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RAW: Cena's not on the A-List
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


The WWE is showing some surprising synergy by cross promoting WWE NXT on RAW by having one of the NXT Rookies guest host the show tonight. David “A-List” Otunga won the honors by beating the seven other rooks in a Battle Royal. I wonder if Otunga’s fiancée, Jennifer Hudson, will also show up in Moline, Illinois.

RAW is full of surprises, as new Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger walks to the ring. If you missed Smackdown, and didn’t read Matt Bishop’s report, (shame on you), Swagger shows us all how he won the belt. The new champ admits he was thinking about cashing in the contract last week, but he wanted to challenge a superior opponent. Swagger says there isn’t anyone on RAW that can measure up to his abilities. WWE Champ John Cena hears enough, and confronts Swagger.

Cena congratulates the luckiest man in the world, who cashed in a briefcase to win a title. Cena tells Swagger the people don’t care what he has done, they only care about what he is about to do. Cena and the crowd aren’t upset Swagger is going to Smackdown. Cena disputes the claim that no one on RAW can beat him, and says Swagger isn’t championship material; he is nothing but a weasel. (Hey, that gives weasels a bad name.) Cena steps up to face Swagger, putting his WWE Title on the line.

Swagger says that won’t work, but before he can explain, Randy Orton joins the party. Orton thinks Swagger would want to face the man who pinned him last week. The Unified Tag Team Champs, ShoMiz, throw in their two cents. Miz accuses Cena and Orton of trying to steal the spotlight, and RAW is about the tag team champs.

Guest host, and NXT rookie, David Otunga breaks with recent tradition, and actually shows his face during the first segment. Otunga wants the show to be A-List, so he tells Swagger that he will face Orton, while ShoMiz will defend their belts against Batista and ... John Cena. Orton looks to strike, but Cena blocks the RKO, so Orton drops Swagger with one.

Match #1 – Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus

(This is a “Who’s push is going to get killed” match. Sorry, Kofi, but it looks like your number is up.)

Kofi sells a knee injury, as Sheamus works him over. Kofi kicks Sheamus from the apron and lands a flying lateral press. Sheamus tries toss Kofi from the ring, but he springboards off the ropes and drops kicks the pale warrior. Sheamus responds with a kick to the head followed by the bicycle kick. Sheamus picks Kofi up, then drops him with the Celtic Cross.

Winner via pinfall: Sheamus

After the match, Sheamus grabs a steel pipe, looking to do some damage. He bludgeons Kofi over the head, leaving him out cold in the ring.

We see Triple H walking in from the back, and Sheamus nervously looks around the ring. Instead, Sheamus grabs the mike, blaming HHH for ruining his Wrestlemania moment. Sheamus calls the fans pathetic for crying when Shawn Michaels left. HBK left before Sheamus could take him out, but he will finish the job with Hunter.

Triple H answers Sheamus’s call, and Sheamus is ready. Hunter backs down off the apron, to grab a sledgehammer. Sheamus you fool, sledgehammer always beats steel pipe. Hunter knocks the Irishman from the ring, and nearly takes out Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler with an errant swing. The monitor wasn’t so lucky.

Match #2 – Divas Red Carpet Dress to Impress Battle Royal

Maryse joins Cole and Lawler to critique the Diva’s fashion choices. (They are all winners in my book, especially Gail Kim.) Of course, the Divas champ has nothing nice to say about any of the dress choices.

In what may be the quickest Battle Royal ever, Eve Torres emerges victorious after low bridging Jillian. Eve will take on Maryse next week for the Divas Title.

Winner: Eve Torres

David Otunga is backstage with his entourage. Santino walks in looking for the A-Team. Otunga corrects him, saying it’s the A-List. Santino points out Hornswoggle stealing candy, so Otunga's boys chase him off.

Match #3 – ShoMiz vs. John Cena and Batista

(I wish I could bet on wrestling. The line could not be high enough for me not to wager Batista will turn on or leave his partner in this match. In fact the over/under is about 4.5 seconds.)

Batista looks disinterested in the corner, and walks off when Cena looks for a tag. Cena chases his partner up the ramp, and fights with him. Cena gets himself counted out.

Winner via countout: ShoMiz

David Otunga tells ShoMiz they are not getting off that easy. They will have to defend the belts against Cena and his new partner, David Otunga.

Match #4 – Ted DiBiase vs. Christian

Ted is sporting the Million Dollar Belt that his father created. Ted talks about his dad being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, and how last week he tried to act like a father. Ted says that one act doesn’t make up for all the missed birthday and ball games, but he does know how to win him over. Ted thanks his dad for the trust fund and the Million Dollar Belt.

Ted lives up to the championship pedigree. He blocks the Kill Switch and then a Tornado DDT. Christian is slammed into the corner, as Ted follows with Dream Street. DiBiase covers and gets the win.

Winner via pinfall: Ted DiBiase

The WWE Draft will take place on RAW in three weeks. Somebody start getting those scouting reports ready.

Match #5 – Jack Swagger vs. Randy Orton

Swagger kicks Orton in the gut and drives him into the corner. Orton dodges a charge and stomps away at Swagger on the mat. Orton drives a knee into the champ's skull, and then beats him into the corner. Swagger explodes out of the corner with a power slam and then sends Orton to the floor. We go to commercial.

After the break, Orton is dominating on the floor, but cannot keep the upper hand as he tries to re-enter the ring. Swagger knocks Orton off the apron and crashing into the security barrier.

Back in the ring, Swagger connects with a suplex and then locks in an abdominal stretch. Orton breaks free, and tosses Swagger through the ropes. Orton catches Swagger coming back into the ring, and drops him with an elevated DDT. Orton covers, but Swagger gets a foot on the ropes. Orton hits a scoop slam and follows with a back breaker. Swagger blocks the RKO and kicks Orton in the face. Swagger can only get a two count. Swagger splashes Orton from the corner, but still cannot get the pin. Swagger connects on another splash, but doesn’t go for the pin. Orton counters the gut wrench powerbomb with the RKO and covers to get the win.

Winner via pinfall: Randy Orton

Match #6 – ShoMiz vs. John Cena and David Otunga – Unified Tag Team Title Match

Cena starts things off against the Miz. Otunga gets the quick tag, taking Miz down with a shoulder block. Otunga drags Miz to the corner, Cena tags in. He hits a bulldog and gets a two count. Miz fights off Cena with a high elbow, and then distracts the ref, as Show decks Cena. Miz doesn’t cover right away, and Show is miffed. Miz beats Cena into the corner and Show tags in. Cena bounces off Show with a shoulder block. Miz tags back in, and is driven shoulder first into Cena. Miz slaps on a chin lock, riding Cena to the mat. Cena powers out of the hold, until Miz knees him in the back. Cena and Miz crash into each other going for clothesline and both men are down. Cena leaps for a tag, but Otunga leaps off the apron. Show tags in and knocks out Cena with a right. Show covers for the win.

Winner via pinfall: ShoMiz

After the bell, Batista hits the ring to pick up the pieces. He hits Cena with the Batista Bomb and then asks for the spotlight. Otunga says Batista has an announcement. The Animal says he is invoking his rematch clause at Extreme Rules, and it will be a Last Man Standing match. The show ends with Batista standing over John Cena.

Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003. Dale will be locking himself in his basement for the next three weeks researching the upcoming WWE Draft. Keep updated by following him on Twitter @DPlummer627.