts a promo on Sheamus for their upcoming steel cage match on Sunday.
Wade Barrett leads his Nexus onto the stage, and he tells Cena that they are going to wait for the match, where they can do whatever they want. Cena tries to respond, but the GM breaks in with an email.
Michael Cole reads the statement that says if any superstar gets involved tonight, they will be suspended 90 days, but all Nexus members must tag in and out of the match legally, or they do will be suspended. Cena tells Barrett that Nexus may take him down tonight, but he is going to take a few of them with him.
Eve Torres joins Cole and The King at the announce table for the next match.
Match #1 – Alicia Fox vs. Gail Kim
Alicia blocks Kim’s finishers and counters with the scissors kick for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Alicia Fox
After the match, Alicia taunts Eve, and the GM has seen enough. He has decided to award Eve another rematch to win back the Divas Title, and it will take place on Sunday.
(I was on the fence about this PPV, but this match just pushed me over the edge.)
Match #2 – The Hart Legacy and Natalya vs. The Usos and Tamina – 6 Person Tag Match
Tyson Kidd knocks Jimmy out of the ring, but Tamina hangs Kidd on the ropes while the ref is distracted. Kidd is double teamed in the corner, but avoids a charge and is able to get the tag. Smith gets a pin, but Tamina runs in to pull him off. Natalya jumps in, taking Tamina to the floor. Jey Uso gets the tag, unbeknownst to Smith. Jey kicks DH in the face, and then hits a frog splash from the top turnbuckle. Jey covers and gets the win.
Winner via pinfall: The Usos and Tamina
Wade Barrett thanks Chris Jericho for everything that he has taught him. Barrett tracks down Yoshii Tatsu, who is then jumped by the rest of Nexus, for helping Cena last week.
Ted DiBiase and Maryse enter the ring; DiBiase would like to introduce the Million Dollar Couple, but unfortunately for Maryse, Ted is talking about the Money in the Bank briefcase. John Morrison joins the couple, insulting Maryse. She responds in French, but we all now eventually she will quit, just like their national soccer team. DiBiase has heard enough, and jumps Morrison, but he blocks Dream Street. Morrison looks for Starship Pain, but Maryse pulls her man from the ring.
We return from break, and get a parody of the Brady Bunch intro, with Santino forming a team to face a William Regal-led team; although, there is a Doink the Clown in the group. Florence Henderson tells Santino she is excited to host Monday Night Raw. (This skit has a laugh track, but it doesn’t work for William Regal.) Florence tells him it’s because he isn’t funny. Santino tries for a kiss, but Florence shoots him down.
Match #3 – Edge vs. Randy Orton
Edge drives Orton into the corner, but Orton reverses positions and beats Edge down. Orton keeps up the pressure, beats Edge on the apron and then catapults Edge into the bottom rope. Edge hits the floor and Orton follows. Edge gets back in the ring, and kicks Orton off the apron. Edge kicks Orton in the head, but Orton recovers and connects with a scoop slam. Edge stops the momentum by tossing Orton out of the ring, and we go to commercial.
After the break, Edge slaps on a chin lock in the middle of the ring. Edge stands up into a sleeper, but Orton counters into a back suplex to break the hold. Orton follows with a clothesline and another scoop slam. Orton grabs Edge from the apron, but Edge counters the elevated DDT with a face buster. Orton kicks out at two. Edge looks for the spear, and Orton counters with a punt. Edge blocks the RKO, and Orton counters the ensuing spear, but Edge kicks out of the roll up. Orton connects with a spine buster, but Chris Jericho walks to the ring. A distracted Orton is rolled up by Edge, who gets the pin.
Winner via pinfall: Edge
After the bell, Jericho hits the Code Breaker on Edge, but is then RKO’ed by Orton. Evan Bourne runs in, kicking Orton in the face. Bourne climbs the turnbuckle, but Orton counters Air Bourne with a RKO in mid air.
Josh Matthews tries to find out what Nexus is planning to do on NXT tomorrow. Skip Sheffield walks away, and runs into Morrison, who is quickly surrounded. Morrison tries to fight his way out, but is overrun by the numbers.
The Miz says talk is cheap, and shows how he took R-Truth out last week. Miz brags about knocking Truth out of the Money in the Bank match, before Miz can spout his catch phrase, the GM fires off another email. The Miz will face R-Truth’s replacement tonight. The GM says just when you think you know all the answers, I change the questions. (Sounds like a Roddy Piper line.)
Match #4 – The Miz vs. Mark Henry
Henry blocks a cheap shot, and presses Miz over his head before dropping him to the floor. Miz rolls to the floor, and Henry follows. The World’s Strongest Man charges, but Miz ducks out of the way, and Henry crashes head first into the GM podium. He goes down hard, and Miz showers him with trash.
Florence Henderson is introduced as the special ring announcer.
Match #5 – William Regal, Zac Ryder, Primo, and Doink the Clown vs. Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, The Great Khali, and Golddust
Regal is distracted when Florence tries on his robe. This allows Santino to actually strike with the Cobra, but the rest of Regal’s team breaks up the pin. After things calm down, Doink tries to slam Khali. When he can’t he shoots Khali in the face with a squirt gun, but Khali hits the big overhand chop, and covers Doink to get the win.
Winner via pinfall: Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, The Great Khali, and Golddust
After the bell, Santino wants some lovin’, but Florence is more interested in Khali, who plants a kiss on her.
Edge talks to Josh Matthews, and thanks Jericho for the wake-up call. Edge realizes he needs eyes in the back of his head, but Edge has a secret. There’s a voice that reminds him to be ruthless.
Evan Bourne is getting treatment in the back, when Sheamus tells him he would have done a lot worse. Nexus walks up, and Sheamus sells Bourne out. Nexus destroys Bourne. Sheamus taunts him, until Nexus starts to size him up. Sheamus takes off, looking for Cena.
Match #6 – John Cena vs. The Nexus (Wade Barrett, David Otunga, Michael Tarver, Skip Sheffield, Heath Slater, and Justin Gabriel)
Cena and Tarver square off, and Cena drives him into the corner. Cena hits a suplex, and Tarver tags in Gabriel. Cena beats on Gabriel, who tags in Sheffield. Cena fights his way out of the corner, and the Nexus regroups. Nexus surround the ring, and Slater is able to land a cheap shot. Slater gets a tag, and hits a series of suplexes. Otunga tags in, taking down Cena with a clothesline. Otunga follows with a suplex. Cena counters with a suplex, but Barrett gets a tag from Otunga. Barrett shoots Cena off the ropes, and takes him down with a big boot. Cena recovers with a shoulder block and then a sidewalk slam. Cena hits Barrett with the five knuckle shuffle. Barrett staggers around, allowing Sheffield to make a blind tag. A clothesline sends Cena to the mat, and Otunga tags in. The A-List hits a spinebuster, and tags Gabriel in, who connects on the 450 splash. Gabriel covers and gets the win.
Winner via pinfall: The Nexus
The Nexus surround Cena, but he is able to escape and grab a chair. The Nexus scatters to the floor, as Barrett tries to rally the troops. They surround the ring, but Sheamus runs in with a chair, swinging away at Nexus. Sheamus and Cena run Nexus off as the show ends.
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003.