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Impact: Super 8 Card Stud tournament finalized
By BLAINE VAN DER GRIEND - SLAM! Wrestling


Just three days away from TNA Against All Odds, all eight men for the single elimination tournament have been announced and Hulk Hogan shows his true colours.

Just when we had all forgotten the terrible mess that was last week’s Impact, this week’s show forces us to relive that experience again with a recap to kick things off. This highlight package emphasizes the “shocking” betrayal of Kevin Nash by Scott Hall and 6-Pac, who, although working without contracts, still get more air time than most of the TNA roster.

The man in charge, Hulk Hogan, then greets the Impact zone and claims he made the right decision to come to TNA (but did TNA make the right decision to sign him?). He says everywhere he goes, there are people constantly talking about TNA (mostly about how terrible it is). He then brings our attention once again to what happened last week and claims that Hall and 6-Pac are definitely on the outs with the company and they have been banned from the Impact zone. He goes as far as saying that he’s placed security all over the building to ensure that the two of them don’t sneak in and nobody else can get out (sorry about your luck Nash). He says last week, Hall and X-Pac (that’s right, he said X-Pac) definitely crossed the line, by brutally attacking their former friend Kevin Nash (was it really that brutal?). He says if by any chance, the two of them manage to somehow get in the building, they’d have to deal with Hogan. This brings out Eric Young of all people. As the fans start chanting “underrated,” Young reminds Hogan who he is and lets him know that himself and Kevin Nash have become really close in recent months. He says he knows that friends are hard to find in this business, so he wants to do a favour for his friend and make sure that Hall and 6-Pac get what they have coming to them and basically requests for Hogan to reconsider banning them from the building. Hogan sarcastically asks if it’s his turn yet (I believe your turn was about 25 years ago Hulk). Hogan says he is well aware of who Eric Young is and where he’s going (well, Hogan’s 0 for 2 thus far). He says Hall and 6-Pac have been given their last warning, and they are not getting in the building. Young says he then has to go out and do what Kevin would do (I guess he’s going home then?). He says if they’re not permitted to come to him, he’s going to go to them. Hogan says as long as it’s off property and on the outside, he gives Young full permission to bust them up really bad.

Mick Foley then arrives at the building and asks one of the stage hands where Eric Bischoff is. She directs him to the office.

Cameras in the parking garage show Hall and 6-Pac sneaking around like a couple of cat burglars, trying to find a way in.

Match #1: Pope D’Angelo Dinero vs. Orlando Jordan in a qualifying match for the Super 8 Card Stud tournament

The match starts with some taunting and Pope quickly takes early advantage with a hiptoss, followed by an armdrag and then a flip, flop, fly elbow combination, shades of Dusty Rhodes. Jordan shifts the momentum with a thumb to the eye and then drops Pope with a chopblock, followed by a swinging neckbreaker and a spinout backbreaker. The fans then start chanting “you still suck!” directed at Jordan, which was pretty funny. Pope comes back with an inverted atomic drop and a high shoulderblock. He then delivers a pimp slap and then a move known as the coronation, where he positions Jordan neck-first against the middle rope and runs across the ring, sliding through the middle rope to the outside, while dropping all of his body weight on Jordan’s neck in the process, which gets him a two-count. Jordan responds with a spinebuster, only to fall victim to a two-punch combo, which sets up the DDE (D’Angelo Dinero Express), giving Pope the win.

Winner: Pope D’Angelo Dinero by pinfall

Eric Bischoff is greeted in his office by Jeff Jarrett, who returns after a one week absence. Bischoff very insincerely tells Jarrett that he was impressed with the match he had with Ken Anderson a couple weeks ago. Jarrett then asks for one of the remaining spots in the #1 contender’s tournament, to which Bischoff responds that if Jarrett were to win three matches in that one night and become number one contender, it would not be starting at the bottom, which is where he plans for Jarrett to start. Bischoff advises Jarrett to get to the gym and work hard and maybe one day, he’ll get there. Jarrett reluctantly accepts the advice and just leaves (I guess we now know who’s calling the shots).

