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Superstars: Cryme Tyme pulls out a win against the impressive Kidd and the Hart Dynasty
By MATT JOHNSON - SLAM! Wrestling


What if Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura opened WWE Superstars this week? Young readers may have no idea what I am talking about. Vince and the Body, you see, were the announcers for the WWF Superstars show in the 1980s. At a time when syndication was a big deal, Superstars was the top syndicated show. Although it was mainly squash matches and an interview segment, it was my favorite wrestling show as a youngster.

Much to my chagrin, we get Michael Cole opening the show. Now, that is just a mood killer.

Match #1 –Ted Dibiase vs. Evan Bourne

From the main event of a pay-per-view to the opening match of Superstars, we get Ted Dibiase. Dibiase wants a moment of silence for his buddy Cody Rhodes. After Evan Bourne’s entrance, Dibiase jumps him. After Bourne hits some kicks, he hits a splash on Dibiase outside the ring.

After the break, the Million Dollar Son is in control. Bourne kicks his way back in, but Dibiase repels him off of the turnbuckle. Dibiase hits a standing dropkick, taking Bourne down. Dibiase hits one of the hardest hitting clotheslines I have ever seen and gets a two count. Bourne hits Dibiase with a knee off the ropes. After a hurricanrana and some bad announcing by Cole, Bourne tries to move Dibiase to the corner. Dibiase hits Dreamstreet for the win, however.

Winner via pinfall: Ted Dibiase

Ask the Divas time. What is your guilty pleasure? Talk of ice cream, massages, chocolate, and shopping. There is a question about a co-worker stealing credit. This question came from someone with the initials HBK ... hmm ...

It’s time for some hardcore ECW action. OK, stop laughing. It is somewhat funny that it is still called EXTREME Championship Wrestling. (For the record, I believe it is a good thing that they have given up the hardcore wrestling on the show. The evidence makes it clear that it is not worth the price of wrestlers’ lives.)

Match #2 –Sheamus vs. Shelton Benjamin

The near-albino Sheamus jumps on the offensive early by throwing Shelton into the post outside the ring. Sheamus completely works over Shelton’s arm. He stomps it, yanks on it, and gets disqualified after not stopping the attack after a referee’s five count. After the bell Sheamus hits a big boot to the face.

Winner via disqualification: Shelton Benjamin

A profile video airs on William Regal, Ezekiel Jackson, and Vladimir Kozlov. Then, Todd Grisham and J.R. kick it to the Raw recap. In case you missed it, Big Ben and the Steelers offensive line joined DX in punking Jericho and the Big Show. It made Sports Center.

Josh Matthews interviews the Hart Dynasty. David is carrying some extra body fat. It’s noticeable because his partner is in such excellent shape. Natalya declares that the Hart Dynasty have an advantage because their family is defined by its “heart”—pun intended. Smith and Kidd make comments that would not have aired on a show with Al Sharpton on it about growing up in a place where stealing was looked down upon. Kidd talks about Cryme Tyme being “excellently executed.”

Match #3 –Cryme Tyme vs. The Hart Dynasty

Eve accompanies Cryme Tyme to the ring, just as Natalya is with the other Hart Dynasty members. Kidd and JTG start. Everything Tyson Kidd does is crisp and has some snap to it. J.R. compliments JTG for having arm drags reminding him of Ricky Steamboat. There is a decent chance that Steamboat, a WWE employee, actually worked on the arm drag with JTG. Though Kidd hits a spinning kick on Shad Gaspard, Shad throws Kidd outside the ring. Commercial time.

JTG is punching Tyson Kidd in the corner after the break. The Hart Dynasty is able to attack JTG in the corner and Smith enters the ring. Smith hits a power slam into the corner. The move looks like one of the British Bulldog’s old moves. After a few minutes, JTG makes a hot tag to Shad. Shad hits a shoulder block on Tyson Kidd. The Hart Dynasty tries a Hart Attack but JTG pulls Kidd out of the ring. Smith attempts a Sharpshooter, but becomes distracted by Eve. JTG takes advantage by hitting his modified sidewalk slam on Smith before getting the pin.

Winner via pinfall: Cryme Tyme

It seems like the Hart Dynasty-Cryme Tyme feud has been going on for a long time. No disrespect towards Cryme Tyme, but most everyone would agree that the Hart Dynasty have the brighter future. I am not sure about the finish of this match. Tyson Kidd has really embraced the Bret Hart attitude of taking pride in every match. His moves really stick out for being crisp. I predict that Tyson Kidd will have world championship gold some day.

Matt Johnson is now on Twitter. Join him at http://twitter.com/mattjohnsonSLAM. Email Matt at mattjohnson62@yahoo.com.