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Impact: The band plays the same old tune; countdown to Genesis
By BLAINE VAN DER GRIEND - SLAM! Wrestling


As the mood continues to change in TNA, AJ Styles once again proves himself to be a fighting champion, by turning back the challenge of his mystery attacker, while Hogan and company continue to turn back the clock.

Well after having last week off, I’m back this week with another recap and this episode of Nitro…I mean Impact begins with a recap of last week’s 3-hour special.

This week’s show is titled “the band” and I’m personally not a fan of their music.

Oh and by the way, there is also a pay per view this weekend that I completely forgot about, but apparently, so did TNA.

Match #1: Generation Me (terrible name) vs. The Motor City Machine Guns

This marks the debut of a new tag team in TNA, who look like they’re both fresh out of elementary school. They resemble a combination of The Hardy Boys from 12 years ago and The Naturals. A lot of fast-paced action in this one and the Guns to no surprise take the early advantage with a wishbone type move on the dark-haired guy named Max, followed by a double soccer kick, connecting with the chest and spine of the blond-haired Jeremy. Not even a minute into the match, the screen is already split in two, just to reveal the arrival of “the band (Hall, Nash and 6-Pac).” Back to the ring (there is still a match going on), Max moonsaults into the ring and lands with a diamond cutter on Sabin which looked pretty cool. Then Jeremy, not to be outdone by his partner, slides through the ropes to the apron and in the blink of an eye, hits a moonsault on Shelley on the outside. He then springboard back into the ring with a faceplant on Sabin for two. Sabin regains the advantage and tries a bulldog on Jeremy, but runs right into a super kick from Max, who then delivers a 360 neckbreaker to Sabin, into the knee of Jeremy. Shelley attacks next with a single-leg missile dropkick to Max, but almost immediately gets floored by the new team, who deliver a combination springboard body splash with a moonsault for two. The Guns fight back with their dominator/diamond cutter combo, but the Generation Me respond with a flurry of double team moves. The end comes when Max delivers a steamroller on Shelley, positioning him for a 450 splash from Jeremy and then a moonsault from Max for the upset win. Great match!

Winners: Generation Me by pinfall

Backstage, The Nasty Boys are completely trashing Team 3D’s office. First of all, I can’t believe it took them a week to do that much damage and also, why does 3D get their own locker room? Anyway, 3D returns from Japan and tries to get in, but the Nasty’s have locked the door (oh no). You would think that 3D would have a key for their own locker room.

It’s announced that the main event for Genesis will be a rematch for the World Title between AJ Styles and Kurt Angle, in what will be Angle’s final opportunity.

With that announced, Angle comes out to the ring. He says AJ Styles has proven that his title win in September was no fluke and he’s earned everything he has. Angle continues that AJ was the better man for one night, but it won’t be the same case at Genesis. This brings out the champ, who says he appreciates the fact that Angle accepted his loss last week like a man and if the two of them were to have a series of matches, both would win some, because it’s that close between them. But AJ says, at the end of the day, he’d still be champion. AJ says Kurt better bring his A-game to Genesis, because if not, it’ll be his last shot in 2010 (there’s always next year). Angle says he’s only going to need one shot. They then shake hands and hug. All of a sudden, the masked man returns and blindsides AJ. He drags him to the ring and delivers a short-arm clothesline and then finally removes the mask and reveals himself to be…Tomko! The fans boo (I guess they thought the payoff was lackluster too).

Christy Hemme is backstage with “the band.” Bubba the love sponge takes over the interview (not sure who’s worse) and demands to know where Mick Foley is. Hall says what happens in the band stays in the band, so Bubba sends it back to ringside, as he claims he’s going nowhere fast (appropriate choice of words).

Match #2: The Beautiful People vs. Hamada and Awesome Kong

Before the action begins, TBP spot the returning Angelina Love at ringside and embrace her presence, as she cheers them on. Lacey appears to be jealous of Angelina. The match itself doesn’t last long and only really gets started when Kong gets tagged in. She mows through TBP with an avalanche, followed by the awesome bomb on Madison for the win.

Winners: Awesome Kong and Hamada by pinfall

After the match, Velvet and Lacey go to check on Madison and Angelina hops the barricade and goes into the ring to seemingly check on her as well, but then she turns around and yanks Lacey down by the hair and tackles her “bff” Velvet to the ground as well for a vicious beating. Angelina Love is great and clearly hasn’t missed a beat, unlike “the band.”

AJ Styles stampedes into Hogan’s office and finds Bischoff. He asks where Hogan is and Bischoff corrects him that it’s Mr. Hogan. AJ says he wants Tomko and he wants him tonight. Bischoff says AJ must be crazy to wrestle Tomko, when he’s just days away from facing the best wrestler in the world. Bischoff says he’ll grant AJ his wish, but only If AJ puts up the World Heavyweight title. AJ agrees and the match is set.

Beer Money are running all over the place, trying to find Bischoff (How can Styles find him so easily, but they can’t?)

JB then finds Bischoff and asks him what happened to Mick Foley. Bischoff says it’s not his concern and the only reason Foley got in last week, was because of JB. He says if JB ever does anything like that again, it’ll be the last breath he ever takes in this company.

Beer Money then walk in and say they know it was Bischoff’s boys who attacked them last week and they want a match with Hall and Nash. Bischoff says he’ll think about it.