Match #2: Suicide vs. Matt Morgan in a qualifying match for the Super 8 Card Stud tournament

There isn’t much to speak of in the early going, until Morgan delivers a fallaway slam, followed by a series of back elbows in the corner. He then delivers an avalanche, and picks Suicide up for a sidewalk slam, but just drops him instead. Morgan then positions Suicide’s neck across the top rope and runs across, draping a leg across Suicide’s back. Suicide finally gets some offense going with a springboard missile dropkick for two. Morgan attempts a chokeslam, but Suicide flips 360, which was a great spot. Suicide dropkicks Morgan again, but Morgan just ricochets off the ropes and delivers the carbon footprint for the win.

Winner: Matt Morgan by pinfall

Mick Foley walks up to the Bischoff/Hogan office and actually knocks on the door. He then greets Bischoff as Mr. Bischoff, saying that if this is the kind of behaviour he needs to have in order to ensure the safety of JB and Abyss’ jobs, then he’s on board. Bischoff says it’s good to hear and then says with two spots left in the #1 contender’s tournament, he’s giving one of those spots to Abyss. But before Foley leaves, Bischoff tells him that Abyss’ opponent in the tournament will be a true legend in this business, Mick Foley. Foley reluctantly accepts the offer. Bischoff then says that the flannel needs to go and also that if Foley and Abyss have some idea to pull a fast one, then Abyss’ mask is coming off. As Foley leaves, Bischoff delivers one final warning not to cross him.

Christy Hemme is standing between Kurt Angle and Mr. Anderson, who will face each other in the tournament at Against All Odds, but will be partners for tonight’s match. She asks how they will be able to co-exist. Anderson takes over the interview, saying he’s not too worried about it, because he’s had to carry so many partners over the years, which has resulted in so many of his injuries, and he’s learned to deal with that negative. But he adds that in three days, he will burn through every one of his opponents and eventually become TNA World Heavyweight Champion. Angle says he doesn’t know what Anderson’s intentions are, but he’s going to have eyes in the back of his head tonight, and if Anderson gets out of line, he’ll snap his ankle faster than that ridiculous microphone drops from the sky. Anderson mocks Angle after he leaves and then a mic drops from out of nowhere and Anderson does his usual self-introduction once again.

Eric Young is pacing back and forth in the locker room, as he’s approached by an intense Kurt Angle, who says he respects what Eric is standing up for, but this is a fight that he can’t win. Angle says he knows Hogan is going to be lurking in the darkness somewhere. Young asks Angle if that means he’s coming along. Angle says for Young to stay behind and let Angle go alone. This irritates Young, who punches a locker after Angle takes off.

Match #3: Amazing Red vs. Doug Williams for the X-Division title

Williams tries a single-leg to start things off, but Red counters with an enzugiri, and then delivers a pair of low dropkicks; the first to the knees and the second to the head. Red tries a handsprings maneuver, but Williams catches him in a wheelbarrow and just drives Red’s head into the mat with a series of faceplants. Williams then locks in a figure-four headlock and turns on his chest to once again drive Red’s face into the mat for two. Red attacks in retaliation with a corkscrew plancha, followed by a missile dropkick for two. He then flies across the ring, but Williams sidesteps him and Red gets lawn-darted shoulder-first into the ring post, allowing Williams to deliver the rollup into a German suplex with a bridge (or maybe a London bridge? Just throwing it out there) for the win.

Winner: Doug Williams by pinfall

Christy Hemme is backstage with Tara and Angelina Love, who are scheduled to face The Beautiful People in a handicap match. Love says her and Tara might not have seen eye to eye at first, but the past is the past and they’ve both had enough of TBP, and it’s going to get really ugly tonight.

