May 31, 2010
RAW: Ashton Kutcher hosts Killer show
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
With the RAW main event already set for the Fatal-4-Way PPV in a few weeks, expect to see all four wrestlers thrown into various types of tag team matches over the next couple of shows. I wonder if lame duck host Ashton Kutcher will have any say in matches, since Bret Hart is the new General Manager. I guessing no and he will just be pushing his new, terrible movie, Killers.
(Seriously, the early press for this movie is terrible, go see Iron Man 2 again, or wait for The A-Team this week. Speaking of The A-Team, the cast is hosting next week, so Iíll be taking a break from ripping on the guest hosts.)
Apparently the show started early, at the University of Texas, as Edge is beating the stuffing out of Evan Bourne in the ring. Bourne said he wasnít going to wait for his chance, and Edge gave it to him. Bourne kicks Edge in the chin, and then ducks a clothesline. He follows with a reverse chin kick, and climbs the turnbuckle. Bourne goes for Air-Bourne, but Edge rolls out of the ring. Evan crashes and burns and Edge finishes him off with a spear. Edge tells his competitors at Fatal-4-Way that this is what they can look forward, too.
Edge talks about Randy Orton and chastises the crowd for hopping on the Orton bandwagon. He tells the crowd he will be become a 10-time champion right before Randy Orton walks out. Edge dances around Orton, and says Orton wonít do anything because he still isnít 100 percent. Edge tells Randy he will hurt him and he isnít kidding. Orton responds with and RKO, plain and simple.
Ashton Kutcher is in the back checking his Twitter. Eve stops in and Ashton canít believe Zack Ryder is talking smack on him, so heís putting a hit out on him, just like in his new movie Killers. The Miz then stops by, at Kutcherís request. Ashton informs Miz that he will face his former NXT Rookie Daniel Bryan. Eve has to stop Ashton from saying something not safe for TV. She getting awfully chummy with him; Demi wonít be happy.
Match #1 Ė R-Truth vs. Chris Jericho
R-Truth starts off with a hip toss in this non-title match. Truth then tosses him through the second rope to the floor, and follows with a plancha over the top rope. We then go to commercial.
After the break, Jericho has a reverse chin lock applied. Truth breaks free, and gets a near fall with a roll up. Jericho kicks out, and connects on an enziguri. Jericho follows up with a vertical suplex. Truth is shot off the ropes, but counters with a flying forearm. The US champion shoots off the ropes again, and connects with a head scissors. Jericho regains control after a bulldog, but the lionsault comes up empty. Jericho ducks the bicycle kick, and tries to lock in the Walls of Jericho. Truth kicks Jericho out of the way, and follows with a face buster. Jericho kicks out of the pin. Truth misses a spin kick, and Jericho tries to lock in the Walls, again. Truth counters into a small package, and Truth gets the three count.
Winner via pinfall: R-Truth
Zack Ryder and Alicia Fox are worried that Bret Hart accepted the hit on him. Bret tells them he has bigger things to worry about. The Hart Legacy stops in. Bret says he knows who attacked them last week. They are the Usos and he hired them. Bret didnít know they would attack, but he wonít cut the family any favors. The Hart Legacy need to figure out how to handle things on their own.
Match #2 Ė Eve and Santino vs. Maryse and William Regal w/ Vladimir Kozlov Ė Mixed Tag Team match
Santino asks Kozlov why he stills walks out with Regal, when he could be a tag team champion with Santino, plus he says Eve would make love to him. Eve clears that up that confusion real quick with a no.
Eve breaks up a submission on Santino, and Eve runs in to take care of her. With the ref distracted, Kozlov runs in and choke slams Regal. Santino rolls over on him and gets the pinfall.
Winner via pinfall: Eve and Santino
General Manager Bret Hart walks to the ring to make an announcement. Hart says he has been having so much fun with his new job. He and Teddy Long have gotten together and decided to have a supershow next week. All the WWE superstars will be under one roof, and it will be a three-hour show. Hart tells the fans and all the superstars they can submit ideas for the show.
It looks like Ted Dibiase has an idea and he wants to tell Bret in person. DiBiase wants complete control of the show, and he will pay whatever it takes. Ted tells Bret he can make all his problems disappear he just needs to name a price. Ashton Kutcher jumps in from the TitanTron, he suggests a RAW viewers choice. (Um, didnít they all ready do that with Cyber Sunday?) Anyway, Bret Hart says next week will be a viewers choice night.
