January 29, 2010
Impact: Jarrett returns to the ring; Super 8 card tournament kicks off
By BLAINE VAN DER GRIEND - SLAM! Wrestling
On a night that features Jeff Jarrett's first match in seven months, all questions from last week's Orlando screwjob are answered and Samoa Joe's face is all over this week's milk carton.
The fans in the Impact zone are still waiting for answers after last week’s reenactment of the Montreal screwjob, which I’m sure many of us thought was put to rest, but then along comes TNA to make us relive it.
Hogan and Bischoff come out to start the show per the usual format. Hogan doesn’t waste any time and calls out Mick Foley. Foley answers the call and Hogan says he wants to nip this issue between Foley and Bischoff in the bud and move on. He gives Foley an ultimatum to either work it out or leave. Bischoff says there is no situation between him and Mick and whatever issue existed between the two of them was resolved last week when he fired him. Hogan tries to play mediator and says they have a chance here to turn Mick Foley into an asset for TNA, as Hogan still considers him valuable. Bischoff takes exception to that, saying that Foley beat him half to death last week and tried to hospitalize him. Foley says he would have loved nothing more than to get his hands on Bischoff, but it never happened. He then brings everyone’s attention to the absence of abrasions on Bischoff’s face, which looks in perfect condition and says if he had done what he wanted to do, Bischoff would be covered in scars. Hogan then turns to Bischoff and says he’s not saying that he doesn’t believe him, but they need to work this out and that is up to Bischoff.
Jeff Jarrett is seen arriving to the arena with Bubba the Love Sponge (this can’t be good). He tells Bubba to trust him, as he has everything under control.
Christy Hemme is standing by with Mr. Anderson, however, she introduces him by his full name of Ken Anderson, which he takes exception to, saying that even though the two of them go way back, they were never friends, so she should show a little more respect. Anderson says since he doesn’t have a match tonight, it’s clear that he has to do everything himself. He says he has to announce himself and now he has to book himself (which doesn’t surprise me in TNA). Anderson says he’s issuing an open challenge to anyone on the TNA roster to come out and face him tonight and he doesn’t care who it is. He runs down the list of names and says he hopes and prays that it’s Abyss, but it really doesn’t matter, because by the end of the night, the only name anyone will remember is MRRRRRRRRRRRR. ANDERSON!!!! (It doesn’t have quite the same ring to it as KENNNNNNEDDDDDDDYYYYY!!!!!)
Announced for TNA’s next pay per view Against All Odds is a tournament called the 8-Card Stud, which doesn’t make sense. But nevertheless, the winner receives a future world title shot, which will replace the world title shot that Bobby Lashley won a few months ago (well they didn’t say that, but that’s essentially what’s happening. Samoa Joe must be an angry man right now). This tournament could actually be great if booked right.
Match #1: Desmond Wolfe vs. Sean Morley in a Super 8 Card qualifying match
It’s announced in this match that the young lady escorting Wolfe is named Chelsea, which is completely insignificant and doesn’t do anything for his character at all. Morley comes to the ring and just tosses the dirty towel he’s wearing to a “lucky” woman in the front row (how flattering). Wolfe reverses a hammerlock in the early going but actually forces Morley into the ropes, which wasn’t a bright move. He redeems himself though with a hammerlock DDT and then starts emulating Stretch Armstrong by holding Morley in place with a hammerlock and then arching back into the free arm of Morley, who is able to escape the punishment. I believe Wolfe may have been a medieval dungeon master in a previous life. Wolfe then delivers a snapping arm ringer, but Morley fights back with a half Nelson suplex. He tries the money shot, but Wolfe crotches him on the top rope and delivers the tower of London for the win.
Winner: Desmond Wolfe by pinfall
Jeff Jarrett casually walks into the Hogan/Bischoff office and Bischoff sarcastically asks where his attorney is. Jarrett says he’s done with all that nonsense and he’s ready to do business. Hogan says in this business, trust is the most important thing (and Hogan’s an expert on trust). He says if Jarrett’s coming back, he needs to be the old Jeff Jarrett, because they need help to turn this company around (and what a job they’ve done so far). Bischoff adds that they actually need immediate help, because as it turns out, Mr. Anderson doesn’t have an opponent as yet (I thought it was an open challenge). Jarrett is shocked and starts complaining that he hasn’t been in the ring in seven months. Bischoff says if he wants an opportunity, it’s waiting for him in the main event tonight. Jarrett reluctantly accepts and Hogan wishes him good luck.