Match #4: Tara and Angelina Love vs. The Beautiful People in a handicap match

Angelina is about to start with her former BFF Velvet Sky, who thinks better about it and makes Angelina chase her around ringside. Lacey Von Erich cuts Angelina off and gets a fist to the chest for her efforts. Madison Rayne then receives a boot from the former BP leader, but it allows Velvet to hotshot Angelina and take control. Tara then comes in and delivers a snap suplex to Madison Rayne, but then rolls into a guillotine choke, which was very innovative. It was broken up though and TBP attempt to regroup on the outside, but the group hug is broken up as both Tara and Angelina deliver a pair of baseball slides. TBP gain the advantage with a triple team on Tara. Lacey finally comes in with what looked like it was going to be a moonsault, but she lands on her feet and delivers an elbow drop (what was the point of that?) for two. Angelina comes back in and cleans house of TBP and delivers a bicycle kick to Velvet, but Madison Rayne gets on Tara’s back with a rear naked choke, distracting the referee, and allowing Lacey Von Erich to deliver a shot with the ugly stick to Angelina. Velvet rolls on top for the win.

Winners: The Beautiful People by pinfall

After the match, TBP also lay out Tara with the ugly stick.

Christy is backstage with Desmond Wolfe, who says that a famous American movie star once said that life is like a box of chocolates. Wolfe says he doesn’t think it’s like a box of chocolates at all; he thinks it’s like a poker game. He says tonight’s match features a four of a kind, but only one of them can be the number one contender and it’s going to be him. He then runs through his opponents for the night, saying Kurt Mangled is a great athlete, but he almost ended his career twice. He then says there’s also Super Maxi Pad (hilarious!) and of course the man who came into TNA that has everybody talking about him, and his name is Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ... wait for it ... Wolfe! Desmond Wolfe! And then he adds that there’s also a man who enjoys talking about himself a lot. Wolfe says the other three participants in tonight’s match will be lucky if they even make it to the pay per view on Sunday, because Wolfe says he will end them (how come this guy isn’t already the #1 contender?).

Cameras pan to the parking garage, where Hall and 6-Pac continue to sneak around (both Beer Money and The Motor City Machine Guns must be fuming right now).

Match #5: Kurt Angle and Mr. Anderson vs. Hernandez and Desmond Wolfe

Hernandez starts the match for his team in aggressive fashion, using his shirt to crackerjack Anderson halfway across the ring. Anderson quickly tags out and Angle and Hernandez exchange hammerlocks, with the big man getting the better of the situation. Angel seeks sanctuary in the ropes, but receives a swift kick to the funny bone (nothing funny about that) by Wolfe. Hernandez then takes exception to his partner’s actions. Wolfe tags himself in though and delivers a hammerlock legsweep to Angle, who retaliates with a German suplex. Hernandez tags back in and delivers a slingshot shoulderblock. He then loads Angle up in a Canadian backbreaker position, but just drops down to his knees with Angle across his back. Wolfe comes back in and applies an overhand wristlock, placing his left foot behind Angle’s neck. Angle brilliantly counters though into the ankle lock, but in an unprecedented term of events, Angle’s own partner Mr. Anderson distracts the referee, who does not see Wolfe tapping out. This allows Wolfe enough time to counter with a roll through, sending Angle face-first into the turnbuckles. Hernandez tags in and heads upstairs, but Angle meets him up there with a belly-to-belly throw. Both men then look to make tags. Anderson jumps off the apron and refuses to tag in. Wolfe accepts the tag on his end, but is victimized by an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Angle then runs across the ring and belts his partner Mr. Anderson and then clotheslines Hernandez over the top to the outside. Wolfe then delivers a hammerlock DDT for two. He then sets Angle up for the tower of London, but Angle counters into an Angle slam. Anderson tags himself in and kicks Angle in the midsection and tosses him to the floor (I guess those eyes at the back of Angle’s head must have been closed). Anderson then picks up the win over Wolfe. Excellent finish!

