Impact: Abyss loses his mind, The Band stripped
MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight on TNA Impact: With the Championship Committee unable to decide on a No. 1 contender, Mr. Anderson, Abyss and Jeff Hardy meet in a triple threat match for the designation in the main event, a match that ends in Abyss going loco and attacking both his opponents after the match. Elsewhere, the committee updates its top-10 rankings and strips The Band of the World Tag Team Championship. Should be a good one!
Eric Bischoff is backstage at his desk and he says because of personal issues involving Scott Hall, The Band has been stripped of the TNA World Tag Team Championship and there will be a tournament to decide who faces the Motor City Machine Guns at Victory Road for the vacant titles.
As always, tonight's taped show emanates from the Impact Zone in Orlando, Fla. "The Professor" Mike Tenay and The Tazz are our hosts.
Match #1 - Kevin Nash (Detroit, Mich.) & Eric Young (Canada) vs. Shannon Moore (Whispering Pines, NC) & Jesse Neal (Orlando, Fla.)
This is a semifinal match in the tag team tournament.
The Band works over Jesse Neal in the early going. In a classic TNA moment, Kevin Nash takes up residence on the side of the mat that blocks the hard camera. Neal is really getting worked over here. He can't get anywhere near a tag. Young gloats a takes a pre-victory lap around the ring. Young goes to the top rope and hits an elbow drop for a near fall. Irish whip into the corner and Neal hits a charging Young with an elbow but it's not enough to get to Moore.
Finally, Neal mounts enough offense to get to Moore, who comes in on fire. Moore puts Young on the top rope and hits a hurricarana and, in probably the most comedic moment of the match, Kevin Nash comes in to make the save. Nash goes for the Jackknife on Moore, but Neal spears him. Then they hit a double-team Mooregasm on Young to pick up the fall.
Winners via pinfall: Ink Inc.
Ric Flair's music hits and he, AJ Styles, Kazarian, Desmond Wolfe and Beer Money make their way onto the ramp. Flair says he is about to make an announcement that will rewrite wrestling's history books.
Backstage, Chelsea is telling Abyss that he wants to be with her. Abyss says she won't want to be with him after tonight.
In the ring, Flair says they are reforming the Four Horsemen and it will be called "Forture" and they will change the TNA forever.
He then runs down Styles for losing to Jay Lethal on Sunday at Slammiversary. He doesn't get too far into the rant before Lethal's music hits. Lethal is out doing his Flair impression. He says as far as he's concerned, the Horsemen were there, took a dump in that ring and out came that. Flair chucks his coat into the crowd and attempts to throw his shoe at Lethal. I cannot possibly describe what is going on here. Insanity. Flair drops an elbow on the mat — no suit coat. They get into a Woo-Off. Flair throws his other shoe. They make Space Mountain references, fat girl references, 60-minute references. Eventually, Desmond Wolfe challenges Lethal to a match, which is accepted. Flair says if Wolfe wins, he's in Fortune, if not, he's done.
Match #2 - Hernandez (Houston, Texas) vs. Samoa Joe (American Samoa)
Joe stomps a mud hole into Hernandez in the corner but gets caught eventually by a slingshot shoulderblock and a clothesline by Hernandez. Joe breaks out and hits some punches but when Joe comes off the ropes, Hernandez sends him flying with a shoulderblock and sends him outside. With the referee checking on Joe, Matt Morgan comes running in and low blows Hernandez. Joe comes in and hits a T-Bone suplex and gets the pin.
Winner via pinfall: Samoa Joe
Joe sees the replay of what happened when he goes up the ramp and as he enters the ring, both Joe and Hernandez go after Morgan, who bails out of the ring and to the back. They announce Hernandez and Morgan will meet in a steel cage at Victory Road.
Styles and Wolfe are backstage and Styles tells Wolfe to get his girl in line.
Douglas Williams is in the ring. He says the X-Division as it was is now dead after he rendered it so with one incredible high-flying maneuver. He says the division will now be synonymous with the ground-and-pound, mat-based style that he is famous for. And he'll give an example tonight.
Match #3 - Douglas Williams (The United Kingdom) vs. Max Buck (Southern California)
As promised, Williams works his ground-and-pound, mat-based style on Buck. Buck elbows his way out of an abdominal stretch but he doesn't go far, as Williams hits a jumping knee and a series of suplexes. He goes for the tornado DDT but Buck moves and hits a snapmare for two. But Williams quickly goes back and hits the tornado DDT and finishes him off.
Winner via pinfall: Douglas Williams
After the match, Williams starts choking Buck until Brian Kendrick makes the save and chokes out Williams.