On the other side of the building, AJ Styles is trying to pick out a suit from Ric Flair’s collection, to take with him on his vacation, as he’s surrounded by an orchestra of ladies and says since this tournament will decide on a number one contender, there’s really no reason for him to be here. Flair and AJ then start the woooos.
Match #2: Daniels vs. Hernandez in a Super 8 card qualifying match
Daniels sneak attacks the big man to kick things off, but Hernandez shifts the momentum in his favour with a standing vertical suplex, shades of the late British Bulldog. Hernandez then counters a sunset flip attempt and crackerjacks Daniels across the ring. Daniels responds with an STO, followed by a standing moonsault for two. Hernandez counters the angels wings with a back body drop and then delivers a slingshot shoulderblock and uses his shirt to launch the fallen angel halfway back to heaven with another crackerjack. Hernandez avoids a superplex, but misses a big splash. Daniels goes on the offensife with a schoolboy, using the ropes, but Hernandez kicks out anyway and delivers a running shoulderblock, followed by the dominator for the win.
Winner: Hernandez by pinfall
Up next is the much anticipated (and I use that term loosely) face off between the Nasty Boys and Team 3D. Brother Ray brings us all up to date with a run down of the Nasty’s antics as of late and says they’ve been attacking them from behind and they got a taste of that last week, when they were both laid out with chairs. Brother Ray asks where they’ve been for the last 10 years (obviously not the gym). Sags says they were born nasty and they’ve always been nasty and they’ll die nasty. D-Von says that while the two of them were sitting on their asses, 3D have been winning titles left and right. He says they’ve been champions in every company that they’ve worked for, which makes them the greatest team in the history of the business. The Nasty Boys then run down their accomplishments and all the legendary teams they’ve faced. They say Team 3D is next on the chopping block on Valentines Day, because at Against All Odds on February 14, they’re going to get a beating. Brother Ray says on behalf of his team “see you there!”
Christy Hemme interviews The Beautiful People about their match tonight. Velvet says she’s tired of everyone talking about Angelina and now Angelina’s back where she belongs, in the shadows. Madison adds that Angelina Love is so 2009 and TBP have moved on to better things since then. They say that tonight is their time to prove that they deserve to be champions, when they beat all the women that currently have gold in TNA.
Jeff Jarrett is shown in his locker room, getting ready for his first match in months.
Match #3: The Beautiful People vs. Tara, Hamada and Awesome Kong
Hamada grabs hold of Madison’s arm in the early going and looks like she’s about to deliver old school ala The Undertaker, but turns it into a lucha libre style armdrag. TBP answer back with a series of arm ringers on the lady from the Orient, who quickly tags in Tara. Tara delivers a standing moonsault on Madison for two and then her and Madison have the same idea and end up utilizing a faceplant on each other mid-ring. Kong tags in and just cleans house on TBP and then Hamada tags back in with a Mafia kick to Madison, a front kick to Lacey and a spin kick to Velvet, knocking TBP down like a stack of dominoes. She then hits a moonsault on Madison, but Lacey breaks it up and all six women get involved, as Madison nails Hamada with the ugly stick for the win.
Winners: The Beautiful People by pinfall
After the match, TBP attack Tara with the ugly stick, as Kong has chased Velvet to the back, but Angelina Love comes out to a huge ovation and takes down both Lacey and Madison.
Hulk Hogan is having a conference in his office with referee Earl Hebner, asking him why he did what he did last week. Hogan badgers Hebner to the point where he admits that 12 years ago, he alone screwed Bret Hart and last week, he did the same to Kurt Angle, saying he did it for the money. He said Flair paid him off and he had to do what he had to do. Hogan was speechless and put on one of the worst acting jobs I’ve ever seen in my life, telling Hebner he doesn’t know what to do with him and for him to just leave. He says it was unacceptable what he did and until he figures out what to do, Hebner is suspended. Hebner leaves and Hogan looks like he’s about to cry (he must have watched last week’s show again).
