December 18, 2009
Impact: Wolfe and Daniels put on a classic; Jarrett returns
By BLAINE VAN DER GRIEND - SLAM! Wrestling
In addition to Jeff Jarrett making his return to the Impact Zone to confront TNA President Dixie Carter, the rest of the TNA roster gear up for Final Resolution this Sunday. A 10-man tag is this week's main event, but Daniels and Wolfe may be this week's main attraction.
Impact kicks off this week in traditional fashion with a video package to highlight last week’s verbal agreement by Jeff Jarrett to return to TNA tonight, after being convinced by Mick Foley. The latter parts of the video showed highlights of the ongoing saga between once good friends AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels.
Footage is shown from earlier in the day, where JB is walking behind Mick Foley, as he makes his way through this dark hallway. JB is trying to calm Mick down, as Foley is irate. He says Kevin didn’t mean anything by it and Mick should just let it go. Foley isn’t hearing of it and bursts right out into the empty arena where Nash is sitting for some reason and Foley attacks Nash. They brawl for a bit, until the World Elite come out to assist Nash, who takes a cheap shot at Foley as the World Elite hold him in place. Security makes their way out and tries their best to separate Nash and Foley.
From there, they recap the footage from last week of Foley going to find Jarrett. Why it’s necessary to replay this same footage twice is beyond me.
Lauren is backstage with Roxxi, congratulating her on her big return (didn’t she return months ago?). Roxxi says she’s super excited to be back (not just excited, but SUPER excited!). She says she left to improve her in-ring skills in other countries such as Mexico. Lauren then brings attention to Roxxi’s physique, saying she looks chiselled (somewhat inappropriate). Roxxi attributes her “chiselled” physique to the fitness competitions she’s been competing in. Lauren then continues that she’s going to be welcomed back in a big way, as she has a non-title match with ODB up next. Roxxi says ODB is someone for all knockouts to look up to (come again). She says ODB is almost as unique at her, but she’s up to the challenge.
JB is in the locker room with Kurt Angle. Angle makes reference to his pay per view match with Desmond Wolfe, saying Wolfe might be an up-and-comer who’s looking to make a big impact (no pun intended I’m sure), but he isn’t going to add any blemishes to Angle’s record. When asked about Jeff Jarrett returning to TNA, Angle had nothing to say.
A video package then airs to highlight Tara’s run in TNA.
Match #1: ODB vs. Roxxi
ODB shows no respect right off the bat with a kick to the midsection. She then appears to be “wrestling under the influence” during the match. ODB misses an avalanche in the corner, which leads to Roxxi delivering what I think was a fallaway slam, followed by a big boot for two. ODB comes back with the carpet buster (they really have to think of new names for these moves) and goes into a missionary-style cover for two. She misses the second attempt at the carpet buster and collides with the buckles. With ODB staked out in the corner, Roxxi takes full advantage, bouncing ODB’s head off the turnbuckles. Roxxi delivers a discus haymaker, followed by a spinebuster for two. ODB then grabs her flask and attempts to use it, but the ref stops her and the distraction allows Roxxi to get a roll-up for the win.
Winner: Roxxi by pinfall
After the match, ODB attacks Roxxi from the blindside and stays on her, until Tara runs out for the save and Tara is sporting a pair of black eyes, courtesy of last week’s trailer park throwdown.
Footage is aired of Mick Foley and JB’s trip to LA to locate Hulk Hogan in a meeting that Nash had apparently set up (how could you not trust Nash?). The whole drive up to Hogan’s place, Foley’s complaining about the long distance he had to travel and says it’ll all be worth it when they meet with Hogan. They go to the back of the house to the gym, where they were supposed to meet him. All of a sudden, Lou Ferigno shows up and I just put two and two together. Foley is surprised to see Lou and asks if he’ll be sitting in on his meeting with Hulk. Lou says he is the hulk (my how awkward). This banter continues for a while, until Foley gets frustrated and starts complaining about the many hardships he had to endure to get there.
Back to the present day in TNA, Nash is steaming as he comes out of his locker room, as JB attempts to get a word with him. He says Foley made the mistake of his life, by putting his hands on Nash and he should consider that his death warrant. Nash says Hogan will be here in a couple weeks and Foley’s as good as unemployed.
Meanwhile, Abyss steps into Foley’s office and complains about Foley not being there when he was apparently set on fire last week (TNA explained that the footage was too graphic to show on TV. But then what the hell was the point?). Foley says he was in LA last week, looking for Hogan and he’s sorry for not being there for Abyss, but Abyss should be concentrating on his 10-man tag match tonight and Foley promises that he will have his back in their tag match at Final Resolution.
