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COMMENT





RAW: Orton sees Green
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


Monday Night Raw has finally got me excited about the guest host idea. Why? Because actor and Robot Chicken creator Seth Green is taking over RAW tonight. Whatís Robot Chicken? Well, itís an all around awesome stop-motion animated sketch show on Adult Swim. Tonightís show has a lot of potential.

The show kicks off with a bang from Orlando, Florida, as The Game greets the TV audience. Hunter is awed by the ovations he receives, and introduces tonightís guest host, Seth Green. (I know he isnít the biggest guy in the world, but he looks TINY next to Hunter!)

Greenís first idea is a Diva Swimsuit Spectacular. Hunter likes the idea, and then plugs Robot Chicken. (Season Premier July 26th on Adult Swim.) And then we get a clip, starring Triple H. Green thanks Hunter for his involvement, and then takes a verbal shot at Randy Orton.

I guess Orton doesnít like being made fun by a guy I could beat up (maybe), and walks out to the ring. Orton threatens Green, so Hunter suggests a main event against Orton. The champ argues against the match, so HHH offers to drop Orton right now. Orton wants to know why Green is here. Green responds the tonightís main event will be Orton and Legacy versus Triple H, John Cena, and Seth Green.

Match #1 - Kelly Kelly, Mickie James, and Gail Kim vs. Maryse, Alicia Fox, and Rosa Mendes

(If you are going to make a Divaís match you may as well put them in bikinis. I like Greenís style.)

Maryse attacks Mickie from behind, as she was kicking Alicia out of the ring. Maryse hits a DDT and covers for the win.

Winner via pinfall: Maryse, Alicia Fox, and Rosa Mendes

Chris Jericho is waiting for Seth is his office, and wants to know why Green hasnít catered to him. Green wants to give the people what they want, Jericho says the people donít know what they want. Green wants Jericho to leave if he is going to be so negative. Jericho has other plans, and has an agenda tonight.

Match #2 - Primo vs. The Miz

Primo grabs the mic and I would presume he is going to address what happened last week with his brother. He calls out Carlito, but instead he gets The Miz. Apparently Carlito isnít around, so The Miz is going to leave Primo laying in the ring to impress Maryse.

Primo works over Miz in the corner, and then hits a back body drop. Miz recovers, dropping Primo face first onto the turnbuckle. A side Russian leg sweep sends Miz to the mat, and Primo follows with a drop kick and then connects with a cross body off the turnbuckle. Carlito finally shows up, and distracts Primo. The Miz takes advantage, driving Primo into the mat and then covering him for the win.

Winner via pinfall: The Miz

After the match, Carlito kicks his brother in the ribs and then spits apple in his face.

Cole and King talk about Edgeís injury and wonder about the status of the Unified Tag Team Titles.

Seth has some news for Hornswoggle; heís in a rematch with Chavo Guerrero. Horny isnít too happy, until Green tells him Chavo will have one arm tied behind his back. Green then wants some advice from Big Show, who tells him to watch his match verse Evan Bourne, and then Show does his best Dr. Evil impression.

Match #3 - MVP vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger shows off his amateur background with a quick take down, but after posing, MVP busts him right in the mouth. Swagger ducks out of the ring, and then we go to commercial.

After the break, Swagger runs into an elbow and MVP explodes out of the corner with a clothesline. MVP tosses Swagger back into the ring and looks for the Playmaker. Swagger counters and rams MVP shoulder first into the ring post. The All-American slams MVP to the mat and hits a splash off the second turnbuckle. MVP fights back, whipping Swagger into the corner and following him with a clothesline. MVP drops the Balliní Elbow, but Swagger kicks out at two. Swagger hits a gut wrench power bomb and covers for the win.

Winner via pinfall: Jack Swagger

Oh goody, we get to see pictures of Edgeís surgery.

