Raw: Lillian is Entertained on her last night
DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
The big news tonight isn’t guest host Cedric the Entertainer, but it is ring announcer Lillian Garcia’s last night on RAW. We all knew it was coming even though WWE never acknowledged it until this morning. It’s hard to believe that it has been 10 years since she stepped in the ring.
And on to the show, Cedric the Entertainer pulls up to the arena in Little Rock, Arkansas with the Bella Twins in his limo. Cedric introduces his crew as they exit the car, and I have no idea who any of these guys are. And he has a football team in there? And a rabbi? (Did he just perform a bris?!? Google it.) And a goat? What are we in for?
Match #1 – Triple H w/ Shawn Michaels vs. Cody Rhodes w/ Ted DiBiase
Trips gets on the microphone and does the normal DX shtick. We are reminded that HBK was in and won the very first Hell in the Cell match, and Triple H has won the most Hell in the Cell matches in WWE with five. Shawn points out that Legacy has never been in a Hell in the Cell match. Hunter reminds everyone that they destroyed Vince McMahon in their last Hell in the Cell match, and they liked him.
DiBiase distracts HHH and Rhodes beats him into the corner. Rhodes is whipped into the corner, but gets a boot up on a charge by Hunter. Rhodes continues to beat HHH in the corner. Hunter counters a charge by Rhodes, sending him into the ring post shoulder first. Hunter slams him into the ring post two more times before slapping on a crossface. Rhodes gets a foot on the ropes to break the hold. Rhodes rolls out of the ring, but is distracted by HBK. HHH kicks Rhodes into DiBiase and we go to commercial.
After the break, Rhodes is in control. The Game fights out of hold, but runs right into a neck breaker. Rhodes ducks a punch and counters with a Russian leg sweep. Rhodes follows with a moonsault off the top turnbuckle, but cannot get the pin. Rhodes taunts HBK, but walks right into a fist from HHH. Cody is backdropped to the outside, and slaps HBK. Michaels chases after him, and ducks a shot from Dibiase. Rhodes jumps in, and HBK is slammed off the announce table. Cody slides back into the ring, but Hunter is able to set up the Pedigree. DiBiase make the save with a chair, and the ref calls for the bell.
Winner via DQ: Triple H
After the bell, HHH is cracked in the skull with the chair, allowing Rhodes to hit Cross Rhodes, and Dibiase follows up with Dream Street. Legacy sets HHH up for something nasty, but HBK is able to get himself together, pulling a sledgehammer out from under the ring. Legacy runs off, leaving DX in the ring.
Cedric the Entertainer is introduced. He calls himself a real WWE fan and then does some standup comedy. Santino Marella walks out on stage slack-jawed in the presence of one of his favorites, “Fredrick the Entertainer.” Santino then does some standup of his own. Santino bombs. Cedric stops him and tells him to lay off the comedy.
Chavo interrupts the fun. Cedric thinks Chavo is funny for letting a leprechaun beat him up every week. Santino has to correct Cedric, Chavo isn’t letting him win. Cedric looks at Chavo in disbelief. Chavo says he isn’t the problem; he’s always in no-win situation because of the guest hosts. Chavo wants to make a challenge to Cedric to face him in a match. Cedric says he doesn’t wrestle, and then pushes the web site for his new movie. Santino steps in and accepts the match for Cedric.
Josh Matthews talks with The Miz, wanting to know why he stole the U.S. Title. Miz says he just took what will be his, and the U.S. title should be with someone from the U.S. Kofi Kingston stops the interview fast with a kick to the Miz’s head. Kofi grabs his belt and walks off.
Match #2 – Evan Bourne vs. The Miz
Miz backs Bourne into the corner, and the ref calls for a break. Miz smashes Bourne into the turnbuckle. Bourne explodes out of the corner with a kick to the face. The Miz responds with a kick to the head and then hits a neck breaker. The Miz locks in a submission, and then drags Bourne to the apron, hitting him with a high knee. The Miz crashes into the corner hitting Bourne with a clothesline. Bourne crotches The Miz on the top turnbuckle and hits a superplex. Bourne looks for the shooting star press, but the Miz rolls away. Bourne lands on his feet, but The Miz immediately hits him with the skull crusher (I like that better then the skull crushing finale). Miz covers for the win.
Winner via pinfall: The Miz
Orton tells Legacy to take the rest of the night off. He can handle this contract thing himself.