Winners: Kurt Angle and Mr. Anderson by pinfall

Samoa Joe comes out next and doesn’t waste any time calling out AJ. Styles comes out in what looked to be a brand new suit, as he’s accompanied by his adviser, Ric Flair. Joe says he never thought he’d say this, but AJ actually disgusts him. He says they’ve known each other for a long time and for years, people we’re talking about the two youngest and hottest talents in the world and the two best in the world and it was always Samoa Joe and AJ Styles. He says AJ used to mean everything to the fans, but he gave it all up and walked out on everything. Joe says he used to earn everything he got, but a few weeks ago, when he and Kurt Angle had a chance to compete to see who was the best in the world, AJ decided to take a shortcut and through it all away. Flair then grabs the microphone and says he wasn’t going to talk (thank God he changed his mind), but he wants to remind Joe that AJ is still the champ. Flair says he’s the flagship of this company and Joe will learn respect. Joe then invites Flair to come try and teach him some respect, but he says he can walk in the ring, but he’ll be limping straight to the hospital. He says AJ was the last pure thing in TNA, but he cheated the fans out of the champion that they deserve. AJ takes exception to that and says Joe’s history isn’t exactly perfect either, as he’s turned more coats than a drycleaner. He then asks Joe who he is to judge the champ. Joe says the difference between him and AJ is whenever some fresh face comes into the company, Joe is always there to get right in his face, while AJ drops to his knees and is the first to pucker up and kiss the ring of his new sugar daddy. Apparently “them be fighting words” as AJ loses the glasses, the jacket and even the tie (oh no he didn’t). Flair tries to hold AJ back, but AJ’s ego gets the best of him and he falls right into Joe’s trap, allowing Joe to beat the hell out of him, until Flair delivers a low blow, allowing AJ to stomp away at the fallen number one contender. Flair delivers some cheap shots too and ends the segment with a “whooooooooooo!”

AJ’s apparently regained his composure backstage and his suit and is talking to one of his ladies on his brand new cell phone, as he’s cockblocked by Eric Bischoff, who informs him that before he goes out to celebrate, he should know that given the history between himself and Samoa Joe and the recent history of himself and title matches, Bischoff and Hogan have decided to name a special guest referee for his title match at Against All Odds. Bischoff then appoints himself as the referee, saying he’s going to call it right down the line (I smell a swerve). AJ then calls Flair and says they have a problem.

Kurt Angle is then on his way out of the building to confront Hall and 6-Pac. Hogan stops him and says it’s not going to happen that way. Angle says he knew it was a mistake for Dixie to get involved with Hogan to begin with and they couldn’t trust him. Hogan says if he’s going to do this, it needs to be done in his house (Hogan unlocks the back door so Hall and 6-Pac could get in), so Angle could at least have some back up, if things get out of hand (yet he showed no concern for sending Eric Young to the wolves. In all fairness, he probably forgot Young’s name by the time this segment came around). Angle says Hogan’s the boss, and he’ll see all three of them in the ring.

Angle comes out to the ring and calls out Hall and 6-Pac, saying he’s waiting for them. The two of them come through the crowd for some reason, even though Hogan unlocked the door for them. Angle is doing pretty well in the early going, until 6-Pac pulls out some brass knuckles and lets Angle have it. Hogan then comes out and signals that he’s on board with Hall and 6-Pac, who give him the NWO hand signal. Hogan gets in the ring and puts on the brass knuckles as Hall holds Angle in place, but Hogan drops Hall instead and then delivers a shot to 6-Pac. Hogan then stands over the three of them, with a fallen Angle looking confused as the show goes off the air.

Final thoughts:

After reading the preview, this was a much better show than that I thought it would be. I really, really enjoyed Desmond Wolfe’s promo. I don’t know why this guy isn’t the champion already. He single-handedly got the tournament concept over at Against All Odds. I also liked the tag main event, especially the ending, as all four guys came out looking strong. I liked how Anderson snuck in at the end and won, in typical heel fashion. I also liked the Angelina Love promo and I’m so glad she’s back. The segment with Joe and AJ was very effective as well and I also liked the match with Red against Doug Williams. There weren’t too many bad things to mention here. I hope this is the last we see of Orlando Jordan. I didn’t like the ending at all, specifically because Hogan not only opens the show, but closes it as well in an angle that doesn’t even make sense. Is it even leading to a match? I hope not. Anyway, not a bad job tonight. 7 out of 10.