Kurt Angle comes out to the ring, despite quitting last week, and says the match he had with AJ Styles at Genesis is a match he’ll never forget. He says it was one of the greatest matches in his career, but by the end of it, he was pissed off. He says AJ came out and shook hands with him and told him it would determine who was the greatest in the world. He says in a matter of seconds, AJ went from being a hero to a punk. He tells AJ that Flair doesn’t care about him and he’s just using him and is stripping AJ of his innocence. He says Hulk Hogan personally apologized to him for last week and even gave him a spot in the Super 8 Card tournament. Angle says when he wins that tournament, it’s going to be him and AJ one more time and he will prove once and for all that he’s the greatest wrestler that ever lived. Hogan comes out to ruin the moment and says Angle accused him of something he wasn’t guilty of. He says it’s not necessary to bring lawyers and lawsuits into this and as the leader of TNA, he does everything from now on, on a business level. Hogan says Angle spit in his face last week and if that ever happens again, Kurt will be unemployed. Angle apologizes to Hogan and says he wants to let bygones be bygones. He then extends his hand, which Hogan gladly shakes. Just as we thought it was over, Scott Hall and 6-Pac come out of nowhere with a sneak attack on Angle and we cut to break.
Match #4: Brian Kendrick and The Motor City Machine Guns vs. Amazing Red and Generation ME
Apparently, there is now more than one Brian Kendrick, as he’s no longer known as The Brian Kendrick. Kendrick Pearl Harbors Red to kick things off, but Red is quick to respond with a flurry of offense. Both Guns tag in simultaneously and the ref is having a hard time deciding on a legal man. Red flips over Shelley with a spinning front kick on Sabin and then the newcomers enter the fray, as Max elevates Jeremy, who comes down with a dropkick on Shelley. Max then delivers a flipping neckbreaker, which lands Sabin on the knee of Jeremy, which was a very cool spot. The Guns fire back (no pun intended) as Shelley applies a reverse camel clutch, while Sabin deliver a low dropkick to Max. Red tries the flipping powerbomb on Sabin, but catches a superkick from Shelley and Kendrick tags himself in and delivers a running boot to Red to steal the victory.
Winners: Brian Kendrick and The Motor City Machine Guns by pinfall
After the match, The British Invasion comes out and Big Rob delivers a chokeslam to Red and then indicates that he’s cashing in his feast or fired case, but Magnus argues that he should give the case to Williams.
Match #5: Doug Williams vs. Amazing Red for the X-Division title
This match doesn’t last long, as Williams quickly transitions from a roll-up to a bridging German suplex for the win and Big Rob does not look pleased.
Winner and NEW X-Division champion: Doug Williams by pinfall
Cameras pan to the back, where Jeff Jarrett is still getting ready for his match.
Bischoff is shown talking to Foley in his office. He says that Hogan says they need to work it out. Foley starts with a story of his son Dewey dropping a deuce in a play area at a local children’s entertainment venue, which was so disgusting that nobody wanted to clean up. He says eventually someone had to do it. He then says he would rather be that guy who had to clean that dirty human excrement from the play area than ever work for Eric Bischoff. Bischoff says he understands that he and Foley have a history together, but they need to move past it. He says while Foley may not care to work for Bischoff, there are two people he does care about that could be out of a job, which are Jeremy Borash and Abyss. Foley takes exception to this news and begins to reconsider. Bischoff then leads the camera crew to AJ Styles’ locker room and tells the champ that he shouldn’t be planning any vacations just yet. He says everybody is under a close watch with this new regime. He then looks at Flair, saying he and Hogan are stuck with him (I believe it’s the other way around), because apparently Flair knows people in high places. He then reminds AJ to rethink his travel plans, which leaves the champion on edge.
Match #6: Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Jarrett
Anderson cuts his usual promo with a reintroduction of himself. Jarrett comes to the ring without any music or anything (I guess he’s really starting at the bottom). Jarrett goes on the attack early with a series of shoulderblocks and hiptosses, followed by a dropkick and a clothesline, knocking Anderson to the floor as we head to commercial. Back from break, Anderson takes control with a hammerlock belly-to-back suplex for two, followed by a single-arm DDT for two. Anderson misses the Kenton bomb and Jarrett counters the mic check into the stroke, which Anderson counters with a low blow and then secures an inside cradle for the win.
Winner: Mr. Anderson by pinfall
Bischoff is shown laughing backstage. Anderson isn’t done yet though, as he attacks Jarrett after the match and finishes him off with the mic check, which leaves Bischoff grinning from ear to ear and he ends the show with the line “it’s a long, hard climb to the top of my mountain.”
This wasn’t a great show, but at least much better than last week. They were however missing some key stars such as Beer Money, Pope Dinero, Abyss, Sting and where the hell is Samoa Joe? This is getting ridiculous. I enjoyed the 6 man tag match and I really liked the kickoff of the tournament. I think Daniels should have qualified but I have no problem with Hernandez going over. I don’t think they did that great a job to get Anderson over and they need to let him talk a lot more and end up in a major feud with someone. 6 out of 10 this week.