Chris Jericho is in the ring and announces that the first time in history the Unified Tag Team belts are held by one man. Jericho said he took a risk teaming with the injury-prone Edge, and he was the weak link. Jericho doesnít want to be punished for Edgeís injury, and says he cannot defend the belts at Night of Champions. Jericho says he wonít be stripped of the belts, and there will be no tournaments. Instead, Jericho is allowed to choose a tag team partner due to a clause in his contract. Mark Henry comes to the ring, but Jericho isnít looking excited. Henry says they will be a great team, but he isnít here to be his partner. Henry is out here to be his opponent, and then lays out Jericho. Jericho falls from the ring.

Match #4 - Chris Jericho vs. Mark Henry

Jericho takes his time getting back in the ring. Henry catches him in the corner, and flips him over onto the mat. A clubbing blow over the back sends Jericho the mat. Henry then flattens Jericho sending him scurrying back up the ramp. The ref starts the count, and Jericho is counted out.

Winner via countout: Mark Henry

Match #5 - Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo will have one arm tied behind his back for this match. Hornswoggle kicks Chavo in the rear. Chavo catches Horny with his one hand, but gets bit for his effort. Hornswoggle kicks Chavo in the chest, and then gives him a stick face. Chavo gets a foot up on a splash, and drags Horny to the middle of the ring. Chavo goes for a suplex, but Hornswoggle rolls him up into a small package and gets the three count.

Winner via pinfall: Hornswoggle

Orton tells DiBiase he understands why he did what he did last week. Rhodes informs us his dad might be the guest host next week. Orton gives Legacy their marching orders for tonight. They are to take out Cena and HHH, but Orton wants Seth Green for himself.

Match #6 - The Big Show vs. Evan Bourne

Kofi Kingston joins Cole and Lawler at the announce table.

Show tosses Bourne into the corner, but Bourne quickly avoids him. Show catches Bourne, and tosses him across the ring. Show then lifts Bourne and slams him down. Bourne is chopped in the corner and then sent to the mat with a clubbing blow across the back. Bourne connects with a missile drop kick, but lands on the back of his head. Show nails a spear, and then locks in the Colossal Clutch. Bourne taps out.

Winner via submission: The Big Show

Kofi Kingston attacks after the bell, kicking Show in the back of the head, and driving him from the ring.

Santino is in the back playing with is WWE action figures. Oh, wait, he was auditioning for I. Seth is saved by his tag team partners, and admits he may be in over his head. Cena messes with him, and Triple H tries to pump him up, as Seth takes a hit off his inhaler. Hunter and Cena then argue over who will protect him, but then decide it doesnít matter because he will get killed either way.

Next weekís guest host is ZZ Top. WHAAAATT???!!!??

Match #7 - Randy Orton and Legacy vs. John Cena, Triple H, and Seth Green

Glad to see this match started during the commercial break. Hunter drop Rhodes with a vertical suplex. Hunter feigns a tag to Seth, but Cena takes it. Cena connects with a bulldog, and tags in Seth. Rhodes hits the mat after a right hand, Green then runs from the ring, and Rhodes is taken down on the outside by HHH. Cena tags back in, connecting with a back body drop. Orton nails Cena from behind; as DiBiase distracts the ref. Orton makes the legal tag, and drops Cena with a DDT from the second rope. Cena kicks out. Rhodes locks Cena in a Full Nelson. Cena tries to power out, but gets a knee in the ribs. Both men collide with clotheslines and both men go down. Triple H and Orton get the tags, and Hunter goes to work. HHH hits the spinebuster, but DiBiase breaks up the Pedigree. Cena cleans house of Legacy, but Orton strikes with an RKO. Green breaks the pin, but is left alone in the ring with Orton. The champ kicks Green in the ribs and gets that look in his eye. Cena spears Orton to break up the punt, but is then jumped by Legacy. Rhodes brings a chair, but Hunter brings a sledgehammer, and the ref calls for the bell. Hunter doesnít connect with any shots, but does almost hit Cena. Hunter drops the sledge and both men stare at each other with Green stuck in the middle. Hunter and Cena both raise Greenís arms as Legacy watches from the stage.

Winner via DQ: Triple H, John Cena, and Seth Green

Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM! Wrestling since 2003 and owns the entire Robot Chicken collection. Follow Dale on Twitter @DPlummer627