Lauren is backstage with Matt Morgan, Hernandez, Pope Dinero and Suicide, who are collectively known as “Team Morgan” (so that’s how it’s going to be?). Lauren brings up their handicap going into the pay per view, because Hernandez will be in the match on his own for five minutes. Morgan says if any one member on his team, besides himself could defy those odds, it’s Hernandez. He says they’ve got a job to do and it starts tonight in his one-on-one match with Brother Ray. Pope ends the promo, saying that he can see into the future (who is he, Nostradamus?) and says he sees all four members of that team in it.
Match #2: Brother Ray vs. Matt Morgan in a lumberjack match
Suicide for some reason, shows up fashionably (well not really) late to join his team. Morgan takes early advantage, by draping a leg across Brother Ray’s back, as he lays throat-first on the top rope. He then fires off a series of elbows in the corner and follows it up with a sidewalk slam. The carbon footprint misses its mark and Brother Ray takes advantage with a belly-to-back suplex. Morgan retaliates with a discus lariat and a chokeslam, but as he makes the pin, Rhino and Jesse Neal drag him out of the ring and the heels attack like a feeding frenzy, until the face team makes their way over and a brawl breaks out. Morgan looks to be going for the hellevator, but Jesse Neal sneaks in a low blow, undetected by the referee and Brother Ray plants Morgan with a DDT for the win.
Winner: Brother Ray by pinfall
A highlight package of Jeff Jarrett’s career in TNA is aired and that leads to Jarrett arriving to the Impact Zone, with Mick Foley in the parking lot to greet him. The two of them then make the long walk into the building.
Lauren interviews Beer Money, who say that in Feast or Fired, everything is on the line for them, as they want to prove once and for all that they are the greatest tag team in TNA. Samoa Joe interrupts and says everything is on the line for him as well and if anybody deserves a title shot around here, it’s him. This brings in Eric Young, accompanied by other members of the World Elite. He says Beer Money should stop whining about wanting another shot against the British Invasion, because it’ll never happen. He then announces that he and other World Elite members will be competing in Feast or Fired as well, including Kevin Nash (thank God one of those briefcases contains a pink slip). He says after the World Elite proves its dominance yet again, Beer Money will never get another title shot. Samoa Joe was kind of left in the cold by the end of this segment.
Match #3: The Beautiful People vs. Taylor Wilde and Sarita vs. Awesome Kong and Hamada
The match doesn’t really get going until Hamada and Sarita have at it. These two have great chemistry together and this was no exception. Hamada tries a monkey flip, but Sarita flips 360 and lands on her feet and then delivers a round-a-bout flying headscissors, followed by an enzugiri. Hamada is not to be outdone though, as she delivers a picture-perfect moonsault to the outside, taking out just about everybody like dominoes. This leaves Awesome Kong and Madison Rayne in the ring. Kong goes for the Awesome bomb, which Rayne counters, trying a sunset flip, but Kong just squats down on her and gets the win.
Winners: Hamada and Awesome Kong by pinfall
After the match, Lauren attempts to interview TBP, and Lacey tells her to go find a backseat to crawl into. Lauren has finally had enough and slaps the taste out of Lacey’s mouth, which leaves TBP in shock.
Jeff Jarrett is pacing back and forth in Mick Foley’s office, saying this is all a mistake and he shouldn’t be here. Foley tries to reason with him and says TNA needs him. Jarrett says he’s going to march into Dixie’s office and give her a piece of his mind. Foley says there are a lot of people here in the company that don’t like Jarrett, but they still respect him.
Christy Hemme is set to interview Black Machismo. She asks if he’s ready to continue his legends challenge tonight and asks why he’s carrying a broom. He says the broom is to sweep the competition. He adds that Jim Neidhart pulled a fast one on him, but tonight, he doesn’t care who it is, they are all going to feel the madness of machismo (Lethal is the man!).
Match #4: Black Machismo vs. Tatanka
Two minutes into the match and it’s all Tatanka. He delivers some tomahawk chops and clotheslines, which Lethal has no answer for. Finally Lethal delivers a high knee, sending Tatanka into the buckle and follows it up with a double axe handle. But this all leads to Tatanka’s tribal war dance, a back body drop and an Indian death drop (Samoan drop), which finishes off Black Machismo.