Angelina Love is in the ring. She says she is not going to waste another moment of time. She says she'll dispatch of Lacey Von Erich this week, Velvet Sky next week and Madison Rayne at Victory Road to reclaim her title.
Match #4 - Angelina Love (Toronto, Ontario) vs. Lacey Von Erich (Los Angeles, Calif.)
Love catches Von Erich coming into the ring and just blasts her right into the turnbuckle mouth-first. Von Erich jumps over Love and hits a drop-toe hold (seriously). She mounts Love in the corner and lands some punches but gets power bombed out. Love then grabs a chair and DDT's Von Erich on it right in front of the referee.
Winner via disqualification: Lacey Von Erich
Match #5 - Team 3D (New York City) vs. Robert Roode (Toronto, Ontario) & James Storm (Leiper's Fork, Tenn.)
This is a semifinal match in the tag team tournament.
Some double-team moves pull Team 3D out in front, but Beer Money gets going with Roode. He hits a double suplex on Devon with Storm but they can't capitalize. All four men are in the ring now. Brother Ray dispatches of Storm and they combine for a Doomsday Device on Roode. They set up for 3D, but Brother Ray sees Ink Inc at the broadcast booth and just leaves the ring when going for the move. Ray brawls with them. In the ring, Storm spits beer in Devon's face and then rolls him up for the win.
Winners via pinfall: Beer Money, Inc.
Match #6 - Desmond Wolfe (London, England) vs. Jay Lethal (Elizabeth, NJ)
Wolfe attacks immediately, knocking Lethal off the top rope as he enters the ring. Wolfe, though, doesn't capitalize on his moves, taking every opportunity to scold Chelsea. She tries to walk away but trips. Lethal comes from behind and lights him up and Chelsea scurries to the back. Things do not go well in the ring for Wolfe, as Lethal quickly dispatches of him with an elevator neckbreaker for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Jay Lethal
Wolfe is not happy, attacking Lethal and hitting a snapdown. Flair comes out and Wolfe holds Lethal and Flair goes to town. Then Hulk Hogan's music hits. Flair now is mad. He and Wolfe bail. Hogan has some sweet red and yellow Nike's. I want.
Hogan has a mic and calls Flair back out to the stage. He books Lethal against Flair at Victory Road. Flair is mad again.
The new TNA contender rankings are here and are as follows:
10. Kurt Angle
9. Desmond Wolfe
8. The Pope
7. Jay Lethal
6 Samoa Joe
4. AJ Styles
Later tonight, Mr. Anderson, Abyss and Jeff Hardy will meet in a No. 1 contenders match.
Jeff Jarrett is in the ring and he calls out Sting. He asks Sting to take his sunglasses off. He then goes into shoot mode, calling him Steve. Jarrett says he called Sting when he first stated TNA so they could work together. Jarrett says they've always treated each other with honor and respect, but that ended at Sacrifice. Jarrett said Steve Borden made one mistake: He left him standing. Jarrett says they are going to have a rematch next week.
Match #7 - No. 1 Contenders Match - Mr. Anderson (Green Bay, Wisc.) vs. Abyss (Parts Unknown) vs. Jeff Hardy (Cameron, NC)
Anderson and Hardy work together early. Then they get upset when the other tries to pin Abyss. So Abyss makes them pay with a double spear. He hits a big splash on Anderson but Hardy has an elbow waiting for him. He hits the whisper in the wind. Hardy sends Abyss into the guard rail on the outside. In the ring, Anderson appears to be setting Hardy up but instead hits Abyss. Hardy slingshots onto Abyss. They are back to working Abyss over. All three men are outside the ring when the bell rings out of nowhere.
This is a triple countout
Anderson is arguing on the apron with the ref when Abyss pulls him down. Hardy asks him what's up and gets a nice stiff punch to the face for his troubles. Abyss drags both of them into the ring. He just throws Hardy back out. He hits the Shock Treatment on Anderson. He goes under the ring and starts grabbing things. He drills Hardy with a Kendo stick. He dumps out a bag of glass in the ring. He softens Anderson up with some Kendo stick shots. Then for the whopper, he sends Anderson off the ropes and drops him into the glass with the Black Hole Slam.
Hardy tries to make a comeback on the ramp, but it's ill fated as Abyss grabs him and choke slams him off the ramp. Then Hulk Hogan comes out and asks him what that was all about as Abyss gives him the "YOU!" fingerpoint as the show goes off the air.
Matt Bishop can be reached at email@example.com. Please include your name and hometown. Click here to follow Matt on Twitter. And if you're interested in mixed martial arts, check out Matt's weekly podcast -- Lights Out Radio. Should be a good one!.