The King is in the ring to host the contract signing. Randy Orton is the first to the ring. Cena is then introduced and THE CHAMP IS HERE! Lawler reminds the two that they can’t fight, tonight. Orton must face Cena in the Hell in the Cell or give up his right to an automatic rematch. Orton quickly signs and tells Lawler to hit the bricks. Orton addresses Cena, telling him he is wrong. Orton is not at his weakest; in fact he is more dangerous. Orton is willing to do anything to get his title back. Orton has Hell in the Cell experience, Cena doesn’t. The champ rises and tells Orton he wasn’t listening. Cena heard all he needed to at Breaking Point. I quit! Cena says he has made it through everything Orton has thrown at him. Cena mocks Orton. Cena finally signs, telling Orton if he loses there are no more rematches, no more chances to win the title. Cena will destroy Randy Orton at Hell in the Cell.
The Unified Tag Team champs, Big Show and Jericho, interrupt the posturing and crash the party. Orton retreats to the safety of the announce table, while Cena stands tall in the ring. Show tosses the table from the ring, and Cena tries to fight his way out. Jericho and Show beat Cena down, when MVP and Mark Henry run in to make the save. (I smell a six-man tag match coming.)
Lo and behold, Cedric the Entertainer pops up on the Titantron and books a six-man tag match.
Match #3 – Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix
Alicia Fox is at ringside to scout Mickie James.
Beth slams Mickie into the ring post, and then hits the hits her finisher in the ring to get the win.
Winner via pinfall: Beth Phoenix
After the match, Alicia hits Mickie with a scissors kick and poses over her.
Match #4 – Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger
Swagger beats down Kofi to start the match. Kofi fights back with chops, and then fights out of the corner. Swagger plants a boot into the chest of Kofi. The Miz runs down and steals the U.S. title from the timekeeper. Jack Swagger runs The Miz down and blasts him from behind. Swagger picks up the belt and walks to back with it himself. Kofi has no idea what us going on.
Winner via countout: Kofi Kingston
Match #5 – Chavo Guerrero vs. Cedric the Entertainer – Santino Marella special guest referee
Chavo gets a big laugh out of Cedric’s ring attire. Cedric then decides to sport a luchador mask. Chavo wants to try on the hat, but instead stomps on it. Cedric goes to the outside, and slips under the ring. Chavo tries to outsmart Cedric by going to the other side of the ring to wait for him. Somebody emerges, but it isn’t Cedric. He’s dressed like him, but it isn’t him. Chavo is chased around the ring, and then tossed into the ring. “Cedric” delivers a clothesline and then a back body drop. Chavo is splashed in the corner, and then “Cedric” slips back under the ring. Hornswoggle, dressed as Cedric, comes out from under the ring, and hits the tadpole splash. The real Cedric comes out from under the ring, and covers Chavo for the win. The two accomplices join Cedric in the ring for some post match dancing.
Winner via pinfall: Cedric the Entertainer
Cedric is in his office, trying to pick up Kelly Kelly, when Chris Jericho interrupts. He wants to talk, Cedric blows him off, but he thinks better of blowing off the Big Show.
Jerry Lawler gives Lillian Garcia her send off. Lillian tears up during her goodbye address. Thanks Lillian, we will miss you.
Match #6 – Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, and The Big Show vs. John Cena, MVP, and Mark Henry
Jericho tells Orton he had a stipulation added to the match. If they lose Orton takes on tonight’s opponents in a gauntlet match next week, but if they win Cena must face the gauntlet next week.
Cena and Jericho start things off. Jericho nails Cena with a cheap shot off the break. Orton makes a quick tag, and almost gets hits with the Attitude Adjustment. Orton slips from the ring, and Cena chases after him. Jericho hits a cheap shot, and Orton is able to regain control in the ring. Cena fights back with a belly to belly suplex. Cena gets the tag to MVP, as Orton tags Jericho. MVP connects with a flying clothesline, and hits the Ballin’ elbow. Jericho kicks out. Orton provides a distraction, as Big Show punches MVP in the back off the head. Show tags in, slamming MVP to the mat. Show follows with a clothesline. Orton tags in and applies a face lock. MVP elbows his way out, but Orton trips him up. Jericho makes the tag, and toys with MVP. Jericho chokes MVP on the ropes, but misses a splash. MVP crawls to his corner, but Orton cuts him off. MVP fights back, but Orton knocks him from the ring. Henry quickly makes the tag as MVP falls to the floor. Henry cleans house, as Cena dumps Big Show from the ring. Jericho hits Henry with a chop block, allowing Orton to hit the RKO. Orton covers Henry for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, and Mark Henry
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003.