Winner: Tatanka by pinfall (Tatanka!?!?)
Christy is backstage with the Motor City Machineguns, who complain that they haven’t been utilized to their full potential, because perhaps they aren’t running in the right circles or hanging out with the right people. They say they’re carefree and aren’t possessed by alcoholism or greed like some tag teams (I thought they were facing the Brits?). They say that nothing has been handed to them and Shelley quotes a popular British saying that the sun never sets on the British empire, but at Final Resolution, the sky will fall on the British Invasion (nice line). He says they will be outdone, outclassed and outgunned.
Jeff Jarrett walks into Dixie Carter’s office (he actually has to knock). Dixie basically lays the law down to Jarrett, saying he put this company in a very difficult position and when the two of them flew to Pittsburgh a few years ago to make all these promises to Kurt, one of them was not for Jarrett to end up with Kurt’s wife and children. Jarrett apologizes for everything he’s put her and the company through. She says he needs to take responsibility for his actions and see what he can do to fix this. Jarrett nods in agreement (he sure told her).
Match #5: Daniels vs. Desmond Wolfe
This was a very unique match, but also a great one. Wolfe applies a European cravatte in the early stages of the match, shades of William Regal. Daniels tries every counter he can think of, none of which are successful, as Wolfe is set on taking Daniels head home with him. Daniels finally escapes and applies a side headlock, which Wolfe then has a hard time countering. The game of one-upsmanship then escalates to both men exchanging slaps mid-ring. Daniels takes it up a notch with an STO for two and then delivers a slingshot moonsault. Wolfe comes right back with a hammerlock DDT for two. Then it’s back to submission holds as Wolfe applies an omaplata, combined with a crossface. Daniels escapes and applies the Koji clutch. Wolfe escapes, but Daniels is quick to react and applies a dragon sleeper. Both men then go into a series of pinning combinations and as both guys roll around in their attempts of an inside cradle, the bell rings and the match is ruled a time limit draw.
Winner: No contest
Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley awkwardly show up in the locker room where Kurt Angle is. Angle feels Jarrett’s presence and says he heard Jeff was coming. Jarrett says if Kurt was offended or disrespected by his actions in any way (you think?) then he’s sorry. Angle says he has a match and walks right past Jarrett on his way to the ring.
Match #6: Scott Steiner, Raven, Dr. Stevie and the British Invasion vs. AJ Styles, Kurt Angle, Bobby Lashley, Abyss and Tomko
Abyss is limping to the ring after what happened last week, but still manages to go right after Raven and Stevie. Raven actually starts biting the open wound of Abyss, which was a little disturbing. The three of them fight all the way to the back. Lashley and Steiner then renew their rivalry and they pair off on the other side of the arena on their way to the back. So this leaves essentially a handicap match with The Brits against Styles, Angle and Tomko. Tomko shows his dominance with a big boot on Magnus and a powerslam on Williams. Angle tags in and gets double teamed with a bowtie neckbreaker. Cameras pan to the back where the two brawls are still going on. Steiner gets reverse Irish whipped into the guardrail by Lashley. Meanwhile, Abyss is being beaten with trashcan lids by Raven and Stevie elsewhere, but then he fights back with the actual trashcan that one of the lids may or may not have belonged to. Back in the ring, Angle delivers an overhead belly-to-belly suplex to Williams and as Tomko reaches for a tag, Big Rob yanks him off the apron. AJ tags in and immediately gets double-teamed. Magnus executes a double leg pick-up, but as Williams attempts to come off the top rope, Tomko cuts him off at the pass, allowing AJ to secure an inside cradle on Magnus for the win.
Winners: AJ Styles, Kurt Angle, Bobby Lashley, Abyss and Tomko by pinfall
After the match, AJ and Angle get in each other’s face as Angle holds AJ’s belt. They start pie-facing eachother, which leads to a brawl between the two, which is broken up by Desmond Wolfe and Daniels, who attack both guys. Daniels delivers the Angels Wings to AJ, almost in sync with Angle being driven to the mat with a hammerlock DDT by Wolfe. Daniels and Wolfe then shake hands to end the show.
This wasn’t the greatest show in terms of a go-home show. The highlights for me were the match between Daniels and Wolfe, and also the minute and a half that were given to Hamada and Sarita in the women’s tag match. But nothing tonight really sold me on watching the pay per view. In fact, this company has pretty much been put on hiatus until January 4. In the spirit of the season, I’ll give this episode 6 out of 10.