August 4, 2009
ECW: Christian, Dreamer go to the extreme
By MATT BISHOP - SLAM! Wrestling
Tonight on ECW on Syfy: The ECW Championship means everything to Tommy Dreamer, so it's no surprise that in his quest to regain the title he lost to Christian at Night of Champions that he is invoking his rematch clause tonight in an Extreme Rules match. Should be a good one!
And we are "LIVE!" from Long Island, N.Y. Josh Mathews and Matt Striker are our hosts. This show is presented in WWEHD (TV-PG,V).
We are introduced straight to The Abraham Washington Show with our host, Abraham Washington.
He starts talking for a while before he is interrupted by Long Island's own Zack Ryder.
Washington asks him what the hell he is doing. Ryder says he's the only good thing to ever come out of Long Island. People actually talked along with his "Woo woo woo" and they cut to three people each holding up a "Woo" sign.
They start to talk trash on Shelton Benjamin, the night's scheduled guest, by calling him boring before Benjamin decides he's heard enough.
Benjamin cuts a promo in which he inserts the word "smurf" in place of the swear words (because it's a PG show). Then Washington gets his turn and calls Benjamin a fake Dennis Rodman reject and that it's not the hip-hop Source Awards, so settle down.
Then Benjamin and Ryder start going at it, asking who is more entertaining. Washington suggests instead of American Idol, they have Abraham Idol to prove who is more entertaining. Ryder gets to choose the song they sing.
Ryder picks "I Only Wanna Be With You" by Hootie and the Blowfish. Ryder gets about two lines in and can't remember the rest of the words, so Washington flips it to Benjamin. The crowd fires up a "This is stupid" chant. Benjamin starts singing to resounding boos. He goes longer than Ryder before Ryder attacks him from behind telling him now he's singing the blues (woo, woo, woo). Benjamin gets up and hits a double-leg takedown on the ramp and starts pounding away. Benjamin flings Ryder onto the couch before Ryder flees to the back.
Match #1 - Ezekiel Jackson (Harlem, N.Y.) vs. Danny Danger (150 pounds)
Oh my goodness, 150 pounds.
Jackson squash, 37 seconds.
Winner via pinfall: Ezekiel Jackson
Of course, as if the poor guy hasn't had enough, Kozlov comes to the ring to add to the pain, hitting the Iron Curtain. Then Jackson hits his finish again and walks away. Play his music.
Tiffany is backstage with the Bellas for a bit before she runs into a production assistant. Tiffany has to run to take a phone call and a runaway box almost runs over the poor PA. Luckily for her, The Hurricane swoops in to make the save. Girl is stunned and Paul Burchill comes in, looks around then stares in the camera and says "this is ridiculous."
Match #2 - Sheamus (Dublin, Ireland) vs. Goldust (Hollywood, Calif.)
This is a return match from last week.
Sheamus kills Goldust's shoulder with a shoulderbreaker early. Sheamus goes to work with various arm and shoulder locks on Goldust. Goldust is able to get a roll-up but Sheamus kicks out and traps an arm and locks on a submission. Goldust hangs on through extreme pain.
Goldust starts to fire up, hitting a bulldog and two clotheslines. He hits his drop-down uppercut and a powerslam for two. Goldust goes to the second rope but Sheamus yanks him off by the ankle and gets the pin.
Winner via pinfall: Sheamus
Sheamus goes outside and cuts a promo and Goldust attacks him from behind and starts beating the crap out of him before the referee saves Sheamus and he flees.
Match #3 - Extreme Rules Match for the ECW Championship - (c) Christian (Toronto, Ontario) vs. Tommy Dreamer (Yonkers, N.Y.)
They hit each other with weapons early on. Christian gains a slight edge but loses it when Dreamer moves out of the way of a charging Christian, sending Captain Charisma into the hot dog cart behind him. Dreamer's offense consists of eating half a hot dog and shoving the rest in Christian's face.
Dreamer goes for a bulldog but Christian pushes him off, picks up a trash can lid and nails Dreamer with it. Christian hits Dreamer with a kendo stick and Dreamer bails to the outside. Dreamer backdrops Christian onto the floor and then clotheslines him into the crown. Dreamer misses a trash can shot and Christian gets up on the dasher and dropkicks the can into him.
Dreamer sends Christian into a trash can and then hits a pump-handle slam with kendo stick assistance for two with Christian getting his foot on the rope. Christian gets up and wrings Dreamer's back on the top rope. He goes to the top rope with trash can in hand and just slings the can down on Dreamer and comes down. He goes for the cover and gets two.
Christian goes for a tornado DDT onto two trash cans but Dreamer pushes him off into the cans for two. Dreamer puts Christian in the Tree of Woe and puts a trash can in front of his face. Instead of going for the dropkick, he picks up a crutch and just runs and swings the crutch onto the can.
But Dreamer makes a mistake and Christian capitalizes, taking him out. Christian goes to the outside to grab the CAR DOOR he brought to the ring. He charges but Dreamer hits him with a trash can lid. Dreamer goes for a piledriver on the door but Christian reverses into the Killswitch onto the door. Christian puts the door onto Dreamer and pins him.
Winner via pinfall and STILL ECW Champion: Christian
Matt Bishop can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please include your name and hometown. Click here to follow Matt on Twitter. And if you're interested in mixed martial arts, check out Matt's weekly podcast -- Lights Out Radio. Should be a good one!.