WWE Superstars: WWE jams five matches in to compete with the NFL
MATT JOHNSON - SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight Superstars goes head to head with the opening game of the NFL season. WWE might be saved from a ratings crash because only the second half of the show competes with the game. Impact may not be so lucky.
With all of the athletic wrestlers on the Smackdown roster, our first match features Kane and Jimmy Wang Yang. Hold your breath!
Match #1 -Kane vs. Jimmy Wang Yang
Ross notes that it only takes three seconds for an upset to occur. Strangely, even though I know better, Ross introduces a glimmer of hope in Jimmy Wang Yang’s favor.
The match goes as expected. Kane wins after a choke slam.
Winner via pinfall: Kane
To preview his battle with Khali at the PPV, Kane attacks Jimmy Wang Yang with a Singapore cane after the match. An athlete was just suspended from a college football team for the season for punching an opponent after the game. I wonder if Kane will face similar consequences?
Match #2 -Sheamus vs. Yoshi Tatsu
Yoshi Tatsu’s music has become an addiction for me. The crowd seems to Yoshi. Striker uses extremely colorful, flowery language to describe the early action. Sheamus slows things down with a chin lock. Sheamus gets a two count after a back suplex.
Shades of Ric Flair as Yoshi uses some chops on Sheamus. I am now writing like a WWE announcer speaks. Monstrous boot to the face from Sheamus, followed by the Irish Curse for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Sheamus
Until another Diva gets added to the ECW roster, it looks like we are left with Katie Lea Burchill and the Bellas. If this feud gets any more worn out, it will main event Raw.
Match #3 –Katie Lea Burchill vs. Nikki Bella
Katie Lea and Nikki Bella lock up. After a few moments of action, Katie Lea gets a near fall after a twisted sidewalk slam. Katie Lea continues her assault. Nikki school boys Katie Lea, and Matthews calls it a school girl. Way too cute.
Nikki Bella gets the win after the twins do the old switcheroo and Brie hits a flying cross body.
Winner via pinfall: Nikki Bella
Dolph Ziggler is up next, making this show worth it. The guy’s got it.
I wonder if Slam Master J realized where his career was going when his new gimmick was explained to him?
Match #4 –Dolph Ziggler vs. Slam Master J
After a few minutes of competition, Dolph Ziggler gets a two count after a neckbreaker. A fan has a sign that says “Dolph Sucks.” The fan is wrong, as Dolph controls J with a headlock. After fighting out of the corner, J gets a two count after a school boy. Dolph wins on this night, however, with a jumping reverse bulldog.
Winner via pinfall: Dolph Ziggler
Five matches tonight. What the heck happened to having three decent length matches?
The Miz has been working on his physique. Watch an old tape and look at the body change. Miz and Swagger have to be the favorites in this Raw contest.
Match #5 –Jack Swagger & The Miz vs. Primo Colon & Kofi Kingston
New ECW graduates Jack Swagger and Kofi Kingston start. Kofi takes control and tags in Primo. Primo has solid hops and hits a drop kick from the top rope. Swagger takes control with a gut wrench powerbomb. Primo tags in Kofi, who demonstrates his athleticism against the Miz. Kofi and Primo both hit suicide dives after their opponents went outside the ring. Chaos breaks loose and Kofi runs into Swagger. Miz wins after hitting the Skull Crushing Finale on Kofi Kingston and getting the pin.
Winners via pinfall: Jack Swagger & the Miz
Five matches is way too much. WWE had it right with just three matches. It will be interesting to see how this edition of Superstars does in the ratings. This Sunday WWE goes head to head again with the NFL, as Breaking Point goes up against the season premier of Sunday Night Football. Speaking of football, I am going to go find my remote.
Matt Johnson likes interacting with readers. Interact with him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/mattjohnsonSLAM. Email Matt at firstname.lastname@example.org.