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COMMENT





RAW: Boldly going into the Elimination Chamber
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


There’s a very good possibility Edge will show up on RAW tonight. Why? Well, if you missed it, Edge won the Royal Rumble last night. And here I thought nothing could overshadow William Shatner hosting the show from Nashville, Tennessee; and from me making bad Star Trek puns. Engage!

Royal Rumble winner, Edge, kicks off the show. The fans love him, for now. Edge praises the fact that he is back, but first wants to revisit his injury six months ago. He tells of Chris Jericho mocking his injury, and Edge vowing not to miss a third Wrestlemania to injury. But now he has his ticket to the main event at Wrestlemania, and he can choose any champion he wants. Edge talks about losing to The Undertaker at Wrestlemania, and he can have him if he wants him. But the smart thing to do is to go after the guy that is a Wrestlemania rookie. Edge says he won’t make a decision tonight; he may even wait until after Elimination Chamber.

Just as Edge is finishing up, WWE Champion Sheamus walks to the ring. The champ tells Edge a lot of things have changed since he has been gone. Sheamus says he was able beat John Cena. Edge says he has made a career out of beating Cena. Sheamus vows he will exit the chamber with the title. Sheamus tells Edge to run off to Smackdown! Sheamus takes a cheap shot, but Edge ducks the bicycle kick, and knocks Sheamus to the mat. Edge spears the champ in the middle of the ring, and stares Sheamus down.

Match #1 – John Cena vs. Cody Rhodes – Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match

Cody hits a side Russian leg sweep, and Cena kicks out at two. Cody follows with a neck breaker and the drives a knee into Cena’s skull. Rhodes misses a knee drop, and Cena hits a shoulder block. After kicking out of a roll up, Cena connects with a suplex, and then the five-knuckle shuffle. Rhodes fights out of the Attitude Adjustment. Cody climbs the turnbuckle and hits the moonsault. Cena catches Rhodes staggering out of the corner, and this him with the AA. Cena covers for the win.

Winner via pinfall: John Cena

Josh Matthews asks Vince McMahon if he has seen Bret Hart yet. Vince says he doesn’t think Hart is going to show tonight. Vince is surprised who he finds in his office, and tells off the intruder. It’s not Bret, it’s William Shatner, who hopes Bret Hart will embarrass him tonight.

Match #2 – Jack Swagger vs. Triple H – Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match

Swagger keeps Hunter on the mat to start the match, but gets in trouble when he taunts The Game by doing push-ups in the ring. Hunter tosses Swagger over the ropes, and we go to commercial.

After the break, Swagger connects with a DDT. Hunter tosses Swagger to the outside, but Swagger blocks getting slammed into the apron. He smashes Hunter into the apron, and then power slams him in the ring. Swagger slaps on a head lock. Swagger looks for a splash out of the corner, but Hunter gets his knees up to block the move. Hunter unloads with punches, and follows with a knee to the face. HHH hits a spinebuster, but Swagger counters the Pedigree. Swagger hits a splash, and Hunter kicks out. After a belly to belly suplex, Hunter kicks out of another pin. Swagger picks up HHH, but Hunter counters into the Pedigree, and covers for the win.

Winner via pinfall: Triple H

We have the comedy bit of the year locked up with William Shatner reading the lyrics to “Sexy Boy”, “The Time is Now”, and other superstar entrance themes. And I guess it’s coming out on CD!

HHH wants to talk to Shawn, so he sends Hornswoggle off. Hunter tells HBK to lighten up, but Shawn is still upset about getting knocked out of the Rumble. HHH tells him to let it go and get his head back together. So, tonight, he has to beat Randy Orton to get in the Elimination Chamber.

Match #3 – Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels – Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match

Orton and Michaels lock up and Shawn is forced into the corner. The ref breaks the two up. HBK ducks a cheap shot from Orton, chops him in the corner, and then hits a swinging neck breaker coming off the ropes. Orton slides out of the ring. HBK gives chase, and Orton catches him coming back in the ring. HBK drops off the apron and pulls Orton from the ring. After a good shot, Orton is rolled back into the ring, and HBK climbs the turnbuckle to hit a cross body. Orton kicks out. An Irish whip sends HBK flying into the corner, and Orton follows with a backbreaker. Orton connects with a standing dropkick, but HBK kicks out. Orton sets HBK on the top turnbuckle, and connects with an uppercut. HBK fights back, knocking Orton to the mat. Michaels drops an elbow into Orton’s sternum, and starts to warm up the band. Orton ducks the super kick, and goes for the RKO. Michaels blocks it, and hits an inverted atomic drop. HBK hits the flying forearm, but when he goes to kip up, Orton grabs his leg and is able to roll him up to get the three count.

