August 18, 2009
ECW: Christian, Regal on collision course
By MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight on ECW on Syfy: The road to the Summerfest is drawing to a close. In the Land of Extreme, ECW Champion Christian will defend his title against William Regal. Tonight, the two will be on opposite sides as Christian teams with Tommy Dreamer to face Regal and Kozlov. Should be a good one!
And we are "LIVE!" from Kansas City, Mo. Josh Mathews and Matt Striker are our hosts. This show is presented in WWEHD (TV-PG,V).
Match #1 - The Hurricane (Raleigh, North Carolina) vs. Paul Burchill (Chelsea, England)
Hurricane goes for the choke slam early, but Burchill breaks the grip. He then hits a Thesz press with some punches and low-bridges Burchill out of the ring. He follows that up with a flying crossbody to the outside.
We're back and Burchill is in control. He lands a huge clothesline and is hurting The Hurricane. He throws Hurricane into a corner and then lands a double flying knee. Burchill locks in a modified chinlock and bullies Hurricane into the corner. He puts Hurricane onto the top turnbuckle, lands some punches and goes to suplex him, but Hurricane won't budge.
Hurricane lands several headbutts that send Burchill flying and then hits a crossbody off the top. Both men are down. They stand and starting trading. Burchill eats a back elbow and a reverse bulldog for two. Hurricane sends Burchill into the corner but he moves and hits a flipping double kick to the head for two (terrible description. Have never seen that move before).
They go to the top and Hurricane hits a hurricarana from the top for two. Hurricane goes for the Shining Wizard but Burchill moves, but he is able to counter Burchill with the Eye of the Hurricane for the win.
Winner via pinfall: The Hurricane
They kick it backstage to the newest member of the ECW broadcast team, Courtney Taylor. Her guest at this time is Tommy Dreamer. He talks for a bit then William Regal shows up. Regal taunts him then Kozlov attacks from behind and beats the living hell out of Dreamer. He then holds Dreamer for Regal to hit the running knee. Dreamer is down and he is out.
Dreamer is still down backstage and is being attended to by paramedics and Christian. He can't even get up.
It's now time for "the critically acclaimed" The Abraham Washington Show. He calls Kansas City illiterate. He makes fun of David Letterman and then welcomes his guest, Goldust.
Washington asks him about Sheamus and Goldust starts stuttering. Washington makes fun of it, Goldust tries to explain it. Then Washington brings Sheamus out. Nothing happens.
Courtney is backstage with Tiffany. She says Dreamer has a concussion and will not compete tonight. So Christian is free to find a new partner. I'm surprised the arena didn't implode from the lack of any charisma exhibited by both in this segment.
Match #3 - Zack Ryder (Long Island, N.Y.) vs. Yoshi Tatsu (Tokyo, Japan)
Oh, my awesomeness metre just went off the charts for this one.
Ryder goes right to work on Tatsu's left arm and Tatsu is in some pain. Tatsu goes to the outside but digs a shoulder into Ryder while back on the apron. Tatsu rolls in and lands some kicks but can't do much with one arm. Tatsu misses a kick and Ryder goes for the Zack Attack but Tatsu counters. He goes for a springboard elbow, but Ryder gets a knee up on the bad arm and pins him.
Winner via pinfall: Zack Ryder
Woo woo woo! YOU KNOW IT!
Christian is backstage with Tiffany. He says he can't find anyone and that he'll go out there himself. He asks for Tiffany to buy him some time but she can't. Then someone apparently kicks down the door and Christian points to him and says that'll work. I hope it's Ezekiel Jackson.
Match #4 - William Regal (Blackpool, England) & Kozlov (Moscow, Russia) vs. Christian (Toronto, Ontario) & Ezekiel Jackson (Harlem, N.Y.)
Well, I think Regal had a little bit of liquid roll down his leg when Big Zeke was announced judging by his reaction.
Christian just starts slapping the heck out of Kozlov. Kozlov doesn't take well to this. Kozlov charges at Christian but he low bridges him. He dropkicks him off the apron but a Regal distraction helps Kozlov attack him from behind. Kozlov uses a headbutt to send Christian through the ropes and to the floor.
They start working Christian over big time, using quick tags and isolation. Regal flings Christian into the corner but eats a back elbow. Christian gets two with the springboard sunset flip. Kozlov breaks it up and Jackson chases him off. Then Jackson double-crosses Christian and hits his finish and invites Regal to pin him.
Winners via pinfall: William Regal & Kozlov
Kozlov picks Christian up and hits the Iron Curtain just like he's done to every jobber during the past few weeks. Then Regal invites Jackson to hit his finish again. They raise each other's arms as the show goes off the air.
And I love how they just treated the champion just like all the jobbers the past five weeks or so.
Matt Bishop can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please include your name and hometown. Click here to follow Matt on Twitter. And if you're interested in mixed martial arts, check out Matt's weekly podcast -- Lights Out Radio. Should be a good one!.