WWE Superstars: Rey escapes Ziggler and Knox beatdown
MATT JOHNSON - SLAM! Wrestling
Week number two of my Superstars duty has a tough act to follow. Morrison and Kidd put on a great show last week. In the good news department, there is no Abraham Washington Show scheduled.
We open with Santino. I can’t believe he didn’t have skits with Dr. Ken and Jeremy Piven on Raw. That would have been some great comedy.
Match #1 - Santino Marella vs. Chris Masters
Santino looks terrified as Chris Masters walks to the ring. The crowd chants Santino’s name while he does a hilarious karate routine.
Not a whole lot to this match. Masters executes his (not very exciting) offense. Santino fails to apply the Masterlock. Lots of punches, kicks, and slaps. Santino does some in-ring comedy but eventually falls victim to the Masterlock.
Winner via submission: Chris Masters
Striker thanks Aerosmith for the Summerslam theme song. It is impressive that WWE got Aerosmith, I just wish they picked a faster paced song.
Time for some ECW tag team action. The Pitbulls vs. the Eliminators??? In the words of Gorilla Monsoon, “Highly unlikely.”
Match #2 - William Regal & Paul Burchill vs. Tyler Reks & Yoshi Tatsu
Yoshi has awesome music. Yoshi and the (ex-) pirate start. Tyler Rekks tags in. He has the type of physique that WWE loves. Regal comes in for an old school beatdown. Regal and Reks exchange headlocks before Regal sends him outside the ring. Commercial time.
Quick tags and solid teamwork between Tatsu and Reks. Burchill regains control of the match and attacks Tatsu’s knee. We get a reference to the board game (and movie) Clue from Striker. Rekks gets back in and explodes on Regal. He nearly gets the pin after a suplex. Reks hits a cross body, but the momentum puts Regal on top for the pin.
Winner via pinfall: William Regal & Paul Burchill
John Cena threw out the first pitch at Wrigley Field and we get to see the footage. Cena throws a lot better pitch than Barack Obama did at the All-Star Game, when he was teased for throwing like a girl. Props to Cena for the Pabst Blue Ribbon hat.
After a promotional video about Vladimir Kozlov, good ol’ J.R. introduced the Smackdown rebound. Jeff Hardy vs. C.M. Punk on this week’s Smackdown. Be sure to check out the Smackdown report on SLAM! Wrestling.
Match #3 - Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox
Mike Knox is definitely burly. Just as I am about to type that, Grisham says it. Todd is one smart fellow. Dolph Ziggler joins the broadcast team. Right now Dolph is one of my three favorite acts, so thumbs up on this surprise. He does need to add some new hair dye, however.
The husky Mike Knox takes charge of the match. Kiddies chant “619” and Rey knocks Knox (no pun intended) outside the ring. After a commercial, Rey goes on the offensive with a hurricanrana. Knox almost takes Rey’s head off with a clothesline and a big boot. Rey barely makes it back in the ring in time. Knox gets a two count after a splash. Rey fights back with a springboard and a bulldog. After a cross body, Knox gets a two count. After a few more minutes of action, Ziggler attacks Rey and the official calls for the disqualification.
Winner via disqualification: Rey Mysterio
Rey escapes before Ziggler and Knox can beat him down. Ross promotes a fatal four way on Smackdown to determine Rey’s opponent at Summerslam as the show ends. Well, this episode was not as good as last week, but that it was to be expected. The show has the right format, though, in that fans can just sit back and watch an hour of wrestling. It also gives WWE another chance to emphasize major storylines. That was one of the great advantages of the old weekend shows.
Matt Johnson is happy to cover a wrestling show on Thursday nights that features wrestling and not a bunch of stupid angles that don’t make sense. Something tells me one of my colleagues is not so lucky. Email Matt at email@example.com.