After the announcement, Vince McMahon walks out to the ring, and the crowd loves him. Vince tells Bret that as GM he has to be ready for anything and Vince wishes him luck, and wants this story to have a happy ending.
Ryder wants to know if Orton was hired to take him out. Orton tells him that if he was, Ryder would be down all ready. Orton then has a door slammed on his injured shoulder by Edge. Orton goes down and Edge walks off.
Match #3 Ė Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz
If havenít been watching NXT, Bryan was eliminated two weeks ago. Since being kicked off the show he has attacked Michael Cole twice, and then took a cheap shot The Miz. Kutcher has signed Bryan to a one day contract just for this match.
Bryan takes the Miz down with a right, and then locks in an arm submission. Miz breaks the hold by getting to the ropes. Miz ducks a charge in the corner, and then beats on him in the middle of the ring. Miz kicks Bryan in the head, and then follows with a clothesline in the corner. Bryan turns the tables on Miz by locking in a modified cross face. Miz rolls over into a pinning position, by Bryan counters into a pin. Miz canít break free and Bryan gets the pin.
Winner via pinfall: Daniel Bryan
After the bell, The Miz jumps Bryan and tries to beat an apology out of him. Bryan is smashed into the announce table, but is able to toss the Miz over the table and into Michael Cole.
The Usos are in the ring to introduce themselves to the world. They wanted to make a name by attacking the Unified Tag Team camps. Jay and Jimmy Uso took out the champs with Tamina. They want the world to know that the Harts arenít the only family in this business. The Harts were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Tamina says they are looking for some respect for their families, and they are here for one purpose, to dominate.
The Hart Legacy hit the ring running and we have a six-person brawl. Tamina breaks up the Hart Attack, and Kidd is hit with the Alley-Oop Samoan drop. The three climb the turnbuckle and hit a triple frog splash.
Ryder hits the ring with Alicia in tow to call out whoever has accepted the hit on him. Ashton decides to tell him. Jerry Lawler climbs into the ring with a chair, but he just takes a seat. Itís the Great Khali (big surprise). Ryder and Alicia clear out of the ring. Ashton pulls a fast one, itís not Khali, and Golddust walks down the ramp. Itís not him either. Ryder breaks down, and apologizes. Alicia grabs the microphone and says she is sick of this joke. Ryder goes for the mic, and Alicia hits him with a bicycle kick. She took the bounty and Ryder is left embarrassed in the ring. (The crowd had zero reaction to this bit, by the way.)
Edge and Sheamus talk in the back. He likes what Edge did to Orton. Edge says if theyíre smart they can weaken Cena. Sheamus warns Edge not to take advantage of him, or that will be the last mistake he will ever make.
Match #4 Ė Edge and Sheamus vs. John Cena and Evan Bourne
John Cena walks out on stage and informs us that Randy Orton will not be able to compete. And since everyone hates Edge and Sheamus, it wonít be hard to find a partner. Cena introduces Evan Bourne as his new partner.
Edge starts things off by beating Cena into the corner. Cena counters a whip and hits a bulldog. Bourne tags in, and jumps off the turnbuckle driving both feet into the arm of Edge. Bourne follows with a head scissors and a spin kick. Edge rolls to the floor and we go to commercial.
After the break, Bourne connects on a low drop kick to Sheamus in the corner. Sheamus catches Bourne, beating him into the corner. Edge tags in, and stomps away at Bourne. He then kicks him in the head, as Evan hangs off the apron. Sheamus tags back in, and sets up Bourne for a vertical suplex. Bourne fights out, but Bourne canít get the tag, and takes a shot to the head. Edge beats on Bourne in the corner, and whips him hard across the ring. Bourne runs into a big boot. Edge bounces off the ropes, but Bourne catches him with an enziguiri. Both men get tags, but Cena explodes with shoulder blocks and a side slam. The champ hits the five knuckle shuffle, and looks for the Attitude Adjustment. Sheamus counters it and drives Cena into the mat. Cena side steps the bicycle kick, and Bourne catches him with a kick in the corner. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, and then avoids the spear. Bourne makes the tag on the top turnbuckle, and he hits Air Bourne. He covers and gets the three count.
Winner via pinfall: John Cena and Evan Bourne
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale is on 499,960 followers short of Ashton Kutcher. Follow Dale on Twitter @DPlummer627 and help him catch up.