ECW: A Woo (Woo Woo) champion?
MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight on ECW on Syfy: After winning a No. 1 contender battle royal last week, Zack Ryder isn't wasting any time in getting his shot at the ECW Championship as he faces Christian for the title tonight. Elsewhere on the show, The Abraham Washington Show is actually funny. Should be a good one!
And we are "LIVE!" from Tulsa, Okla. Josh Mathews and Matt Striker are our hosts. This show is presented in WWEHD (TV-PG,V).
And we kick off the show in style with The Abraham Washington Show.
Washington's guest this week is Sheamus, who is actually dressed in clothing for the first time. Washington immediately blinds himself from Sheamus' paleness and puts sunglasses on. He notes Sheamus makes Casper look like a brother.
Sheamus says it's great to be on the set of Sanford & Son. Washington moves on and asks what his deal is with Shelton Benjamin. Sheamus says something serious and Atlas keeps laughing. Washington asks him what's up and he says Sheamus sounds like the Lucky Charms leprechaun. Sheamus doesn't like this but Washington quells the situation by telling Sheamus he can't hit a senior citizen. This actually draws a laugh from the crowd.
They talk and then Washington welcomes Benjamin to the set. They jabber a bit and then Benjamin says he's looked into Sheamus' family tree. On the tree is Wendy (from Wendy's fame), Carrot Top, Ronald McDonald, Bozo the Clown and Pippy Longstocking.
Sheamus gets in his face and Benjamin tells him if he wants to try him, go for it. Benjamin turns his back slightly and Sheamus attacks him. It's a pull-apart brawl broken up by a bunch of idiots. And that's it.
Match #1 - Paul Burchill (Chelsea, England) vs. Yoshi Tatsu (Tokyo, Japan)
Tatsu runs wild early, sending Burchill to the outside and then hitting a crossbody to the floor. Tatsu throws Burchill into the ring and goes to the top but Burchill meets him there and hits a half-Fisherman's/half-Brainbuster suplex combo. Tatsu tries to fire up but Burchill hits a Samoan drop. Burchill locks in a full nelson on the ground. Tatsu works his way to his feet. Burchill gives up the hold but holds Tatsu into the corner and they recreate the finish to the Bret Hart/Steve Austin match at Survivor Series 1996, only Burchill kicks out.
Tatsu delivers a kick and heads to the top, hitting a spinning wheel kick for a nearfall. Burchill brings Tatsu to the top rope and my cable goes out. It comes back and Tatsu's music is playing and Mathews and Striker are giving commentary at the desk.
Winner via pinfall?: Yoshi Tatsu
It's to the back for a Zack Ryder interview. He says he deserves and has earned an opportunity for a title match. And tonight, you can call him the ECW Champion. You know it.
Burchill is storming off when Gregory Helms stops and interviews Katie Lea. Burchill, who had walked away in disgust, comes back and attacks Helms. I'm guessing that had something to do with the finish of the match.
Match #2 - Ezekiel Jackson (Harlem, N.Y) & Kozlov (Moscow, Russia) vs. Dustin Brady & Brandon Young
Oh I feel bad for these two.
Kozlov works a Kimura right off the bat but Brady gets a rope break. Kozlov then starts killing Young. He throws Young into the corner and tags into Jackson who decapitates Young with a clotheslines. A uranage later and it's over.
Winners via pinfall: Ezekiel Jackson & Kozlov
Brady comes in to check on his partner and eats the Iron Curtain for his troubles. I love this team.
William Regal runs into Goldust backstage and they talk about their match Thursday on Superstars. He says Goldust is a joke, just like the ECW Championship match tonight.
Match #3 - ECW Championship - (c) Christian (Toronto, Ontario) vs. Zack Ryder (Long Island, N.Y.)
Ryder immediately takes off the Woo Woo Woo headband, signifying his seriousness.
Ryder with a headbutt and he screams at Christian, "You're nothing, bro!" Christian sends Ryder to the outside and hits a running dropkick. He follows up with a springboard clothesline off the middle turnbuckle. He rolls Ryder back into the ring and covers for a one count.
Christian goes to the turnbuckle but Ryder picks his ankle and takes control.
We're back and Ryder hits a big backdrop. They go onto the apron and Ryder shoves Christian off and into the steps. Back in the ring, Ryder locks in a body scissors but Christian reverses and they end up in a Muay Thai clinch. Christian works some body shots and goes off the ropes, but Ryder greets him with a knee to the gut. Ryder back to the body scissors. Christian gets out and hits a flapjack. Forearm by Christian. He looks to ring Ryder's neck on the ropes but Ryder escapes. He goes for the flying leg lariat but Christian counters into a reverse DDT.
Christian goes to the top rope and Ryder charges but Christian jumps over. Ryder goes for the Zack Attack but Christian escapes. He goes for the flying sunset flip but Ryder sits down for two.
Christian to the top and he hits a missile dropkick for two. Christian goes for the Killswitch but Ryder knees him and sends him outside. Christian jumps right back in and goes for a flying crossbody but Ryder moves and hits the flying leg lariat for two. Ryder again counters the Killswitch and rolls Christian up with his feet on the ropes for two.
Christian rings Ryder's neck on the top rope and hits the reeling Ryder with the flying European uppercut. He follows that up with the Killswitch and that's all she wrote.
Winner via pinfall and STILL ECW Champion: Christian
Before Christian can celebrate too much, William Regal comes out and says the slate is wiped clean and sooner than later he's going to be the No. 1 contender and it's just a matter of time before he's champion. Christian cuts him off before he can finish his last sentence and attacks him, sending him rolling out of the ring.
Matt Bishop can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please include your name and hometown. Click here to follow Matt on Twitter. And if you're interested in mixed martial arts, check out Matt's weekly podcast -- Lights Out Radio. Should be a good one!.