Match #3: Lethal Consequences vs Team 3D

Bobby Lashley attacks Lethal Consequences before the match even begins and then sends Lethal into the steps, while he punishes Creed with a spinebuster, followed by a dominator, as Krystal looks on with approval. She asks if she has Bischoff’s attention now and says that until she gets her meeting with Hogan, everyone on the TNA roster will be destroyed. Team 3D then come out in a foul mood, as Brother Ray is carrying an axe (that’s a first). The hit the 3D on Creed for the win.

Winners: Team 3D by pinfall

After the match, Brother Ray grabs the microphone and complains about how they had to hear about their locker room being repossessed by the Nasty Boys, who rode Hogan’s coattails right in the front door. Brother Ray has apparently had enough of the talking and leads D-Von and the axe backstage, where they bust their own door open, searching for the Nasty Boys. The Nasty Boys prove to be smarter than they look, by attacking 3D from behind and beating the crap out of them.

The former Val Venis then comes out, introducing himself by his shoot name of Sean Morley and says the other one was merely his stage name. He says he’s moved up the ranks of the adult film business and is no longer making movies, but instead, he’s directing and producing them and he wants to bring his new talent to TNA. This apparently catches the attention of Daniels, who comes out, looking like he’s Morley’s biggest fan. He says he has an idea for one of Morley’s screenplays. He says it’s about an honourable hero (that would be Daniels) who takes a fast-talking sleezeball and dumps him in the gutter where he belongs. With those words comes action, as Daniels plants Morley with an STO, followed by a urinage and then the BME. He warns Morley to get out of his company. Morley starts fighting back though and sends Daniels packing with a clothesline over the top rope to the floor.

At Genesis, it’s announced that ODB will defend her Knockouts title against Tara in 2 out of 3 falls.

Jeff Jarrett is shown arriving to the building with a corporate suit by his side.

Match #4: Matt Morgan and Hernandez vs. Beer Money Inc.

Beer Money deliver a double suplex to Hernandez in the early going and then are bowled over with a double clothesline by Morgan, who follows it up with a sidewalk slam on Roode. Hernandez then comes in with a slingshot double clothesline, followed by tope over the top rope. At this point, Big Rob Terry comes out to attack Hernandez, resulting in disqualification.

Winners: Matt Morgan and Hernandez by DQ

After the match, the band comes out and beat down Beer Money with a three on two advantage. Bischoff then comes out, smiling from ear to ear. He told Beer Money they should’ve been careful what they wished for. He then sarcastically questions what he’s going to do with the band. He adds that if Beer Money wants their revenge match, they can have it at Genesis.

Sting is then spotted in the rafters again

Match #5: Desmond Wolfe vs. Samoa Joe

Joe draws first blood so to speak with a series of palm strikes and jabs, followed by a snap powerslam and then a urinage. He tries a second urinage, but this time, Wolfe counters with a snapmare, followed by a superkick and a hammerlock DDT. Wolfe then goes for the tower of London, but Joe counters into a rear naked choke and Wolfe re-counters into the tower of London for the win (are you kidding me?)

Winner: Desmond Wolfe by pinfall

After the match, Wolfe has a few choice words for the Pope D’Angelo Dinero, who’s doing commentary and who Wolfe will face on Sunday.

A limo pulls up in the parking garage and Ric Flair has arrived.

Jeff Jarrett then barges into Hogan’s office and Hogan conveniently happens to be there when a big star knocks on the door. Jarrett says he’s going to do the talking and cuts this weird heel promo about how Hogan says he’s here to help the younger talent and then says none of them are worth a damn and TNA was Jarrett’s vision 7 years ago and it’s all about him. Jarrett then introduces his attorney and threatens to sue for defamation of character, to which Hogan claims Jarrett has no character. Hogan then gets up to confront Jarrett, who backs off instantly and says this isn’t over.

Match #6: AJ Styles vs. Tomko for the TNA Heavyweight title

Ric Flair is doing commentary for this match and Kurt Angle comes out as a spectator. AJ immediately pounces on Tomko with a flurry of right hands. Tomko sends AJ to the floor with a handful for tights. Tomko then delivers a powerslam for two, followed by a big boot for two. AJ responds with an enzugiri, followed by the Pele which was enough to put Tomko away. So what could have been a major pay per view angle that took months to build is now over in a matter of minutes.

Winner: AJ Styles by pinfall

Tomko attacks AJ after the match, until Angle makes the save. Angle then goes to shake AJ’s hands, but AJ looks up at Flair, who has removed his headset and his a smirk on his face and AJ just walks right past Angle.

The show ends with a video package to add hype to the Genesis pay per view this weekend.

Final thoughts:

I was so much looking forward to this show. Much like many things in TNA, it started very nicely with the addition of the new team and I was very impressed with Generation Me, although they need a new name. But then it just fell apart by the end. The mystery attacker should not have been revealed three days before a pay per view and I question that it should have been Tomko. Tomko might seem like a logical choice, but I would have much rather preferred if they brought in a new character for that role, like the former Mr. Kennedy. I liked how they re-introduced Angelina Love and I thought that segment with her and TBP was very effective. I also kind of liked the rebirth of Sean Morley’s character, but I’m not so sure I want to see a Morley vs. Daniels feud. The bottom line is that the strongest characters coming out of tonight’s show was “the band” and that should not be the case. Clearly TNA has not learned from WCW’s mistakes and they’re doing the same thing that WCW was doing for years. None of the younger stars, with the possible exceptions of Bobby Lashley and AJ Styles got any kind of spotlight put on them. Samoa Joe has been watered down to a complete jobber now. And the Hogan/Jarrett segment was so ass-backwards. They tried to get Jarrett to play heel, but it was almost as if they were both heel. Strong start, but not a great finish and I’ll go 5 out of 10 this week.