September 24, 2009
Superstars: Star power, an upset, and beautiful ladies
By MATT JOHNSON - SLAM! Wrestling
Another week, another edition of Superstars. It seems to me like WWE gets in a funk (not Terry) every fall. I understand that football season has started, Summerslam is in the rear view mirror, and Wrestlemania is still a half year away. But, it seems like they are going through the motions. Superstars may be a diamond in the rough.
There is some decent star power and experience on this week’s show. After watching two episodes of ECW on my DVR, I am in the mood to see some veterans. But it appears we are starting with Chris Masters. As my mother used to say, “If you can’t say anything nice…”
Match #1 –Chris Masters vs. Primo Colon
Interesting styles clash between Primo and Masters. Primo takes control early. Primo actually hits Masters with a Hurricanrana. Masters wins back control of the match and turns to a methodical offense, hitting a back breaker and a body slam.
A kick and a knee lift from Primo stop Masters from applying the Masterlock. Primo gets a two count after a missile drop kick. After catching Primo in mid-air, Masters attempts to apply the Master Lock. Primo counters and rolls Masters legs up for the pin. Surprising ending to this match!
Winner via pinfall: Primo Colon
After a commercial, WWE brags about being the highest rated show on WGN America. Apparently reruns of Simon and Simon don’t go above 1.0. I do wonder what number America’s Funniest Home Videos pulls in.
As Goldust makes his entrance, I can’t help but think of Marlena. Terri Runnels was one beautiful lady. She also strikes me as the type of woman who would age well. If anyone working for World Wrestling Entertainment is reading this, I hope they consider bringing Marlena back into the WWE Universe. She really was a major part of the Goldust act.
Match #2 -Goldust vs. William Regal
Vlad and Zeke accompany Regal to the ring. Since ECW has so many youngsters, it is rare that we get to see two veterans go at it. These two can bring it. Regal takes it the mat early, working over Goldust with an arm bar. He works it longer than Frank Gotch. After Goldust breaks out, the two wily veterans have a punching battle. Goldust gets a two count after a powerslam. The match ends with a disqualification after Ezekiel Jackson interferes.
Winner via disqualification: Goldust
Kozlov, Jackson, and Regal try to bully Goldust after the match, but Christian, Tommy Dreamer, and Yoshi Tatsu hit the ring. Talk about a mix of characters. I think we have some early buildup for the opening match of the Survivor Series.
A commercial airs promoting the return of Batista to Smackdown. Batista is facing the Big Show in the main event of Friday’s Smackdown. To use a Jim Ross phrase, that one could get bowling shoe ugly. At the very least, it will senior citizen slow. Check out SLAM! Wrestling for results.
Match #3 –Michelle McCool & Layla vs. Maria & Melina
Dolph Ziggler’s girlfriend is teaming with Melina. All of this talk about Ziggler cheating on Maria could be solved by Maria if she just reviews the tapes of the last few Smackdown episodes.
Maria and Melina take the early offense. Momentum changes when McCool pulls Maria’s hair from the outside. After McCool tags in, she assaults Maria with punches and tries to choke her out with the rope. Grisham wonders why McCool wants to break up Maria and Dolph. If she has the hots for Dolph, something tells me that a certain dead man is going to be none too pleased. After a big boot from Michelle McCool, Maria is pinned by Layla. That, my friends, was a serious big boot.
Winner via pinfall: Michelle McCool & Layla
I normally do not comment on commercials, but will make an exception. IHOP does a commercial promoting its new NFL licensed menu items, including the Quarterback Scramble. Kudos to Mike Florio over at profootballtalk.com for joking that IHOP decided against naming an item the Vince Wilfork Toilet Clogging Breakfast.
Ask the Divas. Natalya is against asking an ex out for a date. A female Jeff Hardy fan wants to know how to lose weight. Maria suggests smaller, more frequent meals. Kelly suggests an effective cardio program. Rosa says to get off your butt and go to the gym. In an unrelated note, I grab my third Taco Bell Chicken Ranch Gordita of the evening.
Match #4 –Matt Hardy vs. Kane
Matt Hardy looks a lot older and a lot heavier than the last time I saw him. Kane looks like Kane. Kane misses a charge into the corner and Hardy tales control with an arm bar. The Big Red Machine fights his way back and hits Hardy with a power slam. After Kane misses an elbow drop, he is eventually knocked outside the ring. Commercial time.
Kane hits the second most effective big boot of the evening. Yes, Michelle McCool’s was that good. Kane beats Hardy into the corner and applies a bear hug. After hitting a sidewalk slam, Kane gets a two count. Hardy slides out of Kane’s grip and hits a chop block. Hardy hits a somewhat sloppy bulldog and gets a one count. He gets another one count after an elbow. I like that. Every pin attempt should not be a two count. Hardy tries a twist of fate, but Kane throws Hardy into the ropes so he lands on his crotch. After Kane again crotches Hardy with the top rope, he is disqualified.
Winner via disqualification: Matt Hardy
After the match, Kane hits a choke slam. Hardy is left laying as the show goes off the air with a shot of Kane’s evil mug. This show was a fun dose of wrestling. We got an upset, some fine looking ladies, a few minutes of combat between two veterans, two legitimate stars from Smackdown, and no lame comedy. Superstars was better than Raw this week.
Matt Johnson is now on Twitter. Join him at https://twitter.com/mattjohnsonSLAM. Email Matt at firstname.lastname@example.org.