ECW: Tiffany has power, Regal wants it
MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight on ECW on Syfy: William Regal was named ECW's Interim General Manager after Tiffany was involved in a car accident. Now, just one week after her crash, Tiffany makes her triumphant return to re-take her position as the show's GM and put the power-hungry Regal is his place. Should be a good one!
And we are "LIVE!" from Trenton, N.J. Josh Mathews and Matt Striker are our hosts. This show is presented in WWEHD (TV-PG,V).
Interim General Manager William Regal makes his way to the ring with Ezekiel Jackson and Kozlov.
Regal says he is making himself the No. 1 contender for the ECW Championship. He says he never had a fair shot when he is interrupted by Zack Ryder. Ryder says they aren't going through this again. Ryder says he's the No. 1 contender and then Christian makes his way to the ring.
He says neither of them deserve it. Then he brings out proof — in the form of a janitor, Tony Atlas and Yoshi Tatsu. He says the janitor replaced all the urinal cakes and thus accomplished something — making him more of a valid contender for the title than those two. Up to Atlas, he makes him do the laugh, which Christian says make him a better contender. Next it's onto Tatsu, who actually won some matches, Christian said and beat both of them. Christian says Tatsu is the most deserving person to be the No. 1 contender.
But it's not up to him, he says, because he ran into someone in the hallway before he came out — real ECW General Manager Tiffany. She cuts a hilariously bad promo and she hasn't determined the No. 1 contender, but they all will be in action tonight. Ryder will face Christian and Regal will face Tatsu. Also, Jackson and Kozlov will be in tag team action next.
Now, some of Tiffany's promos have been comic gold, but this one might just take the cake as the worst of them all.
Match #1 - Kozlov (Moscow, Russia) & Ezekiel Jackson (Harlem, N.Y.) vs. Tommy Dreamer (Yonkers, N.Y.) & Goldust (Hollywood, Calif.)
Dreamer hits his barrel roll off the apron on Jackson and Goldust slams him into the post. Kozlov barks at Goldust, allowing Jackson to hit him from behind. They work on Goldust for a little bit before Dreamer gets the tag. He hits a crossbody on Jackson. He picks him up but eats a knee but reverses into a neckbreaker. Kozlov breaks up the pin and Goldust takes care of him. Dreamer goes to check on Kozlov but Jackson hits him and nails the uranage for the pin.
Winners via pinfall: Ezekiel Jackson & Kozlov
Tiffany and Regal are backstage. Regal is trying to get her to take more time off. She says she's fine and he should get ready because his match is next.
Match #2 - Yoshi Tatsu (Tokyo, Japan) vs. William Regal (Blackpool, England)
Regal's boots aren't even tied. The referee gives him time to tie.
Tatsu starts to take it to Regal but he begs off to continue tying his boots. Tatsu gains control again and Regal is reeling.
We're back and Tatsu lands a kick to the chest. Tatsu goes for a crossbody but Regal catches him and dumps him to the outside. Regal with a punch and kick. Knee to the face by Regal. He looks to be softening Tatsu up for the Regal Stretch. Butterfly suplex but Tatsu kicks out at two. Tatsu catches a kick and counters with a dragon-screw leg whip. Tatsu with a series of kicks and a running elbow for two. Tatsu goes to the top but he misses a spinning heel kick. Regal goes for the running knee but Tatsu stands up and nails him with the high kick.
Winner via pinfall: Yoshi Tatsu
Regal, Kozlov and Jackson are contesting that Regal's foot was under the rope, which would negate the pinfall. The referee is having none of it, just like the umpire who missed Brandon Inge getting hit by a pitch in the top of the 12th inning with the score tied and bases loaded Tuesday.
Match #3 - Zack Ryder (Long Island, N.Y.) vs. Christian (Toronto, Ontario)
Regal is still protesting as Ryder walks down the ramp. He, Jackson and Kozlov sit at ringside.
Christian with the European uppercut early. Springboard sunset flip is countered by Ryder and he hits a slingshot into the bottom rope and kicks Christian to the outside.
We're back and Ryder is working a chinlock. Christian stands to a vertical base and they start trading in the center of the ring. Ryder ducks a clothesline, headbutts Christian in the back of the head and hits a flying leg lariat for two. Back elbow gets two for Ryder. Ryder slaps Christian in the head telling him to, "come on, bro!" Ryder hits a reverse neckbreaker and again gets two. Ryder goes back to a headlock. Christian gets out and hits a rolling kick. Christian hits a flying crossbody for two. Ryder attacks with punches but eats the pendulum kick and a tornado DDT. Christian to the cover but he only gets two.
Christian fires up the crowd and looks for the Killswitch but Ryder escapes and hits a double-underhook power bomb for a near fall. They get near the ropes and Christian sends Ryder to the floor. He goes to the top and hits a flying crossbody onto the floor. But as Christian stands, Kozlov lines him up and headbutts him for the DQ.
Winner via disqualification: Christian
Then Jackson and Regal swarm. Jackson presses Christian back into the ring and Regal hits the running knee. The trio stand over Christian when Ryder comes back and asks Regal what he's doing and pushes him. Ryder is very upset and then Jackson decks him and he and Kozlov put the boots to him. Kozlov hits the Iron Curtain and the three stand between the two fallen competitors with their arms raised.
Matt Bishop can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please include your name and hometown. Click here to follow Matt on Twitter. And if you're interested in mixed martial arts, check out Matt's weekly podcast -- Lights Out Radio. Should be a good one!.