Winner via pinfall: Randy Orton

After the match, Shawn is extremely frustrated.

Backstage, Ted DiBiase apologizes to Orton for what happened last night. Orton doesn’t say a word; he just walks away.

Match #4 – Mark Henry vs. Ted Dibiase – Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match

Henry just shoves DiBiase into the corner, and then clotheslines him out of the ring. DiBiase counters Henry on the outside, knocking him into the ring post, and then dropping him onto the ring steps with a toe hold. Ted works on arm hold, but Henry powers out. DiBiase runs into a clothesline. A boot to the face slows Henry down, but DiBiase can’t hit Dream Street. Henry runs into the turnbuckle as Dibiase sidesteps. Ted follows with a single arm DDT and covers to get the win.

Winner via pinfall: Ted DiBiase

Kelly Kelly and Gail Kim are talking backstage, when Maryse walks over to tell Gail that she is looking forward to their match. She tells Gail that they can show the fans what real women can do. Maryse then says something in French. Gail and Kelly aren’t quite sure what to make of the exchange.

The Miz and Big Show are talking in Shatner’s office, when CM Punk walks in with his Straight Edge Society. Punk wants a tag team title shot, but that is what Show and Miz want, also. No worries, Shatner is here to negotiate. He makes a Triple Threat match next week for the tag team titles. Shatner plugs his sponsors, and does a freeze frame, but no one else gets it.

Hunter tells Shawn to move on. HBK doesn’t want to hear it.

Match #5 – Kofi Kingston vs. The Big Show – Elimination Qualifying Match

Before the match starts, The Miz joins Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler at the announce table. Kofi drop kicks Show off the apron and we go to commercial.

After the break, Show is dominating Kofi, knocking him from the ring. The Miz gets up and taunts Kofi, when MVP leaps out of the crowd and attacks Miz. MVP chases Miz out of the arena. Show tries to bring Kofi in the hard way, when Kofi counters. He climbs to the top, hitting a missile drop kick. Kofi connects with another drop kick, and then hits the boom drop. Kofi fights Show into the corner, but Show grabs him by the throat. Kofi thumbs Show in the eye, and Show throws a wild haymaker that misses Kofi and connects with the ref. Show pushes Kofi out of the ring and goes to check on the ref. Show calls for help, and tells the official he didn’t mean to do it. The new ref calls for the bell, and Show is disqualified.

Winner by DQ: Kofi Kingston

Show leaves the ring a very unhappy giant, as the ref is placed on a stretcher.

Lawler is in the ring to introduce William Shatner. The Bella Twins escort Shatner to the ring, were Bill promptly trips and falls onto the King. Shatner tells him he has had so much fun hosting RAW, and then he introduces Bret Hart.

Once in the ring, Hart tells the crowd he has had time to put it all in perspective. Hart says he actually believed he could put this all behind him, but he was wrong. He is here tonight to talk to Vince face to face, and he calls out Vince.

Vince acts like he can’t believe Bret Hart is in the ring. Vince says he has never regretted anything he has done to Bret. Hart calls Vince the world’s greatest liar. Hart runs down the lists of Vince’s lies. Bret talks about recovering from his stroke, and feeling pathetic. Bret promised himself he would never feel that way again, but Vince made him feel that way after kicking him in the gut. Vince tore down his reputation in three minutes, after it took him 20 years to build up. Hart tells Vince he is ready to fight him tonight. Vince says everything Hart is called is a crock. Vince says Hart is no hero. Vince doesn’t get what these people see in him, and claims it was Hart’s opponents that built him up. Vince tells Bret he got what he deserved. Vince then pulls Stu Hart out of the WWE Hall of Fame consideration. This sets Bret off, and he jumps Vince. Hart drags him to the middle of the ring, and goes for the Sharp Shooter. Batista runs in, saving Vince, and pummeling Hart. Batista holds Hart, and Vince spits in his face.

Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003.